Where the Doctors Are

We had a great weekend! Nothing too exciting happened, we hung out and moved from one temporary house and into another. Moving twice has added stress that I didn't really need. I do, however like the floorplan of this house better than the last one.

The search for a long term rental continues. We are looking at more homes today. If we could live in Kalispell (an hour away) it would be SO much easier to find a place. Instead we are focused on Columbia Falls, (~4500 people) because the commute would be much easier on AJ. And the longer he is commuting the less we get to see him. When you throw in pets our options are even more limited. And I'm being all picky and insisting on NOT living in a double wide, so that narrows the field even more. :-)

Today I extracted green playdough from both of Nick's nostrils. That was really a challenge. He'd been pretending that he had a green mustache, and apparently shoved part of his mustache up his nose. I squeezed his nostrils together and it squished out like toothpaste. I had visions of rushing him to the urgent care. But thankfully he blows his nose like a champ and it all came out.

Yesterday I had to rush poor Olivia to the Pet Emergency Room after she ate something in the yard. It could have been anything, but it was a fawn color and looked like mushrooms. She was foamy, and poopy, and trying but unable to pee, and she couldn't keep water down. They did blood, and her liver was inflamed, and she was dehydrated. Fluids, drugs, drugs, drugs and special food were given and she seems to be on the mend. Poor baby. I'm so glad there is a 24 hour pet ER here!

On a happy note we had some fantastic scones that I made. I used sour cream (fat free!) With cranberries and orange extract. So good!

I saw the sun briefly Thursday afternoon, and Saturday evening for about 20 minutes. I am really craving some sunlight - any sunlight would be good. The weather people keep giving us hope by saying "Partly sunny tomorrow!". The locals are grumbling because the weather people are in Missoula and don't seem to realize that our weather is different than their weather. I don't care so much about all that - I only want to see the sun.

OH NO. He did indeed.

We needed to get out of the house. It just won't stop f-ing raining. So we went to a little cafe down the road for lunch. The kids were sick of being inside and it sounded like a good idea . . . at the time.

We get seated and Nick starts screeching about wanting pizza. I convince him that a turkey sandwich is just as yummy as pizza. Then we get our food and the kids decide that it is acceptable to stand at the table and eat. It was all I could do to not knock their feet out from under them.

So. Then Nick yelled about having to poop. We abandoned poor Lucas at the table and rushed to the bathroom, only for him to pretend to poop. For what felt like five minutes. Loud, pretend grunting, occupying one of two stalls in a busy cafe. Yeah.

Back at the table Nick decides he's tired from all the "pooping". He SLID off his chair and onto the ground under the table. I wanted to disappear. People were staring. I was doing the whole grit-your-teeth-and-speak-slowly thing.

Back on top of the table, we received the check because it must have been obvious that we needed to leave.

I drag Nick up to the checker to pay. He stood there looking like an angel. Then as I signed my name I heard an old lady gasp. I looked down at Nick who was being too quiet, and saw him extend his entire arm up into the air with a single finger poking out. On that single finger was a huge nasty booger. Huge, you guys. I can't believe it came out of his tiny nose hole.

I gasped too and grabbed a napkin and quickly got rid of IT.

We left. Rapidly. I don't know that we will go back.

I don't care for the age of three.

(P.S. I totally forgot to tell you about Nick refusing to use his hands to eat and insisting on eating off the plate like a dog. AT THE RESTARAUNT. I, again utilized the gritted teeth. It happened somewhere between fake pooping and booger picking.)

Mission Possible

The Problem : My case of Diet Coke was in the car.  I was in the house in pajamas. (Shut it.  I know it is nearly 10:30.)

The Situation: My boobs are totally unrestrained and I really don't want to put a bra on.  We are on a busy neighborhood road that is occupied by AJ's coworkers.  I really shouldn't free-boob it out to the car, barefoot, in hot pink pajama bottoms with residual mascara smeared on my face.  It is a rough life being a housewife.

The Solution : Tell the boys they have a very important mission.  To locate, retrieve, and deliver two cold unshaken Diet Cokes.

Mission Briefing:  "Lucas.  Can you open a car door?  You can?  Good.  Now.  Here's the top secret mission.  Run quickly out to the car.  Open the door.  Climb all the way  into the very back and pull out two Cokes.  Climb back out of the car.  Close the door.  UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you shake the precious Cokes.  Can you boys do this?  GREAT.  Momma is so proud of how independent you both are.  Now run fast so you don't get too wet in the rain.  And try not to step on slugs with your bare feet . . . . ."



I think I may actually get the worst Mom of the year award. 

In my defense they were soooo excited to be given the important mission. 

Excavation

Lucas has been asking us to take him to a place where dinosaur bones are found.  He really wants to find bones in the ground.  We have not had a chance to take a road trip to fulfill his dream (almost 8 months now!) of being a dino hunter.  When I saw excavation kits in a tourist souvenir store I grabbed them.  Lucas was THRILLED.  He spent all morning carefully digging his dinosaur bones out of the "sandstone".  Really it was plaster, but I told him it was sandstone to make it more authentic.  He was SOOOOO excited to be a real paleontologist.  Nick lost interest early on and Lucas excavated Nick's Dino too. 

Bowman Lake

Today we went to the upper northwest area of the park.  It is spectacular.  There is so much exploring to be done up there.  You could spend and entire lifetime learning this park.  We drove nearly two hours north on dirt roads and still didn't get to the top of the park.  Then we drove 6 miles into the park on a very bad road (east) and I'm not kidding when I tell you that we only saw a teeny tiny fraction of this area.  It is unbelievable how many mountains are here.  They are all huge and they are all magnificent.

We didn't hike, because we had Olivia with us (dogs not allowed on trails).  But we did scope out the camp area and we talked with the nice Ranger Rachel who lives out there.  She spends the northern hemisphere winters in Antarctica. Here at Glacier she is living in a very old cabin (she took us in and showed us) that has the early 20th century stove and fireplace still intact and operating.  It has amazing log beams on the ceiling.  I wish I could have politely taken pictures.  It was one big room where everything fit into one space.  Bed, table, kitchen, wood fireplace, wardrobe.  It was very cozy and very beautiful.  If I didn't have kids I'd be fighting to live out there.  ;-)

I know.  I keep posting mountain pics.  It is hard to know if I'm just taking pics of the same mountains over and over.  So these pictures are of totally different mountains, in a totally different area.  The glacial lakes can start to look the same, but they are all so different when you are there in person. 

I'm certain that this building (the only store on a 32+ mile dirt road) is over 100 years old.  We went in a bought cookies which were very good.  It is amazing how simply and efficiently folks live and operate here. 

Our trusty bug spray is always close by.  The skeeters nearly carried Nick off, but were somewhat deterred by the spray.  We still had some determined skeeters attack, so we put on a bunch of clothing layers to make it difficult for them to get a meal.

Beautiful Lucas

Bowman Lake.  Click on the picture to enlarge it if you'd like.

Everyone was tired.  There was a monster thunder storm that moved in just as we were leaving the lake.  Olivia got scared and jumped from the back into the lap of Lucas.  She settled in the middle and fell asleep.  The storm dropped nearly an inch of hail on the ground, which looked like snow. 

Up in the Canyon

 

Did I mention that I haul my own trash now?  Yeah.  I have to load our household trash into the back of the Xterra and drive it to the dumpster.  All the residents do this.  I think I might be the only one here that feels this is strange.  Why can’t they put a single dumpster here in the housing area?  It is so normal to haul your own crap that no one bothered to tell us that we needed to take care of it ourselves.  WE are the weird ones here for questioning this system.  Ok.  Not we.  AJ is fine with it because he doesn’t do it, I do it.

What else?  OH.  All of our pants have decided to throw up their fibers and quit.  It is as if our city folk wimpy jeans have decided that they aren’t Montana material and have suddenly worn thin and died.  Lucas has gone through 4 pairs.  YES.  FOUR.  They were in fairly good shape when we arrived, but within the last 3.5 weeks they have sprouted enormous holes that can’t be fixed because all of the material is so thin suddenly.  My pants thinned out and died too.  What the hell??  We haven’t been doing anything out of the ordinary. 

I was forced - FORCED to go online and buy logger jeans for my family.  We all have Carhartt’s now.  AJ had “double fronted” jeans.  I also have a pair of pants that the manufacturer calls the “fire hose” pants.  They are made from fire hose material that is supposed to be nearly indestructible.  I discovered all this by looking around at what the “Canyon People” wear.  They dress for function and performance of clothing, not for looks.  Not for looks at all.  I shouldn’t talk. . . I’ve never been much of a fashion conscious person to begin with though.  I also got me some of ‘dem waterproof boots that go up to my knee.  I TOLD YOU I WOULD WITH WILD CRAZY POOP COLORED SLUGS AROUND . . . . out there. . . . in the woods .  .  . . blending in.

Speaking of fashion. . . . I went to the “big city” to try to find the kids some hiking-type shoes.   We went into a place with the words “ski haus” in the name.  Yeah.   It is like a rich person’s REI.  They had wicking shirts there that were priced at $125.  Uh huh.  It is a freakin’ wicking t-shirt!!!  Jesus.  AND they had matching wicking skirts, right next to the $430 rain jacket.   Anyway.  I make my way to the shoe area where they don’t have normal kid shoes.  They have those fancy kid water sandals that are $70+ a pair.  Really?  Your kid needs a $72 pair of Keen sandals?  Uh huh.  A lady wedged her B.O.B. stroller in between me and the shoe display because she had to give her  4 year old a better view of his choices. 

We left.  Shoeless.  I found name brand highly rated shoes online for 70% off retail price.  I felt much better knowing I could find everything online instead of enduring the Ski Haus again. 

The kids and I ended up at a local sporting goods store that was very rustic and reasonably priced compared to the “haus”.  They were all about the huntin’ and fishin’ in the store, which is to be expected up here in these thar parts.  Their camping section was targeting the elk hunters.  They had grills and cook stoves that were the size of kitchen tables.  These dudes up here . . . . they like their camping stuff big.  The bigger the better is the apparent motto.  It ain’t manly if it ain’t big. Please see exhibit A below.  

Yes. Your eyes aren't lying.  That is the largest fry pan on earth.  I couldn't fit my hand around the handle.  The sales lady said the hunters use it to cook entire meals - all in one pan.

In other news: do you remember that pasture I posted with all the horses in it? A visitor saw a cougar take down a mule deer and drag it off in that pasture the other day.  I’m a little jealous that they saw the whole thing, start to finish!  It would be pretty incredible to see that. 

I’m still waiting to see the sunshine.  Still. Waiting.  Damn it. 

No really.  Where the hell is the big burning ball of gas??  I haven’t seen it since last weekend.  I’m totally not kidding. 

That actually may explain why I’m so grumpy in this post, now that I think of it. 

I decided to not apply for jobs here at the park this year.  As much as I’d love a job and really want a job (to get out and feel productive!) it would add so much stress to our lives right now.  It would be very difficult to find childcare up here in the canyon.  (On a side note: I feel like I should add a dramatic DUNN DUNN DUNNNNNNN – every time I say “the canyon”.) We still need to find and move into a house.  The kids are not handling this move as well as they did the last two moves, so it would add unnecessary turmoil to their summer if we put them in daycare.  Next summer is looking much better. 

That’s it for now. I'll try to upload a video of the river next time.  My internet is still sketchy up here in The Canyon.  Dunnn dunnnn dunnnnnnnnn.

Interesting

I read this on CNN and thought it was really interesting.  Some of it I already knew, but there was quite a bit that was news to me. 

Check it out.

Fugitive Tick

We had a FANTASTIC weekend.  The sun came out for the first time all week and we had not one, but two full days of sunshine.  Temps were in the 70’s and low 80’s. Niiiice. 

I did not remember to set aside my boots for this trip so I’ve been “hiking” in old tennis shoes.  My feet are killing me.  I’m thinking of ordering new boots, and breaking them in this summer since we are only doing short hikes anyway.  That way I’ll have my nice comfy hikers and a secondary pair.  It is very wet up here so it would be nice to have another pair in case one pair gets wet.  Anyway . . . I’m just rambling here.  

I always laughed off the idea of getting kids hiking boots because their feet grow so fast, but I’m now thinking of getting the kids some too, so they can explore their new home in comfort.  Why not?  I might as well make the hikes a really good experience so that they will continue to want to explore. 

We went hiking on both days.  Alright – well . . . it wasn’t really hiking if ya know what I mean.  We did as much as we could with two little boys.  And they did a great job.  They “hiked” about 2 miles on Saturday and 1.5 miles on Sunday.  They didn’t complain and they were enthusiastic and followed directions!  Example of directions issued: “You must hold our hand over the bridge because you could fall through the railing.”  “Do not get too close to the cliff.”  “Do not chase the deer.”   It was really exciting for all of us. 

Saturday we did a short hike along McDonald creek.  We saw a lot of deer tracks on this trail, and as we’d been told, we didn’t see anyone more than a quarter mile from the trail head.  Once you got further than a quarter mile out, you were alone.  Weird.  

Algae?  I don't know what it is, but it was growing on a rock and I am super excited to research it and find out what this is.  If you know, please tell me.

The whole rock, all the spots are the things growing.

Here is a closer look at the dark spots nestled next to the lighter spots and a green spot.  WHAT IS IT?  What are those rings?  I'm so intrigued.

Another awesome view.

Then we went back to the Trail of the Cedars (AJ hadn’t yet seen it), where there is a grove of western red cedars that have not had a fire come through in 600 years.   AJ said he saw a very large slug, similar to a banana slug but this was brown.  I didn’t see it – so I can’t confirm its existence but if indeed there are banana slug sized slugs up here that actually BLEND into the ground I think I will go get me some really tall (knee high) hiking boots after all.  Damn I hate banana slugs.  When AJ was at the Redwoods we’d see those things leave slime trails that were super thick all over the place.  Yuck.  No really – I know I studied biology and all that jazz but that doesn’t mean I have to like all life forms.  I can appreciate their unique niche on the planet but I don’t have to enjoy them.

The boys threw rocks in the Avalanche Creek along the trail of the cedars.  It is so beautiful.

ANOTHER amazing peak to photograph.  They are everywhere and they are breathtaking.  I keep making AJ pull over so I can get another picture of another mountain.  Will it ever get old?  I don't think so.

We also saw our first black bear in the wild.  It wasn’t very big (I’m guessing a yearling?) but I’m not a black bear expert either.  Maybe it was a dwarf black bear.  Mayyyybe it was just a black lab.  Ha!  Kidding.  But seriously, on another day I saw two black bears on the side of the road.  They were wayyyy up ahead of me lumbering along through the tall grass.  The sun was going down and it was getting dark so I strained to get a better look as I approached.  I was sooo excited!  TWO OF THEM!!  Then when I got close enough I could see that they were two big black cows.  The tall grass hid their legs.  Damn.  So we finally did (FINALLY it’s been three whole weeks! Jeeez) see one bear, about 1/8 of a mile from our house.  When we got home I sent the kids out to play in the yard with the dog.  It’s survival of the fittest here in Montana.

Today we went hiking in an area that had a massive and hot forest fire rip through it in 2001.  The area was full of skeeters and butterflies.  We thankfully have stocked the car with bug spray and sunblock.  The trail was 0.9 miles long.  We did it 1.5 times because we had to backtrack around a massive swampy area.  This area, like most of the places I’ve been so far was littered with predator scat.  Some of the scat was pretty darn old but one pile was definitely cougar, and the rest of the piles were up for debate.  But the long and the short of it is this: there is a healthy predator population around here leaving lots of scat with animal hair mixed in.

Oh. Hey.  Guess what?  I found a tick in my hair.  Good times.  It was just running around in the strands of my hair.  Happy days for the tick.  I pulled it out and called the kids over to show them what to look for on the dog and their own bodies.  We counted the legs as it walked on my hand, and commented on the neato design on the tick’s body.  I felt all earth loving and animal loving as I gently explained how ticks work and what they do. I really should have taken a photograph for you to see.  It was crab-like with red legs and a greenish-black pattern on the back.  I would have taken a picture but instead I decided to smash the living shit out of it with my Diet Coke can.  Hey.  Don’t judge me.  At least it wasn’t a beer can.  Besides.  Part of the education was teaching the kids how to properly obliterate a tick. 

Everyone got showers and a head to toe tick check.  I took a long shower too.  During my shower I found a tick. . . . nestled in my. . . . . . waaaait fooooor iiiittt.

Wait for it.

NESTLED IN MY . . . .

Ass crack.  

Do you hear that?  Can you hear me screaming all the way up here in Montana?

Oh YES.  My ass crack was harboring a fugitive tick.  I’m not proud.  It is no good to discover that your very own ass crack is prime tick habitat.  Thankfully it was not attached to me.  I washed it’s ass crack loving self down the drain.

That kind of put a damper on my day.  Since my horrific discovery I have been unusually twitchy and jumpy.  I suspect all tickles and minor discomforts.  Is that a tick??  Did I just feel another tick???  What was that??

So much for DEET.  Those bastards at DEEP WOODS OFF are liars liars pants of fire.  Next up for testing is the dog’s Frontline “flea and tick” stuff.   You know, the stuff you put on their skin once a month and it keeps the creepy crawlies off of the pet.  In theory.  Allegedly.  I guess we shall see how well that stuff works. 

Tomorrow it will rain again and for the rest of the week.  I am really liking it up here. . . on the sunny days.  I’m hoping to become better adjusted to the dark days – and later to the dark winters.   I think the key will be to participate in winter sports . . . which I have very little experience with.  But I have the perfect excuse to learn – the boys.  They should learn to love the snow early and I will give it my best shot.    

All last week this is what it looked like.

I threw the boys in the shower to entertain them during one rainy day and left them in there for a while.  I didn't realize the hot water had run out until they both came out shivering and blue.  I bundled them up and stuck them in front of a movie.  They quickly warmed up and then I spoiled them with milk and cookies. 

We're the New Neighbors!

I was doing dishes while the kids ran around the living room this morning.  I didn't hear the door open.  I didn't hear the screen door close.  But I did hear Nick talking to someone.  I immediately walked around the corner, and saw Nick outside talking to some perfect stranger who was walking down the street on his way to work.  It must have been in the mid 30's outside.

This is what he was wearing:

  Yes.  Those are Elmo underwear, perfectly matched to his frog rain boots. 

For those who don't know; we are living in the park where AJ works while we look for a house to rent.  People driving and walking by all work at the same place that AJ does and if they don't know him yet they probably will meet him soon. 

I have NO IDEA how many people that AJ works with saw Nick out there doing God only knows what for how long.  I told AJ that people may mention the little dude in Elmo underwear stopping to talk to them on their way to work.

Funny.

Avalanche Boardwalk

We went for a short one mile hike today and had loads of fun. 

Lucas is becoming very insistent on staying in the house.  I don't know what is going on with him, but he DOES NOT want to leave the house, at all.  I try to convince him that he's going to have fun, but he still won't leave.  It was like pulling teeth to get him out of the house today.  Once we were on the trail/boardwalk he had fun, but was still very anxious.  He was afraid all the leaning trees were going to fall at any second.  Then he was worried that we would fall off the edges of the boardwalk.  He is very anxious.  I wish I knew what to do to help him.  Lucas did have fun though.  I'm hoping if I keep insisting he leave the house he will eventually realize that he will enjoy himself. 

Pee break. Nick was supervising the whole process.   We would have used toilets, but he can't wait 0.6 miles for the restroom.

Nick insisted on telling the camera that he was THREE years old now.

Lucas is pretending - right now as I type this - that he is making peanut butter and bird poop sandwiches.  I am pretending to eat them.  He was very shocked and happy when I asked for a sprinkle of earthworms on top for added flavor.  HA!  Kid imaginations are fun.

Not From Around Here

First off - it snowed again yesterday.  Second - dodging the pot holes might be an Olympic sport up here.  Third - narrow mountain roads that most states would set at a 55 mph speed limit, Montanans set at 70mph.  When you combine falling snow, 70 mph traffic and HUGE pot holes the size of truck tires it is very exciting.  I learned quickly why they don't tailgate up here, it is so that you have enough time to see and react to upcoming pot holes -and so that you don't get the road spray on your windshield.  One dude was following me closely and was unable to avoid the potholes that I was avoiding.  It was funny because you'd think he'd have backed off after the first few potholes he hit HARD, but he didn't.  So I made it a game to avoid the huge potholes at the last minute so that he couldn't follow my lead.  HA! I know.  I'm awful.  But it was his choice to follow so closely at 70 mph. . . . .

I went shopping at the small local market up here in “the canyon”.  The parking lot is the street.  I’m not joking.  As we emerged from the teeny tiny (super cute and staffed with nice people) market pushing our shopping cart down the street, Lucas hollers out to me over the rattle of the cart “Mom they really need to pave this road.”  Yeah.  They really do need to pave that road.  It would make shopping much easier.  That is how little these towns are.  It is expected that you will return the cart when you are done so that they don’t have to retrieve the cart from down the street.  500 people is a good sized community here in the canyon.  The canyon people are tough as nails.  Really. Tough. As. Nails. 

I was talking with a local and he said that the natives like the imports (people from out of the area) as long as they don’t try to change things.  They don’t appreciate all the imports demanding things in their home like updated sewage systems and plumbed in gas lines. They are perfectly happy with the septic systems and electric base board heat.  In fact electric base board heat is considered updated in many areas.  Most people here still heat with wood stoves.  I thought all of this was interesting.  I’ve never lived in an area where the primary heat source is a wood stove.  I’ve always assumed people would prefer central heat, but that is not the case up here.  In fact wood collection in these parts is in full swing for next winter.  Old pickup trucks are filled to the brim making laps into the mountains collecting LOTS of dead wood.  It seems like they are doing what the wildlife does – hurry up and restock supplies during the brief warm period so you can survive the next winter.   I am so fascinated by this.  

The kids were playing in the mud out in front of the house.  It has been raining so much that the mud is everywhere.  I noticed that the kids had dug down several inches, and the dog was eating something that looked like a clot of dirt.  Lucas pulls his hands out of the mud and tells me that his hands stink bad.  I had him come over; I smelled his hands and knew that something very wrong was on his hands.  It smelled like human waste. 

I!  Freaking!  KNOW!!  The dog was yanked into the house, the kids were stripped down and put into a bath where I scrubbed the heck out of them.  I drained the bath water again, and refilled it so I could rewash the kids with clean water – just to be sure. 

WHAT THE HELL IS IN MY FRONT YARD????? 

Is this a leach field (I don’t even know how those work) – or whatever kind of freaky redneck human waste disposal method they use up here in the woods?  Seriously.  WHAT did Lucas have his hands in, and why is it there? 

So.  I am going to be one of the “imports” that demands an updated waste disposal system that takes my shit away to the treatment facility and away from my yard.  Sorry.  I like the new-fangled sewage treatment methods of the 20^th century. 

Today we went to a local restaurant up here in the canyon.  The neon OPEN sign was illuminated and the other signs promised homemade huckleberry jam for sale inside.  We went in and were told that they weren’t serving food that day.  Today was not the burger day.  Tomorrow is the day.  Today they didn’t have supplies to make burgers.  They were planning a run down the canyon and into town to get supplies for the burgers tomorrow.   The place across the road had elk burgers though.  We had elk burgers.  Yummy.