I'm still alive

I haven't downloaded pictures from my camera in awhile so here are some scraps from the vacation:

This is a pig head just chillin' on the sidewalk. Nice.


I took this picture to remind me to tell you about poor AJ. This is the day we got off the ship. The night before we disembarked they collected all the baggage so that they could have it off loaded and ready to go once we were in port. You are supposed to pack a small bag of clothes and toiletries to get you through the night and morning. Well I forgot to set aside underwear and socks for my poor husband. He asked me several times if I did and I assured him that I had his underclothes but . . . as it turned out I did not. So AJ had to cruise around without socks or underwear. I felt so bad too. (note in the pic that he doesn't have socks on)


All is going well here. I am still not in the Christmas spirit. In fact I am rather irritable and grumpy. Part of it is the weather. It is gray and cloudy out.

Why do I keep wanting to spell the color GRAY as "Grey"? Is there something else spelled grey?

The kids are behaving terribly. I don't know what to make of it. They are bouncing off the walls, screaming, throwing things, jumping. . . you name it they are doing it. At dinner I can't keep either one of them in their seats. My frustration is mounting because I literally can't turn around without someone doing something unacceptable. To save my sanity I must keep them busy ALL THE TIME. I think rain, shine, or snow I'm going to bundle them up and throw them outside for a while tomorrow. Because I can't entertain all the time. Mommy needs to sit down and pay bills and so far I haven't had a chance to do this because I have two little people that want to help and that means they color on my checks and bills with their own pens. . . which isn't good.

I was beginning to feel pretty inadequate today until I went to a potluck with my Mom's group. Talking to them made me feel adequate again. They are all frazzled and no one has their act together. Every one of the ladies were annoyed with someone in their family. Everyone was tired of baking cookies, tired of yelling at kids to stay away from the tree and tired of wrapping presents. Ahhh the holidays. So at least I know I'm not alone in my holiday grumpiness.

The "I Almost Crapped My Pants" Day

Belize. Known by most for it's outstanding natural preserves which hold unbelievable animal and plant diversity. Known by me as the place we nearly died multiple, multiple times at the hands of terrifyingly unconcerned drivers.

The ship had to anchor off of the shore a good mile or so and we took small boats to shore. I think that living with a person who works in safety has rubbed off on me in a not-so-good way. I kept looking around for life jackets on this small boat that was literally PACKED full of people. They kept telling us to squish together more so more people could fit onto the boat. There were no life jackets. And the fire extinguisher was rusted. The boat helpers were like TWELVE years old so they would have been useless in an emergency. You can blame AJ for my obsession with life jackets. Here are some pictures so you can see for yourself what a freaky panic-y person I am:




Do you see a life jacket?? I don't EITHER!! AHHHH!!

Like sweaty uncomfortable sardines. . .

The twelve year old showing off while the boat went full speed toward land.


Then we transferred onto a bus. It was a very old bus and the air conditioning wasn't functioning at all. It was at least 85 degrees out and 99% humidity. We got to stay on the bus for 1.5 hours. We were on our way to a newly discovered archaeological site that was supposed to be amazing. It is 32 square MILES in size and is only just beginning to be excavated. So exciting!! I didn't really care about the AC not working because we were headed into the jungle baby, just like Indiana Jones!! Did I mention that I took a LOT of anthropology and archaeology classes? That might explain my interest in Archaeology a little bit.

The problem I had was the driver. He scared the crap out of me. He kept running the tires on the bus off the edge of the road at incredibly fast speeds (at least 55 mph or more). Each time he did it we were on a curve in the road and were passing someone. It really stressed me out. Badly.

AJ and other passengers dealt with the terror by trying to sleep. Sleeping did not work for me.


The freaky bus driver.


We arrived at a dock on the side of this rural country road. From this point we boarded a patio boat with seats and headed another 1.5 hours up the New River. We saw all sorts of wildlife and we finally had a competent and nice driver!! Here are some pics:

Spider Monkey


We passed a Mennonite compound. The guide told us they were so isolated out here on the river that they began to have "genetic problems" from cousins marrying cousins. We saw several members of this group selling peanuts on the side of the road and several more members were fishing along the river. It was really funny because after the guide told us about them we saw some Mennonites fishing and we all busted out our cameras and took pictures. I was no exception. I stood up with the rest of the passengers to get a real honest to God photograph of a real live Mennonite!! Success!! (Yes I realize that I see Mennonites all around New Mexico, but the whole group mentality took over - when one person does it we all had to do it. Mooooooo. I'm one of the herd I guess.)

Part of the Mennonite compound

Psst!! There they are! The most elusive creature of them all!!! (I'm making fun of myself for taking the picture of these nice people in case you can't tell.)


We finally arrived at the site. Half of our group was unable to walk the 1.5 mile uneven trail to see the different areas. So they all sat in the shade at the "food hut". See how out of breath they all are? We walked 50 feet from the boat and I took this picture. They all busted out the water and . . . eye drops? Anyway. It was weird that they paid all this money for this tour and knew what the physical requirements were.


This is the first temple we came to. It was also the smallest one we saw. They were actively excavating it (lower left side behind the yellow tape) when we walked up. All the workers stopped for the tourists.


This is a large face on the side of the temple, an identical one is on the opposite side. They are going to remove this face from the temple to protect it from the elements. It is composed of limestone and with the frequent rains it won't hold up well unless it is reburied. . . which isn't going to happen. An identical one will be put in it's place for tourists.


This is a drawing of the face and the area around it. The measurements that they record are as you can imagine very detailed.


Sing it with me now: In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps toniggghhht


One of three really large temples.


The tourists (and I confess, us too) were more interested in the howler monkeys in the tree than the temple. We had just emerged from the jungle when the monkeys caught our attention, so no one had really even glanced at the temple when I took this photo. I thought it was really funny that everyone was facing the wrong way.


This is one of many attempts to get the temple behind us but not the sun glare in the picture.


My "Coke Light" had some health advice for me. I think I'll take the advice.


This little building is the "Immigration Office" back at port.


The bus ride back was even more terrifying that the one there. But I survived and my underwear was remarkably unsoiled.

Just a Little Detour

When we returned to our cabin from Costa Maya Captain Hoit came on the speakers and informed the entire ship that we were no longer headed to Guatemala due to a local political issue involving bus travel. Apparently the bus driver population was on strike and no buses = no excursions which = unhappy cruise passengers. So we were being diverted to the island of Rotan, Honduras. People on board were not happy about the change of plans - many people were really looking forward to Guatemala, but we didn't care where we went as long as it was an interesting location. We later heard that two weeks prior to our cruise a passenger off of our same ship was shot and killed in Guatemala. So our attitudes changed from indifference to relief that we were on our way to politically stable Honduras. Wait. Never mind. Honduras isn't stable either - but no one off of our ship had recently been killed there so we were gonna take what we could get.

The excursion options were more limited than before but we found a good one - it was a tour of the island with stops including a boat ride through the protected mangroves, a cultural dance and some local cuisine tasting.



Some of the scenery from one of our stops is below. The island is so small that our guide stopped at all of her friends' roadside stands so we could "shop". There was only mass produced touristy crap for sale so we felt awkward not buying stuff while we stood around doing nothing . . . waiting to get back into the van and proceed with the tour. I kept saying to the vendors who were calling to me to see their junk "ohhh yes that is very nice."


Here is a "pet" monkey kept on a rope in the backyard of the dude (another friend) who took us in the boat through the mangroves. Sad. I dreaded seeing stuff like this. She climbed my leg and wouldn't let go. I just wanted to monkeynap her and put her with other monkeys she could socialize with. She must feel so isolated.


Here are the mangroves. It was pretty cool to see all this. We were told all about how they protect the island from tidal waves and hurricanes. I was glad we were able to see them.


Here we are sitting on another bench trying to avoid the vendors. There was a starving dog wandering around that I wanted to dognap and transport back to my house. I don't think she would have made it through customs though.


Next we went to another location to watch a cultural dance. It was a really cool dance and the whole time I watched it I was thinking that I would NEVER be able to giggle my hips like the women were doing. And then one of the dancing women FORCED me to stand up and attempt the dance in front of everyone. Guess what? I looked pretty "special" asking my hips to wiggle and giggle when they had never been asked to do anything like it before. Somehow my boobs managed to wiggle and giggle more than my hips which was even more embarrassing. And no I will not post a picture.

Here is a member of our tour helping his wife up 5 steps. You see this? Below? This has inspired me to shop for a jogging stroller and I'm not even messing around. I have got to get in shape because the 50% morbid obesity rate I observed on the ship scared the hotdog and coke desires right out of me.


This lady served us food and AJ found a very fuzzy wuzzy friend. Again, I almost folded this sweet baby up and stuffed her in my luggage. I'll be the "Angelina Jolie" of the animal kingdom (except I actually eat food, not just air like Ms. Jolie).


We returned to our room and found an awesome lobster made from a bath towel. Our room steward left it for us on the bed. I was so excited! AJ and I practiced making the lobster for a half hour after we found this.

A Lost Day at Sea and Costa Maya

Day Two - at sea all day. I took the maximum dose of Dramamine and slept the entire day. Seriously. The entire day - gone. I have no memory. If I had bothered to read the side effects I wouldn't have been completely shocked and surprised that I slept the entire day away. For the duration of the trip I only took one Dramamine and managed to stay awake. I do vaguely remember AJ coming and going from our room a lot. He was running around the ship entering every contest and giveaway they had. He was filling out coupons and playing BINGO and attending seminars so he could get another piece of the giveaway puzzle. No, he didn't win anything. But he spent the entire day trying. He was very happily busy.

Day Three - Costa Maya, Mexico. It is a very small little town with a very touristy port full of vendors, a spectacular "party pool" with a bar you swim up to and lots of beautiful people laying around the pool on lounge chairs. I decided I was too pasty white to blend in there. Plus getting sunburned and shit faced was not on my list of "to-do's". We opted to go on an excursion where we would see interesting things like Mayan temples and really fat people on our tour struggle to walk 100 feet. . . more on that in another post.


Here we are on the comfy bus that was driven by a competent bus driver. Our guide was a local Mayan who had a masters degree in elementary education. Costa Maya recently was devastated by a hurricane and jobs are in short supply so he is a tour guide until the local school gets up and running again. He understandably had a few unfavorable things to say about Catholicism and the Conquistadors and it was interesting to get a local perspective on things.




Here is the party pool with our ship in the background.



We had a really good time watching all the really drunk sunburned people stagger down the really long pier back to the ship. A few people had to have assistance and some even had to get a ride on the obesity shuttle. We had a good day!


Our ship only served Pepsi products. I am a hardcore Diet Coke addict. Had I known this before I bought the tickets it might have been a deal breaker. I know. I'm that addicted. It is sick. But I was like a kid on Christmas morning when I was able to get my hands on a real live COKE in port!! I was so thrilled I took a picture. I was bad and got a full strength Coke.

Day one - Embarkation

First we went to New Orleans and were able to see my sister, Stella! She flew in to see us which we were very excited about. We ate some yummy Thai food and then went to a local bar and listened to some outstanding jazz. This was my fourth trip to the city and I fall in love with it a little more each time I visit. We stayed at a cute bed and breakfast that Stella recommended called the Frenchman and we enjoyed our stay.

This is a picture of me giving AJ a hard time about the calories in his drink. Stella took the photo.


This is our ship - or part of it. I only had a few opportunities to get it into one frame on the camera and this was not one of them : )


Here we are shortly after embarkation. We were exploring the ship. It had an Asian design theme running throughout and it was very beautiful.




Shortly after embarkation we got down to the serious business of eating.


More later. Gotta go fold some laundry.

OFF WE GO!!

This is our ship!!

And this is our itinerary!!

I can't freakin' wait! I have never left the country before and I am really excited to see a rain forest and to see the Caribbean and to SEE something other that what I see every day. I realize I'm going on a cruise where we will be herded like cattle from one activity to another and that is appealing to me.

I don't want to decide on where to eat or where to stay or what to do with my day. I want an experienced professional to helpfully suggest "touristy" things for me to do with my day. I don't want to use my brain on this vacation. I am tired of making decisions for myself and others - telling people what to do, what to eat, when to bathe, when to sleep, deciding when to discipline and when to ignore. No more decision making for Kristin.

So tomorrow afternoon my brain is being shut off. Hopefully the only things running through my mind will be: "ooooo look at all the pretty colors" or "mmmm this tastes good" or "She should really rethink that bikini" and even "I think I'll have the margarita this time".

I'll be back on the 15th. Ciao.

Tin Foil and Underwear

I feel like a genius. A real genuine genius. I have finally discovered a way to hold together burritos so the kids can eat them with out the burrito innards falling out and causing children to freak out because the burrito is no longer a burrito and WHY Mommy why am I not an equal anymore??? Aluminium foil. Yep. Most people would have figured this out a long time ago, but I am severely lacking in the ability to think outside the box. It took a trip to a local burrito store to make me realize what this magical metal is truly capable of doing. And living in the Southwest with an abundance of excellent tortillas and beans around I have become a burrito making Mama. You can put anything into a burrito. Leftovers? Throw it in, wrap it up and presto.

Look they are actually eating the burritos and not screaming at me to fix them and make them whole again! Harmony. Ahhh. I love the foil.


LOOK MA!! One hand!!


Also, Nick came out of Lucas' bedroom this morning looking like this:

He put on a pair of his underwear and wore them proudly out into the living room so we could all admire him for the big boy that he is. It is scary how fast the kids are growing.