Don't Mess with Mama

Dear Mother F*@#%ing Spider,

You might remember a few years back, pre-children, I liked you and your relatives. I was not too concerned about you visiting me and my husband in our home uninvited. As you recall I would say hello to you and then gently carry you outside to an area where I thought you would have the most success with your hunting. I didn't own any insecticides and was by all definitions a tree hugger (aka spider hugger). My views of you and your relatives remained unchanged despite a terrible bite from an immature male Apache recluse spider which landed me in the hospital. I forgave everyone involved and continued to be fascinated with your kind and photographed you regularly.

Today dear Spider you crossed the line. Taking up RESIDENCE in my baby's room right by his crib. . . well that is just a little too presumptuous. And then after I politely asked you to get into a safe container so I could transport you outside you had the guts to show me your red belly! What an insult!! And I'll just say it: What a bitch.



So dear Spider I'd like to introduce you to death. Death meet the Mother F*@#%ing Spider, AKA: your newest target.

Spider I recognize that you have evolved into quite a powerful little animal in the millions of years it has taken you to arrive at your present form. You have a wonderfully solid exoskeleton which is very difficult to penetrate. You have venom which allows you to incapacitate your prey and anybody who decides to mess with you. You have an incredibly powerful web, which us humans have yet to be able to compete with.

But there is one thing I have that you don't have. I have the magnificent Chemical Engineers at Dow Agro. And as a result of their hard work this vulnerable human with my soft, easy to penetrate skin now possess chemicals. No longer do I need to flail blindly at you with a wad of towels trying to kill you, and I don't need to try to step on you either. Nope. I can stand far away and spray you. And I did. Tell your friends that the rules have changed. Living with my children is not an option and is punishable by death.

Annnnd We're Back to the Crib

Nick has been in his crib screaming for one hour and 10 minutes. I have gone in and tried to comfort him but he refuses. He is just pissed off and by God the world needs to know all about it. I can't keep chasing him around the house trying to keep him in his big boy bed, he is exhausted and needs sleep. The crib is unacceptable to him. He wants to sleep in Mommy's arms and that is ALL that he wants. I have important shit to do such as running to the bathroom every 15 minutes because I ate something baaaad, very bad. So I can't hold him as much as I'd like to cave in right now, I just can't. So I keep going in, hugging him and trying to lay him back down and he just keeps crying. Why can't this kid just sleep like all other kids on the planet? He has always been sooooo difficult when it comes to the sleep thing. AHHHHHH. I hate this parenting thing sometimes. This is so hard.

Ongoing Projects

This weekend we attempted to tackle some projects that have been hanging over our heads. And as usual we didn't finish any of them. But at least we made a dent. I think the most important thing that was accomplished is that I actually got some laundry folded. Usually we dig through a pile of clean clothes.

Here is a picture of the newly painted fireplace. What you don't see are all the areas that need touching up and the unfinished side of the fireplace. However, I really like this color. The color on the wall to the left is a very muted green. The two colors look really good together - I think.


The boys were working with Dad sanding the "new" dining table. I made them wear masks so they wouldn't inhale all those nasty particles.



Here is the table after it has been stained with one coat of varnish. It will need to be sanded and varnished several more times. I want a really thick varnish so that the kids will have a harder time destroying the table. Also we have to paint the legs white. The chairs still need to be hand sanded, stained and varnished and in places painted. Lots of work for a single table. I suppose by this time next year it might be done.


This is my bathroom. It has looked like this for three months now. Tonight is the night I try to finish the painting in there.


Here are the boys in my tub. Apparently Mom's tub is better than their tub and they insist that this is where they want to bathe now.


"I have a Roman nose. . ."

So Thankful

A friend of mine lost her mother, about 2 hours ago. She is 8 months pregnant and has a 18 month old little girl. I can't imagine the huge hole that will now be in her life. Can you imagine never seeing your mother hold your little baby? Or never seeing her get to know her grand children? I just can't imagine. Who does she call for the maternal wisdom that we all need when raising children? I constantly turn to my mom for advice. I don't know what I'd do without my mom.

They're baaaack

The balloonists. Everywhere you go each morning there they are and there is no avoiding them. And today I nearly crashed because of them. It was my own fault. Driving, taking pictures, and balloon watching don't go together. It is hard not to watch them though because they are so neat. But the annual balloon festival marks my escape from hell in southeastern New Mexico. One year ago I arrived up here and was amazed at all the places to go and things to do and I'm happy to report that I still feel much as I did one year ago. I am still amazed that I can go to the farmers market and LOAD UP on beautiful fruits and veggies while paying half the price I would have paid for crappy produce in C-bad. I admit that I get a little ruffled when some of the moms in my mommy group don't fully appreciate this area and all that it offers. I just want to yell at them that they have NO IDEA what it is like out there!!! Soak it up! Enjoy! But I can't do that without sounding crazy. But truly each and every day I am thankful that we are where we are. The kids are happy, AJ loves his job and I'm slowly developing a support group of friends here in the neighborhood which feels good.

A chase vehicle (just look at the sticker on the side of it)

This balloon landed in the neighborhood it is hovering over. I don't know how they decide where to land.

There are at least 4 balloons in the bottom picture. . . they are everywhere.

Here are the kids playing with some new items that were sent to them by some family. They were so excited. And by the way, this picture was taken at about 10:00am and note that they are still in their PJ's. No one wanted to get dressed and I didn't feel like fighting about it.

One IEP and One IFSP

So both of my kids have a speech issue of one sort or another. Today Nick was evaluated and determined to be speaking at a 10-13 month old level (he's 16.28 months old - yes they calculate it all out). He should have a vocabulary of at least 6 words and he has 3 words. This doesn't seem like a big difference to me but the developmental specialist said it is more than just number of words it is how he applies words and sounds. Huh? Also he should be way past babbling and into gibberish and he is still babbling. I am not upset or in the least concerned about any of this. Lucas was far worse off than Nick is at this age and look how far he has come. But it did strike me the other day when I was at a function with my Mom's group and heard a boy the exact age of Nick gibbering away. I realized that I had never heard sounds like that come from either of my children and that THIS is what gibberish sounds like. And yes it is bad to compare children to each other but I never claimed to be perfect.

So next we get to build an IFSP (Individual Family Service Plan) which was really an intimidating mound of paperwork when we did it for Lucas. Now that Lucas has hit the ripe old age of three and still requires services (which he now receives from the school district) he has moved on from the IFSP, which is only for children 0-3 years old who are not enrolled with the school district, to an IEP (Individualized Education Program) which is another intimidating pile of paperwork. An entire team of people (I'm considered a "team" member) are assembled (a federal mandate) to write this document- it is really amazing how much work goes into just one of these things and when you look at how many children require them it is no wonder the schools are having financial difficulties. The IEP is reevaluated at preset intervals to assess the progress the child has made and effectiveness of the current IEP. Is your brain scrambled yet? Well I hate to tell you this but I have only just begun to explain this stuff. . . but I'll stop here.

On a positive note, Nick is out of his crib and into a big boy bed. Again - this is not at our insistence but at his insistence. I liked him in a crib because he was contained. However, he slept on a big boy bed this entire vacation and never once had a problem so when we got home he REFUSED (and I can't emphasize it enough how adamantly he refused) to go into his crib. It was as if the whole damned world had come crashing down around him and he was the last lonely soul on this planet. And then he made several (very nearly successful) attempts at getting out of the crib just to demonstrate in all his fury what a terrible, terrible mistake we had made.

So we put a box spring and mattress in his room without a bed frame and now he is asleep on that. He seems quite happy to be a big boy just like his brother. The bed is low enough to the ground that he can safely get into and out of the bed without assistance and if he falls out it will be far less serious than when he crashes off of the couch. Although he keeps getting out of bed to come see what we are up to out here. So we keep getting up and putting him back into bed, patiently over and over again until he gets the hang of this. It is better than the screams of intense fury that come from the room when we dare to place him into The Baby Crib because clearly he feels he is NOT a baby anymore!

The Vacation of '09

Yes it deserves a title like that because there was a day in the middle of my fabulous vacation that I am NEVER going to forget - and not for a good reason, but I'll get to that later. Are you ready? This is a long one. Here we go.

We had a great time. We arrived in Sacramento and met up with AJ's sister and his Mom. We promptly went to eat where I got these great pictures of my nieces.

Marissa is 2 years old and REALLY excited to show off her teeth

Lucas with his Momma waiting for some grub

Kylie, Kaydence and Marissa

soooooo cute!

They are the sweetest girls. And I'm not just saying that because they are my nieces. They are so good to my boys and so patient with them. They never seem to get frustrated with them and they always share and look out for my boys. They are great kids.

We got out to Great Grandma's house where we had a big yummy family dinner and as we were about to eat. . . the power went out. So we spent several hours trying to figure out why there was power to the TV but not to the pump for the well. It was a mess, but as it turned out there was a downed power line somewhere. It was a mess. AJ and I collapsed into bed early after getting the kids to sleep. It had been a long day.

The next day we had family photos planned. I hate family photos. I really don't like them, but I endure them because they are a big deal with AJ's family. I know that years from now I will appreciate them, but in the moment I am grumpy. And the moment photos are over I am excited to see how they turned out. . . so I am apparently not consistent on how I feel about this matter. Here are photos of the kids before and after the pictures. It was close to 102 that day and we were outside for pictures so I bribed Lucas (and myself) with ice cream if we could get through pictures without a meltdown.

Lucas found a pipe and a stick to play with - so he's good for the next 5 hours

Nick crashed after a big morning

Kaydence holding Lucas's hand and walking him up past the barns and pond so that he stays away from the horses and the water (both of which are dangerous she informed me).

The next day we left early and drove up to Lassen National Park. I remember when my sister in law got portable DVD players for her kids and we gave her such a hard time about it. "HOW COULD YOU??" we demanded to know. Well now I know how she could. It was the BEST thing that happened to us that day. A DVD to keep the kids quiet in the car. It is like a shinning beam from the heavens shone down onto us and made the 4 hour drive tolerable and at times. . . *gasp* pleasant!!!


Some people might see zoned out kids - but I see a peaceful drive.

My parents decided to come down to Lassen and join us there (where AJ and I first met 10 years ago). We wanted to go back and spend some time in a park that we have such fond memories of. My folks were there waiting for us and they came fully stocked with food and toys for the kids and they fed us dinner and breakfast every day for FOUR DAYS. They babysat our kids so AJ and I could drive through the park just the two of us. This is how I spent the next few days. . . in total bliss.

Do you see this picture? This is me with my emerging beer gut (note the beer) with my dirty jeans and shoes elevated in an extremely comfortable reclining camp chair. There was a red tailed hawk that was circling and landing in the trees around us all afternoon. And I just sat there. Watching it. All afternoon.


Brokeoff Mountain


Crags (view from the campsite). If you aren't even slightly jealous yet than you are soooo not my type.


And this is a tree. One of many that was dropping cones. All the fuzzy wuzzys were out very busily collecting all the seeds they could carry and store. There were golden mantled ground squirrels with cheek pouches so heavy it is truly a miracle they could move not to mention fit into their little holes. And holes. There were fuzzy wuzzy holes everywhere. Everyone felt winter approaching and everyone was really busy preparing. It was apparent that us humans were just in the way. They were so busy they just ignored us (or in some cases rudely yelled at us) if we got close.

Seeds!!! Everywhere.

Naked pine cones!! Everywhere.

And the fuzzy wuzzy's sure knew what they were doing because the first snow of the season fell on us while we were up there. It didn't last long but it got pretty darn cold at night. Good thing AJ's wonderful, thoughtful brother in law offered to let us borrow their trailer for our trip. We were really happy that for once we weren't one of the "poor suckers" stuck in a tent during 27 degree weather. All the tenters glared at us the next morning (just as I would have done if I were in their frozen shoes) probably because we had clean clothes and hot cocoa and . . . socks that weren't frozen to our feet.


And then we left. And this is what happened.

And then after this happened, we discovered that we didn't have a spare tire that fit onto the trailer. So then after a long drive into the next town down the interstate that carried trailer tires and trailer rims this happened.

We finally got the AAA guys back out to help us lift the trailer up after ANOTHER 1.5 hour wait and were on the road once again. After all this drama went down I (hereafter known as the "crappy navigator") chose the wrong freaking road to take us to Point Reyes National Seashore. Oh yes that is right. We went up Highway 1 from Stintson Beach with a 30+ foot trailer towed behind a ginormous Ford Excursion. It's alright. Go ahead and call me a complete freaking dumb ass because on that drive (hereafter known as the drive of "certain death") I called myself far worse names.

This is not a road for someone who has anxiety problems (read: me). And with every single hairpin turn AJ had to inch into the oncoming lane just to make it around the turns. It was truly horrible. Even my normally calm husband was unusually quiet and focused. The Crappy Navigator on the other hand clutched onto the Tom Tom GPS that helped get us into this mess and tried to distract myself by announcing frequently exactly how many more miles we had left on the drive of certain death. AJ on the other hand did not appreciate my nervous chatter as he was trying to concentrate on not running his entire family off of a cliff. There weren't even guard rails to offer a false sense of security. It was 26 miles in the hot seat of hell - and it was a sllloooowww drive. On a side note the Crappy Navigator accidentally flipped on the seat warmer to the chair in one of my dramatic moves to clutch onto something . . . anything, while going around a turn. My butt was ON FIRE and I truly thought that this was just what impending death felt like. I had no idea that the seat warmer was on.
It may not look like a bad road from the pictures but if you have ever driven a trailer you will notice that the critical shoulders on the side of the road are missing and that there are scary things at every turn like HUGE rock walls and cliffs and trees that you really shouldn't crash your trailer into on a 90 degree turn on a 9% down hill grade.

When we arrived in the campground we all collapsed. The Crappy Navigator felt an odd need to throw up but also to kiss the ground. The wedding we were there to attend was beautiful and we had a really good time. I am so glad we were alive to attend. (Dramaaaa Queeeenn). After the wedding Lucas came home and put on some eyebrow pencil while AJ and I weren't looking. He was so proud of himself and we told him he looked really good - and he did.





We returned to Great Grandma's house for more family photos. WHOO HOOO!! This time with a different cast of players than the previous weekend. The kids had fun feeding geese with AJ's Uncle Lucky. And Uncle Lucky had a really good time teaching the kids how to feed geese.


The kids had fun playing with eachother again.


We packed up and headed to the airport early in the morning (4 am). This pretty much sums up how tired we all are: