OH. MY. GOD.

Do you see this? This is impending doom for that coast line. Have you ever walked along a coast looking at all the little teeny, tiny things that live there? The bugs, fungus, algae and fish. It is incredible the density of life in these areas. I sure hope that the brilliant minds that figured out how to drill into the gulf to locate oil are able to figure out how to save all of the little lives that are in the path of the thick nasty crude oil blowing right at them.

"Drill baby, drill"


Photo credit: http://modis.gsfc.nasa.gov/gallery/showall.php

Kristin's View

Welcome to my view of the last 36 hours. I ate some slightly questionable meat for lunch on Friday and by Friday evening I was wishing for sweet death. In my defense the meat smelled fine, looked fine, and tasted fine. It had just been in the fridge for a few days (alright like 4 days) and I relied on my sense of smell to tell me it was bad instead of my common sense. Are you ready for the tour of my bathroom - where I have been living? Here we go . . .

Toilet. (Thank GOD I cleaned this Friday afternoon, totally unaware I'd have my face in it so much)



My view as I laid and sometimes slept on the bathroom floor. Sometimes the cats would curl up next to me, apparently concerned for my welfare. It was from this position that I often wondered if I should just have AJ bring a pillow and blanket to make it slightly more comfortable.



Here is my alternate view of the ceiling.



Oppps. Back to the toilet for another round of violent projectile vomiting. It was in this position that I wondered where all the vomit was coming from? How on earth could I have that much inside my stomach? And then later I cussed out the evolutionary process for creating bile.



I lamented over this awful tile and how I wouldn't live to see it removed and replaced.

I called AJ in for a serious discussion on how he was going to raise the children alone. No joke. I did indeed have this conversation. I wondered how I was ever going to survive this extreme dehydration when I wasn't able to get water down or keep it down. The only thing that made it remotely better was drinking Gookinaid (Vitalyte). That stuff has saved my booty on more than one occasion and once again it came through for me.


I then laid on the floor some more wishing for sleep - or some sort of break from the 20 minute apart episodes of extreme sickness.



Now that I'm mostly better I have an aversion to animal products. I'm hoping to get over this aversion soon. I can't eat beans for the rest of my life. Anyway. Things are better. I'm sitting upright and walking around unassisted. I'm re-hydrating and am less dizzy and lightheaded. My pulse has gone down and I'm conscious for more than 30 minute intervals. And AJ isn't a single parent. Whoo Hooo!

Way Over the Line

People have been posting this on facebook and I think it is really terrible. I can't imagine wanting a U.S. President dead. I realize it might be a joke or some sort of snarky statement but it is inappropriate. Just because you disagree with someone doesn't mean you should wish them death. Extremists aren't just over seas or of a different religion. What ever happened to that old belief of forgiving each other?

DEAR LORD, THIS YEAR YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTOR, PATRICK SWAYZIE. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTRESS, FARAH FAWCETT. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE SINGER, MICHAEL JACKSON. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW, MY FAVORITE PRESIDENT IS BARACK OBAMA. AMEN.

And Then Out of the Blue . . .

Today for a few hours I watched a 4 year old little girl for a friend. It seemed to be going well for the first few minutes after her Mom left. She was sitting on the couch being a sweet little girl. And then out of the blue Lucas walked up to her (his back to me) and this is how it went:

Lucas: Do you have an inside pee pee?

Me: Lucas we aren't talking about that now.

Little girl: Huh?

Lucas: I have an outside pee pee, see? (whips out his penis)

Me: LUCAS NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PUT THAT AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lucas: Why?

I don't know if she saw anything. I was pretty fast to stop him once it clicked that he was in the process of exposing himself to this innocent little blue eyed girl sitting nicely on my couch. I immediately had visions of her Dad knocking on my door wanting to know why his daughter is asking about my son's penis.

So hey. Heads up people, I have a little exhibitionist over here so be warned. I'm working on it. The concept of privacy is still foreign.

But holy crap. HOLY CRAP. My son just whips it out when ever now? I can't take my eyes off him for a minute with any little girls. I didn't anticipate this problem for at least 10 years!!!

Oh Such Madness

My experimental dinner failed. So to cheer myself up I made a blueberry pie. Jillian Michaels would be proud of me, emotionally eating my way to culinary self-esteem. The pie rocked and I felt better about my mad kitchen skillz. When in doubt make pie I say!


Here is Nick watching his new best friend (on TV) Oobi. Yes Oobi is a hand with strange floating eyeballs perched on top. And the producers affix globs of hair here and there to create different characters. If you haven't yet met Oobi you are probably not suffering from the nightmares that I am. He and his cohorts are creepy. And Nick loves him which makes it even more disturbing.


Then Nick saw me taking his picture. And decided that he needed to be the photographer.


Here is the result. A picture capturing the madness in my eyes. These are my eyes!! These are wild woman gone crazy eyes!! Way worse than Oobi eyes. They look as crazy as the runaway brides eyes. Remember her nutty eyes? Well. I wouldn't think much of it but every picture I see of myself lately I have serial killer eyes. I mean really, look at this picture and tell me you'd be comfortable with me sitting next to you on a couch. You can't do it!


Here is beautiful Lucas.


Here he is taking his own picture.


Her majesty.


Nick learned to curl his tongue.


And managed to get a picture of me doing it too.


Oh yeah. And during shower time SOMEONE pooped in the shower. I'm pretty sure it wasn't Lucas because he about came out of his skin when he turned around and saw it. You should have seen the madness in my eyes when I was scrubbing our shower down with bleach afterward. I just thought I'd share a couple pictures of the poop in our shower because you really can't see enough of that now can you?


Good times. That's right Nick. Act like you don't know who did it. I'll be doing the same thing to you when I'm in my nineties and you get to pick up my poop in YOUR shower.

I Gave Up

I gave up yelling at them to stay off the bed while I tried to change the sheets. I just got tired of yelling to "stop it!!". So here is the result. JUMP JUMP JUMP. Drink, Drink, Drink. JUMP JUMP JUMP. In that order.

Just before I gave up I had pulled the bed out and vacuumed under it. Let's take a moment here to pause. Because wow. I should do that more.







I also found a very small pair of underwear wrapped around my faucet.

Mommy Needs a Time-Out and Medication

Took the kids to the Dr. again yesterday. This time for a mysterious cough (nasty, productive, awful sounding) that has lasted for 5 weeks. It's a lonnnng story that I won't bore you with details but 2.5 hours later we were able to leave the doctor - after getting two completely unnecessary tests. Nick got a Rx for an antibiotic to treat a possible sinus infection (which may cause drainage = cough) and Lucas got the dreaded amoxicillin for a possible sinus infection. I am super paranoid now about mixing up the syringes for dosing the kids - because Nick can't have any amoxicillin. Ever. And even though I wash them I am still worried.

Nick got his drugs last night before bed and . . . . appeared to have some sort of mild reaction to the drug and was up LITERALLY all night long. He finally fell asleep around 4:30 am. Ahhhh.

Then we got up at the crack of dawn and headed off to the RV park where my parents are staying so that the kids could watch them drive away (they left this morning) which in theory will help them realize that they are actually gone and not just hiding in their campsite. I don't think it worked because Lucas keeps asking when Grammy and Pop are coming by. *deep sigh*

Then Nick had explosive diarrhea - likely another reaction to his antibiotic. That was fun. I would post a picture of the incredible fun I had cleaning it up but I will spare you. If I could somehow send the smell across the internet to you I would though. It was highly aromatic.

Then Nick's speech lady arrived. Then the boys started fighting. Aggressively fighting. Then I pulled my hair out. Then I further eroded the fragile lining of my stomach by consuming wayyy too much Diet Coke as a feeble attempt at coping with this day.

Instead of lunch I fed the children graham crackers dipped in milk (they do the dipping) and sent them off to a VERY early nap/quiet time. I will feed them something more substantial if I am able to recover some measure of sanity - and after my stomach stop hurting.

Next up: I get to go change sheets again from another potty accident in bed. Then I will be freed up to empty the dishwasher *I know!!* YAYYYY! How freakin' jealous are you? Shut Up!! I know you want to be me.

Update: Great NEWS! Then neighbor just came by and rang the doorbell and woke Nick up. I smiled through gritted teeth trying to be nice. The few brain cells that are still rational ask how could he know Nick was sleeping, but the rest of me is obsessing over his stupidity.

And I didn't get to work out because I drank too much Diet Coke (stomach hurts) and decided to update my blog instead of taking care of my body. So far my 33 year sucks a big fatty.

Yardwork and Lunch meat

I bought a turkey breast for $8. I cooked it and got all this lunch meat!! And guess what? It doesn't have any added nitrates like the processed stuff in the store and deli. I cooked turkey breasts all the time when I was pregnant because I craved turkey.


And I got 4 quarts of broth out of it too!!! Just thought I'd do some bragging about my thriftiness. That is how us house wives are judged right? Our thriftiness? Oh and how clean it is under our refrigerators. I think we are all screwed there, huh?


We got 4 trees planted!!!



And my Dad wore this awesome t-shirt! Love it!

32

I'm thirty two. I am now working on my 33rd year of life.

I'm more than a little depressed about this.

Don't handle birthdays well at all.

Never have.

I remember being 8 years old and not wanting to grow up.

I cried when I turned 16.

I know I'm weird.

I don't care.

I lie to people and say that I'm having a great day.

I smile when they are sweet and wish me a good day.

But in the end I dread birthdays.

Not so much because I'm aging but because they remind me that I still have a huge list of things I want to accomplish/do/see/eat/try etc.

Grammy and Lucas

I love this picture. They both have similar eye color. It is pretty obvious that Lucas got his beautiful blue eyes from his Grammy.

For Amy ER

I don't have anything exciting to report.

Here is Lucas. He is getting soooooo BIG.


Here is Lucas' new clock. He always wants to know what time it is so we bought him a clock and put pictures up next to it so he can "see" what time we wake up and what time we go to bed. He is so incredibly proud that he has his very own clock to read in his bedroom. I love how his face lit up with pride that he was big enough to own his own clock. Lucas even selected the location on his wall where he wanted it hung. Sooo sweet. He is growing too fast. I want to slow time down so I can hang onto this innocent, little boy who still likes hugs and kisses.

Sexy Just The Way I Am

Well that pesky pubic hair has grown back thicker than ever.

I knew I should have just gone Au Natural for Sports Illustrated. What man doesn't want to run his fingers through a little hair though?

I sometimes like to wear this outfit and drive around in my 1978 Trans Am T-top while playing Def Leopard loud on the boom box in my passenger seat (stereo stopped working circa 1984).

Pour some sugar on this baby.

( I just have too much time on my hands - that's all)

Grammy and Pop

The wind is blowing so hard here we are getting huge dust storms that coat the interior of the house with dirt, even when the house is all closed up. I have given quite a bit of thought to xeriscaping and initially wanted to do what everyone does - import several tons of rock to cover it up. But I look at the rock in the front of the house and see that it is quickly being consumed by the sandy desert around us. Rocking our backyard would look "good"(if you can call it that) for a few years and then the sand would begin to reclaim it. So I'm researching easier, cost effective and environmentally friendly ways to handle our back yard. I am finding quite a few great ideas. We already have most of the trees planted that we want established. Now I'm moving onto shrubs and then I'll focus on smaller perennials. I don't want to spend the money watering plants forever so all the plants, once established, will need minimal water. I am sticking to desert adapted, non-invasive plants - mostly natives. Some of the trees are not native, but the evergreens I select will be. Anyway. I'll keep you posted. I think we may hold off this year on a permanent vegetable garden until we put in the drip irrigation next year. This year will be a temporary garden (not raised beds as I plan in the future).

This seascape is my back yard. The dust coming into the house from the sand is hard to live with.

Playful Kristin

It's as if I never had kids. Ahhhh. I mean, I knew Jillian Michaels was a miracle worker but wow. Look at my body!! No stretch marks, my thighs are teeny tiny and most importantly that pesky pubic hair has been removed. :)

AJ after his "replenishing" drink

Heee. Hee.

A Different Time

This is from a long lost civilization that I am completely unfamiliar with.

Wow. Right?

It's not just me is it? That is some crazy SH*$ right there.

Let me just sum this up from my unwholesome 21st century point of view:

• Children in fur are not sexy
  
• I CAN open it *gasp*
  
• if you love your child you will Feed THEM COLA and 7UP
  
• the psycho kid with the Cellophane bread is that way due to the contents of her "enriched bread" and quite possibly an early start on cola
  
• Santa should be smoking so he can deal with the children hyped on on sugar sodas
  
• I DID NOT TAKE MY VITAMINS TODAY!
• This is the generation who dropped the A-Bomb thus exposing the entire globe to radiation. Nuff said.
  

Easter 2010

Here are a couple of pictures. I am not the one who chose to dress the children in Christmas colors. I just wanted to throw that out there for those of you who noticed. I noticed.



Nick was surprisingly aggressive (sarcasm) when hunting for eggs. He was far more into the game of finding eggs than Lucas was at this age. I would attribute it to having an older brother show him the ropes, but Nick jumped right in without observing Lucas hunting eggs. Nick is a born competitor. Lucas on the other hand was more observant and took care to not crack the eggs as he placed them in the basket, demonstrating overall excellent egg handling techniques. Both boys did an great job. My critique is now complete. :)

This is a video of the kids doing an egg hunt inside. Fun fun!