Halloween Videos

Halloween 2010 from Kristin Johnson on Vimeo.




I Want More Candy 10-31-2010 from Kristin Johnson on Vimeo.

Happy Halloween!!!

Sweet Babies



Nick walked up to the fire and put his hand right on the glass of the fireplace.  My poor little baby.  I felt terrible that I didn't have a fire screen up, but I've never needed one because we've never used the fireplace and our heater was broken so I turned on the fireplace and told the boys not to touch and. . . . burned little baby hand.  I'm feeling TERRIBLE still two days later!



Two days later Nick is feeling just fine, and is back to showing off his belly button again.



My friend came to visit with her two beautiful little girls.  It was great to see them. 



Awww.  Somebody is walking!!!  AND she willingly came to me with a smile.

And somebody is super patient with my boys who kept stealing toys from her.  What a love.





It's Never A Good Thing When . . .

 . . .  the heater repair man takes the panel to your furnace off and then takes a step back and says "hmmmm." followed by him reading the panel label for some direction.

 . . . .he tells you he's an out of work electrician and his high school buddy hired him.

 . . . he seemingly randomly disconnects wires, can't tell you why, and then "jumps" them with his own wires.

. . . you find yourself reading the panel label so that you can tell him what to do next.

. . .  you silently realize that he is unable to read, so you discreetly offer to read the panel aloud while he does all the work - just to make things more efficient.

. . .  an hour and a half go by and he still can't tell you where the gas valve to the furnace is located (the panel directions told us to locate various parts).

. . . you find the gas valve and a loose wire and fix the problem yourself.

. . .  his response to you fixing it is: "Whoa!!! That was major!! Good thinking!"

 . . .  he can't put your furnace back together after he took it apart.

. . .  he calls his boss for help.

. . .  he tells you his boss is pissed at him for not being "all professional and shit".

. . . he can't figure out how to put your filter into place.  Ass crack exposed during this procedure.

. . . he muscles on the panels for your heater and in the process bends the panels out of shape.

. . . and rips a huge ventilation pipe from the ceiling.  Huge.  5 ft long and 12" in diameter.  Huge piece of pipe riped away from the sheet metal screws.

. . . you tell him to just leave the panel and the 12" diameter pipe on the ground and beg him to leave before he breaks anything else.

. . .he reassures you that you didn't really need the massive 12" diameter pipe anyway. 

Loud Screaming in the Background

Have you ever tried to give directions to an alarmingly lost repair man over the phone while a two year old screams (SCREEEAAMMMSSSSS) on the other side of the locked door while banging and kicking the door???

Have you ever tried to focus trying to tell a lost repair man which direction was fucking NORTH while trying to be heard over the amazingly loud screaming/banging/kicking?

Have you ever had a lost and directionally challenged repair man tell you that he can try to find your house without directions so that you can go deal with a child who refuses to allow you to talk on the phone for FIVE MINUTES????

Can you tell that I'm super pissed and am blowing off some steam on my blog??? 

Where in the hell did he get the idea that he can KICK and HIT my (MY!!!) doors in my (MY!!!) house?

And let me just ask you a few more questions.

Why did my oldest child decide that I am his maid?  He threw a sock at my feet and told (TOLD!!!) me to put it in the laundry. 

Excuse me?  I'm sorry.  That shit ain't gonna fly around here.  NO WAY.

And this morning he told me that I need to listen to him more closely because HE didn't want oatmeal for breakfast, he wanted pancakes. 

Oh it gets better.

He then told me that his preschool teacher was a better listener because she cleans and organizes all the toys he plays with.  She does things he wants her to do. 

Yep.  I'm raising a little male chauvinist.

I told him that he will eat what I cook for him or else he will be a very hungry little boy. I also told him that he can request food and I will decide if it is possible to accommodate his wishes.  I followed it up by telling him that from here on out that he will be having more chores to do including organizing his own toys.  And I see dishes in his future too. 

As for Nick.  He may be spending some more time in his room if he needs to scream so much.  I refuse to listen to it anymore.

Parent-Teacher Meeting

Today was the quarterly meeting with Lucas's teacher.  He is doing fantastic.  He is making all sorts of progress in all the areas we targeted in his Individual Education Plan (IEP). 

I discussed with the teacher my concerns over Lucas not knowing the alphabet yet.  I just can't get him interested or focused on the stinkin' letters.  In fact I tried to sit with him while he colored a page in a preschool workbook (color all the squares blue, color all the circles yellow etc) and instead of coloring he only focused on dismantling and reassembling all the pens.

Anyway . . . the teacher reassured me that he was right in the middle of the heap as far as the alphabet and numbers goes and that I had no reason to worry.  She told me to not pressure him, and that he will learn it all in kindergarten.  All they care about in kindergarten is that the kids can recognize their name in writing and can count to ten when they arrive on the first day for kindergarten.

I was SHOCKED.  I had heard that the kids had to know all the letters AND the sounds that those letters made.  NOPE.  Apparently not.  That is what they will know on the last day of kindergarten.  And the helper lady in the class whose middle child is currently in kindergarten reiterated what the teacher had told me.  SO.  Pressure is OFF.  Whew.  We will just keep learning at a nice comfortable pace and not feel pressured to "be ready" for the big bad kindergarten. 

The teacher went on to tell me that some kids arrive for kindergarten already knowing all the letters/sounds/numbers/trigonometry/organic chemistry 426 - and some have had no exposure to them at all.  So the teachers all see kindergarten as the big equalizer because some kids are reviewing and others are learning for the first time but by the end of it all they are at about the same level!!! Not such good news for the "special super duper smart" kids but great news for all of the "middle of the pack" kids! 

Hey don't knock the middle of the pack.  I was the middle of the pack and found it to be very comfortable.  Still do. 

Let those over achievers have all the pressure to keep being the smartest and the bestest (haha)!!  We middle of the pack people will cheer those over achievers on while sipping our sangria and yelling at the dog to stop humping the arm of our recliner.

Chemical Idiot

I smelled burning plastic. Great. Last F-ing thing I need is an electrical fire. I wandered around the dining/kitchen area and kept smelling it. I pulled the refrigerator out all by myself and smelled behind that - nothing. I got down on my knees and smelled around the dishwasher - nothing. I stuck my nose up to every outlet in the area - nothing. Still it was a melting plastic smell and it was making me panic just a little bit. I contemplated calling the Fire Department but decided to take the garbage out first and tidy up a bit so that they wouldn't think we lived like pigs.

How big of an emergency could it really be if I was cleaning up before calling?  So I scratched the 911 idea and began sniffing around some more.  This went on from 7am to 9:30am BTW. 

I felt like a hound dog on my knees sniffing everything.
Still a chemical plastic-y smell. The boys helped too. We smelled the carpet, and the refrigerator again. We smelled the drain in the sink and the garbage disposal under our sink. I smelled my coffee maker and the oven and stove - nothing.  The Fire Dept was looking better and better.

Then I saw the culprit sitting on the counter:


















This is now located in the garage where it hopefully won't give us cancer.  And I'm about two seconds away from deciding it really needs to be in the garbage can.

 

How many idiots do you know that almost call 911 on a Sharpie marker?

Whole Lotta Photos for Grandparents

Nick wears AJ's hat to hide from the sun

After the horrible sun incident that began with screaming and ended with Nick wearing AJ's hat.



Lucas came out of my bedroom wearing my jacket.  He asked me to help him zip up and to "find my hands".  So cute!  He also wanted his picture taken!!



Nick really likes the water. . . until he gets cold.



Nick was practicing putting his head under water, but he only got this far and then he'd stand up.

 



Lucas is the one up front smiling.  HE LOVES SWIMMING!

 



Lucas is getting so good at putting his head under water!

 



There was some sort of skirmish between Nick and the orange noodle wielding child.  Pretty funny when two 2 year olds start beating each other with swim noodles!!



This is the infamous frog slide.  The one Lucas pushed the baby down.  He is getting better but notice that the little girl up front is running to get out of his way? 



Racing to get back to the line so he can do it again!  Fun fun!

Dear Diary,

The heater stopped working last night.  My phone keeps randomly shutting off and loosing a signal.  Tech support can't help me unless I call them from a different line. . . which I don't have available at the moment.  The house was 60 degrees at 9 am.  I texted AJ and he scheduled an appointment for Thursday for the heat guy.

I lit the fireplace pilot light and fired that thing up . . . it isn't as good as an actual wood burning fireplace but it will help.  With the fireplace and the sun shinning outside we are at 67 degrees now.  Hopefully if I keep the fire going all day and night we won't freeze to death tonight (26 degrees forecasted).

Which reminds me.  We need to hurry up and winterize our irrigation system today.  SHIT.  These freezing temps just snuck up on us this year.  Last week our lows were in the 50's so we thought we'd have time.   AJ winterized the trailer last night, he had to wear a snow jacket and hat with gloves to go out in the 50-60 mph gusts in the frigid cold.  That was fun for him. 

In other news. . . . I found and ate a slice of an amazing BBQ pizza today.  OMG.  That pizza made the whole heating and phone difficulties a little better for me. 

I also have a HUGE chocolate cake with some awesome chocolate frosting I made yesterday.  I NEEDED SOME F-ING CHOCOLATE after discovering one of the boys shut off my crockpot, with dinner in it, at some point late yesterday morning (I didn't discover until 4:00 pm) leaving a partially cooked and now luke warm piece of meat sitting in the broth for hours. It didn't make sense to get upset about it (what's done is done) so instead of focusing on finding a new dinner I made a chocolate cake.  It rocked.  I fed the boys a LOAD of chocolate icing and then nuked some chicken patties for chicken burgers. 

So I will just stress eat my way through the week - a completely healthy way of dealing with things (kidding). 

I'm also taking on crafty projects around the house so I will have to photograph and share those later. 

Rough Morning

You know you're having a rough morning when you pull out two shoes and sit down to put them on and realize that you've done this:














Yeah. That pretty much sums it up.

TWO FUNNY

Vibes and Museums - Who Cares?





Everyone wants a piece of the sunshine.  It has been cooler here.  Heavy sweatshirt kind of weather. 

Not much else going on.  We took the kids to the Children's Museum in Santa Fe again.  It is a great little place that has a really low key, relaxed vibe to it.  The children are free to explore and learn and create in a non-structured way.  The other families there had a very "Santa Fe" feel to them.  As I looked around everyone had the (insert soft, airy tone) "children need to be free to explore and discover and create at their own pace" mentality which I also believe in. It was pretty funny to see other people with the hippy-dippy (again with the soft, airy voice) "my gifted child just created a masterpiece out of a toilet paper roll, a torn map and a bucket of paste" mentality.  YES I'm a stereo typing bitch, so sue me.  But we were there too. . . so. . . .

The Children's Museum has a very different feel to it than the Explora museum we go to in Albuquerque.  The Explora environment is less free-flowing and more of a (insert stern intense voice) "We have to cram valuable science information into our children's brains because they need to be smarter than the other kids God damn it!" vibe to it.  It isn't the museum's fault, but the visitors seem to be more intense and frantic.  Yes, frantic.  I still like Explora but it is good to have options.

So.  Now that I'm done criticizing everyone and their parenting styles. . . because I'm so perfect and all. . . I will let you resume your internet surfing.  Ciao!!

Shut Up You'd Do It Too

A little powder anyone?



Lookin' Good Little Man




Ahhhh.  He looks like an old lady with over done eyebrows.  So cute!!




Holy EYELASHES Batman!!

Today was pretty difficult.  For whatever reason we are all really tired and irritable.  The grocery store today was a freakin' nightmare.  Nick likes to ride on the side of the cart- hanging off like an old school garbage man.  The carts at the market are small and tip easily. . . . and Nick thinks the possibility of tipping the cart is exciting and fun. 

The store was filled with Moms with their young children, and Old PEOPLE who hate children and made it clear with loud sighs and overly dramatic glances at the Mom's.  Grrr.  I was doing the absolute best job that I possibly could, people!!!  I'm sorry that Nick took a bite out of the celery in the produce section.  I purchased the celery  OK???  And, yes, Lucas was not paying attention and kept getting in your way. . . again, so sorry.  And the greenbeans.  I didn't see everything that went down with the greenbeans but - again.  So sorry.

The bathroom situation there was not much better.  Today must've been potty training day at the grocery store because there were three of us in there with seven children, three of which were in diapers and insisted on peeing in the toilet like the other kids.  It was a freaking nightmare.

The lady in the stall next to me was living a parallel life to mine.  We both were trying to make our diapered but not yet potty trained kids happy by allowing them to "try".  Chaos ensued in her stall when the other child flushed the toilet early and the diapered kid FREAKED OUT.  Suddenly something hit the stall wall and a diaper hit the floor and I don't know what else was going on in there. . . but not good.  I was going through a similar situation in my stall only our problem was whether the stall door was to be open, or closed. 

In the midst of this an old lady came in and went into the fourth stall after dramatically pausing at the entry door and openly debating whether or not she really had to go that bad. . . is it worth it or not???  Should I come into this mess, or not??  Hmmmm?

Next up: hand washing.  How to wash hands with those automatic sinks and long sleeves and  . . . .ooooh interesting things in the drain on the floor, and ooooohhhh what is that?  Is that the old lady's feet under the stall??  "Mommy is she pooping??"  "Mommy? What is that NOISE in there?"

OH.  DEAR.  GOD. 

Hand washing is not worth this when I have sanitizer in my purse.  GET OFF THE FLOOR.  NO she isn't pooping and stop touching the inside of the garbage can!!!!! 

The day progressed with hysterical crying because he didn't get to buckle himself.  Topped off by an episode of the other one refusing to eat the sandwich because it wasn't what he asked for.  Does it matter which one is "he"?  Nope.  Sure doesn't.

So yes.  I put old lady make up on my boys because I needed a laugh.  I double dog dare you to make fun.  I wrestled a half naked two year old off a public restroom floor and back into a used-but-not-too-dirty diaper today.  Bring it on!!

I Just Can't Help Myself

I don't expect you all to agree with me on this but I just can't hold this in:

I just read this:  http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2010/10/19/odonnell-gets-coons-for-constitutional-law-101/

Normally I figure that journalists skew things - especially nowadays - so I don't give too much credit to news stories.  What really got my attention was watching the video.  This woman truly didn't know what the First Amendment says. 

I'll be honest:  my stomach just turned a little bit.  It scares the shit out of me that a candidate for US Senate doesn't appear to have read or even be familiar with The Bill of Rights. I'm not claiming to be a political whiz or know-it-all but COME ON!!!!!

It's the BILL OF RIGHTS.  I'll just keep yelling. . . . because IT'S THE BILL OF RIGHTS!!!!!

COME ON!!!!

(I'll be yelling throughout the day, seemingly out of nowhere, each time I think of this woman. . . because I can't help myself.)

come.
freakin'. 
on.   

I can't WAIT to see what Jon Stewart says about THIS one.

More Excitement at the Botanic Gardens

A $2000 steam powered mini locomotive.  That price is BEFORE the remote control features were added which upped the investment to around $3000. Pretty impressive.  It is run off of Butane for the boiler (yes an actual boiler) which produces the steam to make it all work.



Here is a picture of the locomotive with a glove so you can get a feel for the size.  I did not get a picture of the entire track but there were several of these things choo choo-ing around the track.  It is really exciting to see how enthusiastic the train club members are about these things.  Their enthusiasm is contagious. 




There are still some flowers around




The change is coming. . . . the yellows and oranges are here



 

More color - I like the calico ones.




The boys were looking at one of the many bee hives.  There were bees all over the place and no one was harmed or needlessly scared.   I was proud that my kids haven't been taught to run in fear from such an interesting animal.  Yeah that's right, I'll stand on my soap box about this subject once again.  You can't teach kids to value and understand something they are also taught to blindly fear.  Annnd I'm off the soap box.



Oooooo goats.  Goats like scratching behind the ears just like dogs.  Errrrrrrr yeah right there, don't stop, keep scrattttchhhhing.  When I worked on the goat ranch they all figured out that I was a softie for a cute goat and they harassed me to scratch them all the time.