Funny

This Guy's funny. The beginning of his Sept. 1st entry is Hysterical!!

Update: This is also a VERY VERY funny website too.

Ummm. Gross.

For all of you non- facebookers: Nick just walked into the playroom and showed me that he had a live cricket between his index finger and thumb. Yayyy for fine motor skills!! But I digress. I reached out to grab it and he promptly popped it into his mouth.

Say it with me now. . . EWWWWWW!

I just let him chew it for a while and then he spit it out and fed it to the dog. Maybe he won't eat another one now that he had a chance to taste it?

Bus Drama

Today Lucas rode the big boy yellow school bus for the first time. He was so proud of himself! He had on the backpack and was waiting just like all the older kids do for the bus, except his bus is a special preschool bus. Lucas doesn't care that he gets on a different bus than the other kids, just that he gets on a bus. So off he went down the isle of the bus to his seat with the aid of an elderly grandfatherly man who had very kind eyes. His name is Tom. Robyn drives the bus and Tom attends to the little ones while in transit.

A few minutes after the bus drove away I heard sirens from somewhere in the neighborhood. So I decided that rather than worry for the next four hours I should just get in the car and investigate. I never found the sirens and I never found the bus. But I did end up at the preschool and I found myself standing in his classroom waiting for Lucas to be escorted through the door. The teacher was very understanding and smiled at me as I stood with three other moms against the wall waiting. And when he came through the door in one piece with a big smile on his face I was so happy for him. His first words to me were that the bus was bouncy.

Nick and I waited for Lucas to arrive home on the bus and at 11:26 am he arrived. The doors opened and I immediately asked the driver how he did. She smiled a big smile and said that he did great. No crying, no fearful looks, just happiness. I started to climb the steps into the bus so I could peer down the isle as Lucas came down. Instead of the smiling child just described to me I saw a twisted little face that had just burst into tears. Tom followed behind Lucas holding his backpack, oblivious to Lucas' sudden bout with crying. The bus driver saw the tears and immediately asked what was wrong. Lucas was unable to tell us what was the matter, he was so upset. He kept pointing back to his seat.

I assumed that he wanted to keep riding the bus so I told the driver that he is probably unwilling to get off the bus because it is so fun. She exclaimed that this is a first for her.

Most kids are happy to be home apparently. I scooped Lucas up from the bus, climbed down the stairs carrying both Nick and Lucas as I kept reassuring Robyn and Tom over my shoulder that he would be fine.

Lucas kept crying and pointing at the bus and Robyn and Tom both had the most concerned looks on their faces. Truly. They were both very VERY worried. I mean picture it: a three year old who burst into tears when he sees his Mom and then gestures frantically, no hysterically, to get back on the bus. It didn't occur to me that they were most likely worried because Lucas didn't want to be home. I thought they were worried because Lucas was being ripped away from his beloved bus ride.

So they reluctantly drove off after several minutes of watching me try to calm Lucas down. They literally watched me for several minutes! Finally I sat Lucas in a chair in the garage and got him calmed down enough to find out that he was upset because he had left his sweatshirt at school. He wanted to take the bus back to school to get the sweatshirt. I told him we would get it on Friday.

But now I have to awkwardly explain to Tom and Robyn on Friday why Lucas was upset - and try to make it look like I'm not concerned about them thinking my three year old hates me and would rather be with strangers all day than at home. I can hear it now: " He has a great, loving home life I SWEAR!! Please believe me!!"

My sister thinks it would have been really funny if Nick had started crying too and had also reached in desperation for the bus driver as I took both boys from the bus. PLEASE LADY!! HELPPPP USSSSSS!!!

this is all so embarrassing.
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Here are the kiddos playing in the dog crate with the dog. Mucho fun.

Flashbacks

There is a person I have reconnected with on Facebook, she was my sister's best friend growing up. She has a little boy who is Nick's age and another little boy who is Lucas's age.

Her youngest, just went into the hospital with a fever, and weird blood counts and all sorts of scary medical terms floating around. They are in the pediatric cancer ward and are terrified for their little boy. I am just sick over this. It brings back so many scary memories from Nick's hospitalization. I remember being alone sobbing in the crappy rocking chair in the hospital room while I held Nick, my baby, and I kept repeating over and over "No. Not him. Not my Nick." I told AJ about Ann and her little Liam and he got so shaken up that he left the room when I told him. We both were so terrified during Nick's ordeal those memories and feelings of terror come back so quickly once you hear about a similar case.

I wrote her a message on Facebook and told her about our experiences and that we were all pulling for her and her baby. She had her sister write back to me (at 12:30 am). She said that what I described matched her experiences to a T. Except that my experience lasted two days. Her's has gone on for over a week now. With no answers yet.

Please send some prayers and good vibes to little Liam. Let's hope this terrible ordeal ends soon. There is nothing worse in the world than watching your child suffer.

I Finally Did It

I finally pulled the trigger and booked a cruise. I have been looking and looking and getting all the info filled out but never have been able to hit send. So today I did it. It is official and there is no turning back now. AJ and I are cruise bound. Just the two of us. . . no kids. Finally.

We will depart from New Orleans, LA and will head to Mexico, Guatemala and Belize! For someone who has never been out of the country (except for that time I waded across the Rio Grande for some killer Guacamole enticing me from the other side. . .) this is a huge deal!!

A Brief Pause in the Ineffective Discipline at the Johnson Residence

Do you know what this is? It is on my carpet and it is the innards of a diaper. A pee diaper sprayed across my carpet little gel capsules of pee. Because I was lazy and decided to go for a three pointer into the garbage from the fireplace. And it broke open on the corner of the fridge and sprayed. My Mom burst out laughing and I begrudgingly cleaned it up. Thankfully the vacuum is effective in this sort of clean up.


This is Mr Lucas taking a beautiful nap. I truly love it when he takes a nap. He had a surprise waiting for me moments after I snapped this picture. He had pooped his underwear which is why he is sleeping on his belly. I have never rinsed poopy diapers or anything poopy in a toilet. It is gross and that is why I thank God for disposable diapers. However he has the cutest new boxer briefs that I refuse to throw away. Therefore I had my first experience rinsing poop out into a toilet. It was so freakin' foul, the chunks wouldn't come off the fabric and I wasn't about to use my fingernails or anything! My Mom had to come in and save me from the gagging. She acted as if this should be no big deal to me, and I truly don't know on what planet rinsing a nasty poopy into a toilet isn't gross.


The following photos should be titled:
The abuse of furniture OR
Why I can't have nice things
you decide.























Oh don't worry. Nick jumped willingly. He sprang up from the ground laughing and climbed up the couch to do it all over again. Normally they get in trouble for all of this, but I wanted to pause in the "discipline" to capture this on camera so I could share.

This brings me to my current problem. Discipline. According to the two foot high stack of books I have at my bedside, discipline isn't a form of punishment. The two things are separate. Punishment is not an acceptable parenting form anymore. Discipline is the new fad. Discipline can take the form of a time-out which is used to simply stop the bad behavior, not to punish the bad behavior. Time-outs are to give everyone a breather to regroup before the parent moves to distract the child so that they will no longer misbehave. Yes. Distract. Eventually the child will no longer seek to do the bad things because they will have been constantly distracted with the good behavior and will only seek out that which they are used to doing.

BULLSHIT. ALL. OF. IT.

I am at my wits end here. I can't find anything that works with Lucas. Timeouts are fun, going to his room is fun, sitting in the naughty chair is fun, the removal of toys isn't a big deal, my disapproval is no biggie, loss of privileges isn't anything to blink about either. I'm at a loss. What now? Discipline my ass. Punishment. I need punishment.

There is however some merit to the distraction thing. I have noticed that an occupied child does not get in as much trouble as a child left to occupy themselves. But I can't constantly provide one activity after another all day long, all WEEK long just so that my little angels stay out of trouble. They need to self entertain. Which is why I am loving the warm weather. Because right before I feel like I'm gonna blow - I throw them outside. And I close the screen door and I watch them from the comfort of my couch while I regroup. Yesterday, from the comfort of the couch, I watched Nick take a large bite out of a mud pie that Lucas had prepared for him. My Mom gasped and asked me what I was going to do. My reply was this: "As long as it isn't dog poop I'm not doing anything." Dirt eating builds immunity . . . to dirty things? Right?

Preschool

Lucas loves his preschool and loves his teacher. He has two little friends Joshua and Brandon. The Brandon name may change because I couldn't understand the second friend's name very well despite Lucas telling me over and over. He told me he played with the kitchen set today and "made a very big mess Mommy." He then told me that Miss Cheryl (teacher - obviously) put on the clean-up song and he cleaned it all up. Now why the hell haven't I thought to put on a clean-up song? I put on my clean-up sweatpants . . I even put in my extra special pony tail for cleaning. . . but he still won't help clean up. So I need to get my own clean up song so that Mr. Lucas will help me clean up too.

Last night Nick sat down at the dinner table while Lucas was finishing up his dinner. Nick reached over onto Lucas's plate, stabbed some food with Lucas's fork and tried to feed Lucas dinner. IT. WAS. HILARIOUS!!!!! Lucas just looked at the fork and then looked at Nick like "You're kidding right?"

And Nick. Here is the deal. I inhaled a bug the other day and what do you do when you get a bug in your mouth? You promptly and forcefully spit it out. And having worked a great deal with men in an outdoor setting, I have learned to spit like a dude. I'm not proud, I'm just painting the picture. So I was holding Nick and got the bug in my mouth and then expelled the bug like a rocket. Immediately after I did this I realized that I was holding Nick. . . and that Nick saw this with a front row view. And Nick paused in my arms, looked at me with this interested and horribly intelligent expression. Then the expression slowly changed to a mischievous expression. I started to panic inside because I knew I'd just screwed up really REALLY BADLY!!! Just as I feared he promptly began spitting. And he simply won't stop. I have spit all over the window by his car seat and on my couch. . . oh God it's everywhere you guys.

Lucas Turns Three

Lucas turned THREE! Can you believe it? I sure can't. But I can't stop the clock.

Big Boy Lucas had a good day - and we parents (and Grammy) had a rough day. Lucas was defiant at every turn and ended up in time-out multiple times. When timeout stopped working he went to his room, where he promptly locked Mommy out of his room!! With some sternly issued words from my side of the door Lucas opened his lock and smiled sweetly at me (and I resolved to remove the lock at the first chance I get) while I gritted my teeth.

Instead of taking some rope and tying him to a chair (which was tempting but not legal) I tried to reason with him. HA! Never try to reason with a three year old. Never. Immediately after what I thought was a successful negotiation with Lucas, he ran into the living room and kicked the dog. So he lost his new favorite toy: the new ship he got for his birthday. Did that work? Nooooooo it did not. And it went on and on. No punishment was working. I'm not sure how to survive this stage. My Mom casually mentioned that tonight would have been a good night for her to sip on some whiskey. . . except that we don't have whiskey in the house. I'll have to get her some. Poor Grammy.

The boys are so big

Here is Lucas sleeping. . . on a rare day that he takes a nap. He has just about given them up entirely. The picture is blurry because I didn't want to risk using a flash. Little Man starts school tomorrow. I thought that I was finally alright with it until tonight when I had him try on his new backpack. *Sniff, Sniff* His is just getting so big, so fast.


Nick, like all babies has always hated it when I am too busy to hold him. And people. I hold this kid ALL THE TIME. When I am cooking, cleaning and doing all the June Cleaver tasks that my current job description requires. Today I snapped a picture of the face that little Nick makes when I don't immediately cave into his demands:



And here is the pathetic helpless face he made when his Grammy tried to pick him up:


It's enough to make any mom melt and cave in to a tiny persons demands, however unreasonable.


But then we had ribs for dinner and life was good again. Especially since Grammy caved into his demands and held him on her lap instead of making him sit in his booster seat like mean 'ol Mommy and Daddy insist that he do. Thank goodness for the Grandma's and Grammy's in the world who spoil little people.



And here are the kids enjoying the ribs wholeheartedly.

The Fight for Highchair Duty

Since we got Olivia the area under our highchair has been kept very clean, I rarely have to do clean up now. With both Haylee and Olivia fighting for the droppings the mood under the table can be tense, but they always work it out in the end.


Almost three!!


Starting this Friday Nick will be an only child every Tuesday and Friday morning.

Published!

I just found out that a project I worked very, VERY hard on years ago is finally going to be published! I am going to be listed as the third author. WHOO HOOOOO! I am very excited as you can tell. It should be coming out soon, so I will be sure to provide a link for everyone to go and check it out.

My Day So Far

AJ let me sleep in despite him being up all damn night with Nick who is going through another bad sleeping spell. Then I got up and immediately started cleaning up the HUGE mess of toys in the living room. There were toys everywhere. AJ also helped with that - he is so great. Then off he goes to work and I continued trying to declutter my kitchen counters, and boy oh boy were they baaaaaddddd. 8:45am Lucas's preschool teacher arrived for the scheduled home visit. Lucas starts preschool (speech/articulation program) next Friday and she comes to each kid's house to get to know them. She started explaining the basics of school to me like:

"Have him bring a backpack with no snacks, we provide the snacks. Include a change of clothes in case there is an accident. No one has allergies in the class so if he wants to celebrate his birthday we can do cupcakes or whatever else you would like to bring. Every Friday is show and tell. Every Tuesday he will have 15 minutes of homework. The school bus goes door to door so if he wants to ride the bus there is that option . . . ."

I interrupted her here and said that I would be driving him to and picking him up from school so they didn't have to worry about that. I said that if Lucas wanted to ride the bus I'd consider it. Then she went on to explain the internet policy and the campus check in policy (parents must have badges to be on the premises for security) the video surveillance and the option of volunteering in the classroom if only she were able to find something for the parents to do.

I was a little dazed by everything when she left. She was incredibly nice and very caring. I am not worried at all about leaving Lucas in her care twice a week. And that is a good thing because he desperately needs help with his speech. At this point in his life kids are starting to notice when he pronounces DOG as GOG. So much of what he says is barely understandable. But you guys. . . he is turning THREE on Saturday and I am really not ready for all the school related discussions. He is still a baby to me. But he isn't yet three and I'm talking about internet policies, and components of a typical snack, school bus routes, classroom volunteers and . . . backpacks with folders full of homework.

I'm totally crying right now. This is just too soon.

She left the house and we said goodbye and as I close the door Lucas turned to me and said, "Me ride school bus. School buses are fun."

Uh.

Did you hear that? That was the sound of my heart breaking. But instead of bursting into tears like I wanted to do, I said:

"You are right. School buses are lots of fun. If you want to ride the bus you can. You are going to really like Miss Cheryll's school!"

And then on our way to the store to acquire a little boy backpack I drove away and was gone for 2.5 hours and left the garage door (the big one) wide open. Nice. Thankfully we live in a decent area and our garage-o-crap was intact when we returned.

Salinas Pueblo Missions NHS

Let me start by saying that I am really glad we went and we all had a great time. The housing we stayed in was really very nice. They had modern furniture (*gasp*) that was not only comfortable but clean. And the scenery was really amazing. I took a grand total of FIVE pictures. Below you will see all five pictures. I really should have taken more but damn it I don't have enough hands to carry Nick, hold onto the dog leash, push Lucas in the stroller AND take pictures. Plus every time I'd stop to look at something Nick would start kicking me (like he was spurring a freakin' rodeo bull or something!) and so I didn't stop much. We stayed in housing at Gran Quivira which is south of Mountainair, NM.

I didn't fully realize how remote this place is before I got there. They are in the middle of nowhere. There isn't cell phone coverage, or reliable electricity (I have one friend who is even more remote than this with a small child and I have a whole new respect for her now). We forgot ketchup for our hot dogs and a trip into "town" (I use the word town loosely because it is really a bunch of buildings with a small convenience store) would have taken over an hour - just for ketchup. I would love to live out there but not with small children. It reminded me a lot of eastern Oregon.

Oh - I saw a teeny tiny horny toad and told the interp ranger there about the little dude. He got really excited and said that there were people who worked at the park that hadn't seen a horny toad in over a decade. I had no idea they were rare up there. I used to see them all the time in the southern part of the state.

There is far more to the park than I have shown you in pictures. There are many MANY old ruins and buildings that are incredible. They do a great job of maintaining these areas especially considering that the ruins are subjected to a decent freeze/thaw cycle each winter. I had a little fun with Picasa photo editor too.

Packin' up

We are packing the minivan and are headed to a park that AJ serves in the mountains. I am excited because this is one I haven't visited so it will hopefully be interesting. It is all about history and the Spanish settlers, and the missions. . . wait. That describes soooooo many places here in New Mexico. Well I will take pictures, assuming I remember to bring the camera and remember to take the pictures. So - don't hold your breath. AJ will be working so it will be just me and the kids touring around.

It is our first trip with the D-O-G. We are staying in park housing for a couple nights so I am worried about that. Some of you are aware of how sketchy park housing can be. . . hold on. . . I'm having flashbacks. . . .to horrible rodents. . . . stained mattresses. . . . .nasty toilets. . . .

Alright. I'll let you know how we do. Another adventure. With kids. And now a dog. Keep your fingers crossed that I make it through this in one piece.

Asleep at the Table

Last night Lucas, who has decided naps are for babies and not big boys, was literally falling asleep while eating dinner. His eyes were rolling back and his head was bobbing around. He kept dropping his food back onto his plate mid-bite. He was so out of it that he didn't even realize I was taking pictures - with the flash! So funny.





Nick saw the camera and ran up to get his picture taken. Hi NICK!!



Here is Lucas after his bath. He stayed awake until his normal bed time which amazed me.