Loud Screaming in the Background

Have you ever tried to give directions to an alarmingly lost repair man over the phone while a two year old screams (SCREEEAAMMMSSSSS) on the other side of the locked door while banging and kicking the door???

Have you ever tried to focus trying to tell a lost repair man which direction was fucking NORTH while trying to be heard over the amazingly loud screaming/banging/kicking?

Have you ever had a lost and directionally challenged repair man tell you that he can try to find your house without directions so that you can go deal with a child who refuses to allow you to talk on the phone for FIVE MINUTES????

Can you tell that I'm super pissed and am blowing off some steam on my blog??? 

Where in the hell did he get the idea that he can KICK and HIT my (MY!!!) doors in my (MY!!!) house?

And let me just ask you a few more questions.

Why did my oldest child decide that I am his maid?  He threw a sock at my feet and told (TOLD!!!) me to put it in the laundry. 

Excuse me?  I'm sorry.  That shit ain't gonna fly around here.  NO WAY.

And this morning he told me that I need to listen to him more closely because HE didn't want oatmeal for breakfast, he wanted pancakes. 

Oh it gets better.

He then told me that his preschool teacher was a better listener because she cleans and organizes all the toys he plays with.  She does things he wants her to do. 

Yep.  I'm raising a little male chauvinist.

I told him that he will eat what I cook for him or else he will be a very hungry little boy. I also told him that he can request food and I will decide if it is possible to accommodate his wishes.  I followed it up by telling him that from here on out that he will be having more chores to do including organizing his own toys.  And I see dishes in his future too. 

As for Nick.  He may be spending some more time in his room if he needs to scream so much.  I refuse to listen to it anymore.