Fuzzie Wuzzies and Family

Dis is my fuzzie wuzzie baby Haylee. She was swooper cute and posed for pictures for me. Isn't she just so cuddly wuddly? She was a little miffed this morning because we forgot to turn the thermostat on and it dipped to a bone chilling 61 degrees inside this morning. She ended up letting me know about her extreme discomfort by wrapping herself around my head and meowing. Poor widdle baby's palace had a slight chill. And fuzzy wuzzy baby Princess can't handle a dip in temperature - she will notify me promptly by suffocating me with cat hair. We hairless humans hadn't noticed the dip in temperature, but Princess Haylee sure did.




Lucas was so proud of himself for hooking up his pipe to the faucet and turning on the water. A civil engineer in the making???


Pop and the boys cozied up on the sofa for some morning cartoons.

Have You Ever. . .

Have you ever had to unplug a toilet - but instead of using a plunger you keep waiting for the water level to go down so you can flush again in ONE MORE FAILED and desperate attempt at getting the nastiness to go down the freaking toilet hole without any hands on intervention from you? Then once the reality sets in that you will in fact have to use the dreaded plunger, you can only do so with the help of two very curious and very vocal little boys? "Ewww MOMMMMM!!!"

Nah. Me nether. I was just seeing if you had ever had to do this. . . because it sure hasn't ever happened to me. My dignity is in tact. . . .

Oh and in other - totally unrelated - news. . . we will be getting new toilets with a higher flushing capacity this summer!!! Whoot Whoot!

This is a picture of Nick hanging onto Lucas's head/hair while he jumps up and down on the ottoman. Just a day in the life, people. A day in the life.


I have been on a dehydrating kick lately. I am currently making all sorts of fruit rollups for the kids. Today it was blackberry/pear/banana rollups. Very good.



We took the boys to their first swim lesson on Saturday morning. Let me start by saying that it took me nearly 40 minutes in the shower to weed-whack my leg hair down to a socially acceptable level. I rarely shave my legs anymore. I am fortunate enough to have very pale, very soft and thin leg hair so shaving, I have decided, is optional for Miss Kristin. Don't get me started on how I think society is unnecessarily pressuring women to shave hair that really doesn't need to be removed. . . . *ahem* hold on while I light a pile of bras on fire. . . . moving on. . . . .

The boys were enrolled in the "tots and parents" class. This is where the parents get into the water with their young children to help them get used to being in water at all. Next comes the tadpoles which is for children who are preschoolers who learn to adjust to being in water with out their parents. They learn to hold their breath and float. There were about 5 different levels of swimmers there and they were all in the same pool. The pool was surrounded by a GAZILLION parents who were watching their little darlings learn to swim.

Except for us parents with tots. We got to parade out in our swim suits with our screaming, clinging "tots" and awkwardly try to keep out "tots" from ripping our swim suits off of our shoulders IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. I was by far the most blindingly white person there. I was also the biggest person who dared to be seen in a swim suit. Giggle Giggle. Yeah. It felt reeeaaaaalllllllll good to have to bend over in front of the packed house of parents in the ankle deep water to pick up my "tot" who was coming un-freakin' glued because he was standing in water. Then little monkey boy tried to rip off my swim suit in a fit to get me to leave the water entirely. Yes he began to actually SPUR me like a god damned bronco. I'm not joking. He had great technique and should really ride large animals for a career.

It took me about 20 minutes to get Nick to be comfortable in the water. I finally was able to get him a kick board to hang onto and I held the kick board with one hand and wrapped my arm around his torso with the other and we motor boated around the pool. He was having a blast. So I handed him in this position off to AJ so I could play with Lucas who was having the time of his life.

AJ decided that Nick, my TWENTY ONE month old child, had mastered the kick board after 5 minutes and let go of the kid so that he could GRAB ONTO HIS ANKLES and show him how to kick. Do you know what happened next? Nick rolled off the kick board and went under water. AJ quickly retrieved my TWENTY ONE month old BABY from under water. Nick sputtered and then started screaming and crying. It was then that the whistle was blown and everyone was done with lessons for the day. Nick's final memory of the pool is a near death experience. So. Next week I get to start all over trying to get Nick accustomed to the water again.

Lucas on the other hand loved the water and had a blast. Except that the pool gradually got deeper and deeper. I hadn't realized this but kids who aren't familiar with pools, or water for that matter, will just keep walking deeper and deeper into the water until they are no longer able to get a breath. It seems kinda strange that a kid wouldn't just turn around and head for higher ground but no - I watched Lucas walk into the deep end and he was quickly rescued by the teacher before he gulped water. I had a fleeting thought of him taking orders at McDonald's for the rest of his life. But then I watched another kid do the same thing so I decided that all kids must inadvertently try to drown themselves if not watched carefully. Good to know.

Monster Trucks

We were given 4 free tickets to go see the monster trucks!!! The arena is literally 3 minutes from the house so how could you say no? Plus the tickets were in a company "suite" with a fridge and comfy seats. . . . not bad for the Johnson's. I've never been to see the monster trucks before although I always wanted to go see them as a kid. It was a big deal when I'd see the ads on TV for the monster trucks - I kept hoping and wishing that I could go see them. Now a couple decades later I finally went!!!



Wonderful non-toxic, non-cancer causing exhaust filled the air!!! It was great!!!! When we got home our clothes wreaked of fumes, our skin had to be scrubbed to remove the stench but WHO CARES because it was the loud and obnoxious entertainment that I'd always dreamed of. I had a great time.

This is the face of a child who just discovered his love of big trucks. He had so much fun! Lucas has decided he wants to build big trucks. I asked him if he wanted to race them and he very firmly said "No. I want to build them, Mom, not race them."



See this maniac flying through the air? This will be Nick in a few years.

This is the pee-wee racing. This man helped the FOUR YEAR OLD ("Little Rodriguez" as the announcer called him) back onto his bike. It was so cute. His helmet looked like it weighed more that the kid wearing it. Every time the kid would make it over a mound without falling the whole audience would cheer. Adorable. Start 'em young I guess. It might keep the little dare devil out of jail if he has an outlet for his adrenaline needs. This is why I think we need to get Nick into something like this.

Who Cares?

Finally. I have perfected my recipe. My scones will now kick your scones' ass. !!! !!!



I'm not all weirdly competitive about things that don't matter to anyone but myself. . . or anything. I'm just sayin'. Bring it on, scone people.

Super Mom

Why can't you MAKE them go to sleep? We have super powers to make boo boos go away with a kiss and a cuddle, so why can't we have super powers that make them sleep? It is 1:40pm and Nick is usually waking up from his nap right now. Except today he hasn't yet gone to sleep and is in there screaming at me. And I don't care because DAMN IT he isn't taking away the ONE small window of my day where I can actually sit down and stop telling small people to "stop it!". So I'm in here wishing that my super powers will kick in and he will magically fall asleep on command.

Things I've Said Lately

"Nobody wants to eat off a spoon that has been down your pants."

"Stop choking your brother!"

"If you are going to explore your body then you need a bath first."

"Nick don't close the toilet lid while your brother is going potty!"

"No, Lucas that is a Lady." "Lucas stop arguing with me, that is a lady!" (She was 2 feet away and able to hear)

"Sit your butt down and watch your cartoons quietly!!!" (I never thought I'd order my child to watch TV)

To Avoid Drinking

Nick is in full teething mode again. This time it is actually happening. And it is three of them at one time. Plus he decided to have his first real full-out tantrum today, which lasted for 45 minutes. It involved screaming, kicking, slamming his bedroom door repeatedly, dramatically throwing himself onto and off of his bed while screaming, throwing books across the room etc. For 45 minutes. It was all I could do not to laugh but then after a while I was really temped to crack open a beer. It was 8:45am.

Lucas decided that his hearing is bad. He doesn't respond to me at all, and completely ignores me when I ask him to do crazy shit like BEHAVE. He knocked his brother down, threw sand in Nick's eyes, stepped on grapes that fell onto my carpet. When I told him to go to time out - he was once again deaf. But when I asked him if he wanted chocolate milk his hearing miraculously returned. Hallelujah. It is 9:00am. I started looking longingly towards my bottle of tequila.

So we went to the botanical gardens. I needed to distract Nick from his mouth pain, make Lucas forget about his inability to hear and I needed to avoid being in the house with alcohol. I sound like an alcoholic but I'm not, I just sometimes drink alone. . . locked in my dark closet. . . . while my children are outside the door screaming that they are hungry. Joking.

The distraction worked. We had a great time, Nick was his old self with a little distraction and Lucas was able to hear me the entire time.

Slathered with sunblock and ready to go.


Nick found a mushroom to hug. The dude behind us with the cigar sized holes in his earlobes didn't seem to understand why Nick was hugging a mushroom. But I understood.


Then Nick screamed in partial fear and partial amazement when he located the GIANT buzzing bee. "BEE!! Momma, BEE! BEE!" His alarm subsided when I got down to his level, wrapped an arm around him and talked about the bee with him.


Ant ridin'. Yeee Hawww!



Lucas loved the ants and LOVED the giant bird nest. So much fun. He was bouncing around unable to contain his excitement.


Lucas was sitting on the giant log while Nick tries to position himself on the slide inside of it.


Here comes LUCAS!!



"EGGS! In the NEST MOM!!"


Then we went to the cactus/succulent building where we had a long and in depth discussion on the different types of cactus. Some are tall, some are round, some are purple, some are fuzzy, some have long spines, some don't have any branches etc. It was exciting to see the cactus/succulent world through their eyes.


Then we had an in depth discussion on the weapons grade plutonium waste water that has washed down stream from Los Alamos and into the botanical gardens, causing flowers to "glow". Just playing. . . Picasa photo editing made the flower glow. So far the plutonium has had little effect on us, as far as we can tell anyway. : )


See? Perfectly formed and exceptionally cute.


Except for this teething issue. We are all waiting for it to ease up.

Hungry

I love how the kids hover around me while I sit on the couch eating a yogurt. They want a bite and so they sit on either side of me with their mouths open like little birds waiting for me to give them another bite. It is so cute and has become a nightly ritual. Adorable.

Sneaky Anniversary

CRAP PEOPLE!!! My wedding anniversary is on Monday. I'm glad I remembered today and not on the actual day like I normally do.

AJ has to remind me every year. But not this year. I'm ahead of the curve this year, I remembered 1.5 days in advance!!

Can you tell that I am a hopeless romantic? *wink, wink*

How long will we have been married? Hold on while I do the math.

Still thinking.

Still counting on my fingers.

Wait. Lost count. Recounting.

Shit. What year did we marry?

I think it was 2002.

So. After a lot of concentration I have determined that we have been married for 8 years.

We have known and loved each other for 10.5 years.

In another 10.5 years we will have a 14 year old son and a 12 year old son.

That's all just crazy talk.

UPDATE: Cancel that. It's on Tuesday. I think.

March Card Club

Miss Amy McCollum came to my house and put on another card club event. She organized and taught us how to do each card, and she did an amazing job teaching us while holding our babies so that we could clumsily create our cards. It was lots of fun. And the cards are less expensive to make than to buy in the store!







What else have I been up to? It has been a very busy week. Nick seems to be over his rash which is good. Except yesterday evening he fell at a playground where my parents are staying and bit nearly through his lower lip. Yes it bled a lot but that is what mouth/head injuries do. They look worse than they are. The problem is that his lip is hot, and it is swelling up more and more. This evening it looks quite large. I have an appointment in the am to take him BACK to stinkin' urgent care AGAIN. I swear to GOD this kid is costing us a small fortune just in co-pays not to mention prescriptions.

The night before last I caught the boys on my bed jumping off of my bed into a pile of pillows they had created at the foot of my bed. I walked in to see Nick full-on LAUNCH himself off the foot of the bed "belly flop style" and land on the mound of pillows. Lucas did the same thing and nearly landed on Nick. Then they both giggled their little butts off as they climbed back onto the bed to do it again. I just left the room. I mean, they are going to find a way to hurt themselves one way or another. This wasn't life or death. I think it is just what boys do.

Oh - and I am making the worlds ugliest pot pie tonight:


Appetizing huh?

Timing

Why is it that children have the WORST timing? Today I was coming out of Albertsons and it was unexpectedly snowing and with big fat snow flakes coming down hard! Where the hell did the snow come from??? It had been sunny, like 15 minutes ago!!!

I rushed to the car and the kids were screaming with joy about the freaking cold wet snow at which point Nick takes his shoe off so he can create more havoc in my life. I don't know why the shoe was in his way but it somehow was. Anyway he drops it on the wet slushy nasty dirty asphalt, I bend down to pick it up and expose wayyy too much of my butt crack to not only the cold freezing snow, but also to an old lady who was behind me. I bet she appreciated the show. At least I don't have a tramp stamp.

I pull up my pants and finish the trip to the car when both children pitch a living FIT about getting into the car where it is warm and uh- dry, because they wanted to catch more snow on their tongues. This would normally be something I'd be supportive of, except Miss Kristin was wearing freaking sandals because I adamantly refuse to admit it is still winter. And because I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed.

So I wrestle both kids into the car, don't strap them in because I want to get my now, soggy paper grocery bags out of the weather before they disintegrate completely and make me expose my ass again as I pick up groceries off the ground. The kids are screaming. LOUD. I'm still getting soaked as I load groceries as fast as humanly possible. I go buckle Lucas in who gives me a horrible look as if to say I'm the worst Mommy ever - it worked. I felt terrible. But not as terrible as my frozen wet toes. Nick fought me practically to the death as I tried to buckle him in.

Picture this: Nick is arching his back and SCREAMING as I try to force him into the seated position so I could buckle him. I had to take my palm and push hard on his pelvis so that he would bend in the middle. It must have looked and sounded like I was really doing something terrible to this kid because I had to brace myself on the door jam to successfully get Mr. Drama into his car seat. The single young couple in the Hummer next to us got a real show.

I get into the car, look in the mirror and realize I didn't close the back hatch of the car, so OUT I go into the FREAKING snow again and close the hatch. My hair was soaked, my feet were really cold and wet, the kids were pissed and all I could think about was that I had to get the hell out of there before the unsympathetic assholes in the Hummer called the cops on me.

I ended up buying the kids a slushy at Sonic to keep them quiet. I told them it was special snow. It worked.

Crazy is Comin' to Town

There is this person that I once worked beside and then I worked for. "Greg" and I have loosely stayed in touch through the years. When I knew "Greg" he was in a terribly abusive relationship which he is no longer in. That relationship left him spiraling and mentally ill. I have felt so badly for "Greg", and have wanted to help but I can't help because he lives across the country. All I've been able to do is listen over the phone, for hours and hours. And I have remotely watched the mental illness take hold and shake and thrash Greg so that he no longer knows which way is up. He is on medication but those only go so far. He has lost motivation. The relationship left him feeling worthless and alone, and that is really hard to come back from. It completely paralyzed him.

It got so bad that I couldn't get a hold of him for months and literally had to call every hotel in his town until I tracked him down. I made the hotel clerks continually page his room until he woke up and answered the phone at 3 in the afternoon. He is now homeless (by choice) and forced to retire (with a decent pension) due to his inability to function at work. I know Greg can come back from this. I know that Greg is smart and talented and could find work if only he could pull his life together.

I just got a call from Greg that said that he would like to move to Albuquerque and was hoping to be in my neighborhood. I don't want to live this close to Greg. I have tried to convey to Greg that I am busy and I don't have a lot of free time. Which is true. I can't hold Greg's hand on a daily basis to help him get back on his feet. He remembers the newly married-have-lots-of-time Kristin. He is moving here because he likes it here, has lived here before and thinks this would make a great location for a fresh start.

He was excited because he imagined us looking for homes together. I politely but firmly told him I can't go looking for homes with him because I have two little ones and it is impossible to look for homes with children - I did it for 5 months last year and don't wish to do it again. But my time constraints haven't phased him. He isn't hoping for anything more than friendship because he is gay. So that isn't an issue here. I do consider Greg a friend. We have great laughs together but I also enjoy being able to hang up the phone.

I just don't know what to do. I want to encourage the new start, but I don't want to be leaned on heavily to facilitate the new start. I've already got my hands full. And to be honest I have to protect my own, hard won sanity. How can I help without getting caught up in that situation?

Oh Goodie More Hive Pictures

I don't even know what to say.

I know this reaction could be worse. It could be life or death, and thankfully it is not. I can't imagine watching my child struggle to breathe. The thought terrifies me. I just hate feeling helpless in our current situation.

Last night Nick spent a good portion of the night trying to claw his skin off because he itched so badly and it burned terribly, and between the crying and pleading of a toddler and us trying to apply cool wet washcloths to his hot damaged skin we didn't sleep. I thought the prednisone was the miracle drug this morning because after we gave it to him in the wee hours of the morning his skin calmed down. But then later in the morning I saw that his face was getting even puffier than before. His eyelids are swollen.


It's like the steroids work for a few hours and then he flares right back up. They said this could last days or weeks and one doctor uttered "a month or more". I'm choosing to ignore the utterance. This just sucks because I can't help him. Nothing is making it go away immediately which as a concerned (*ahem sleep deprived*) and loving Mommy is top on my priority list. Immediate results, where are the immediate results? So we are waiting and waiting and hoping that it will fade. His right foot is still really swollen and red as if a huge hive is residing there permanently.



As you can see not much else has changed. It isn't getting horribly worse so it seems to have frozen in its intensity. Patches come and then fade and then reappear.


I will refrain from posting yet another terrible shot of his back, because it looks the same.

Lucas has been a champ this whole time. He is tired like the rest of us but over all he has been fantastic. I hope he holds up when AJ leaves on Sunday. He has a hard time when AJ leaves, but I'm hopeful that Nick will start feeling and looking better and I will be more rested.

Hey. Next post I might even spare you the photos of the suffering child. That would be nice wouldn't it?

Doesn't Seem to be Improving

The rash doesn't seem to be improving. I'm not sure what the time line on these things are, but it has full on spread to his face and eyes. He's got diarrhea and so . . . I'm taking him back to the hospital. Yuck. I just thought that the benadryl would have stopped it by now and maybe it would be retreating or looking better 12 hours into the benadryl. But it's not at all.

The first two pics are from an oatmeal bath around 8:30 last night.




These are from this afternoon. See? It still looks bad. And you can see it has moved up to his face including his eyes and scalp. Really, I don't mean to be an alarmist but the pictures aren't doing it justice at this point. It is pretty ugly and bad. He is terribly uncomfortable.

Umm. Hives

This is what an allergic reaction looks like, apparently. Not the throws of a vanishing virus. I decided to take him in to the hospital this evening because it kept spreading and getting worse. And the Dr. told me that it was good that I brought him in. So. Lesson learned. Take him in for any rash even if you think you've seen it before. The universe will decide to teach you a lesson if you think you already know what's going on. I can't win. Last time I rushed him in for a rash they practically laughed at me. Here are the pics I took at the Doctor's office.

Little Dude's Rash

In case anyone is curious about what Nick's rashes look like here ya go. I know you are all so excited to see this. He gets these after an illness. The Dr's keep reassuring me they are normal and that viruses do this as a last parting gift to their victims. Damn invincible viruses.