Yo Here's the Dealio

My faithful readers (all 4 of you) know about my struggles with Nick and his sleep habits. He still struggles to sleep alone even though he's been doing it for like. . . 8 months now? He just doesn't like being alone in a room. Ever. Nick is a social butterfly and I believe it is this dominant personality trait that has kept him from being a "good sleeper".

As you know I have read all the big books, cover to cover, about how to be a good, successful Mommy and get your kid to put himself to sleep alone in a room alone. Did I mention ALONE? Yeah - the "alone" thing is the sticking point with Nick. You know us Mommies are judged heavily based upon how well our children sleep. I didn't make the rules. It is just how it is. After all, isn't that one of the first things people ask you when you have a baby? How is he/she sleeping? If I was gutsy enough to be honest and say that he slept in my bed people would break eye contact and mutter something unintelligible. It happened to me more than I can count.

Well I stand before you, proud (finally) to be a Mommy of an 19 month old that I rock to sleep. That's right, I said it. Not every night but about 50% of the time. He is in his own bed and in his own room (finally). I do it because he has made it perfectly clear on every single day of his 19 months that this is what he needs. He needs to be held. He needs to be cuddled and he needs that human contact. Meeting his needs is my job and I love doing it.

Lucas didn't need the human contact as much. He is perfectly comfortable with alone time and is very happy to be by himself in a room. He always has been. He is a different kid with different needs. That is where these stupid "how to raise a baby" books fail miserably. They don't factor in the uniqueness of each personality, and how could they?

But after nearly a full year of sleepless nights where I was convinced I'd go insane from extreme fatigue, and another 6 months of frequent wakings (every 5-6 hours) I am now at peace with the situation. One book went so far as to threaten that my child will be an alcohol abuser as an adult if he doesn't learn good sleep habits now (because alcohol helps you sleep). An alcohol abuser? Really?

One day I'll wish I could go back in time and rock him to sleep. I'll miss the absolute trust he puts in me as he lays there in my arms closing his eyes and taking that deep sigh as he drifts off. I'm going to soak it in. All the know-it-all's of baby sleep habits can go suck an egg.

There. I'm off my soapbox now.