And Then I Started Yelling

Stupid Van. The mechanic can't replicate the horrible LOUD noise from the front end that happens every time I turn. Unbelievable. And yes, I am getting way too worked up over a stupid van. I took the mechanic for a drive in my van with two cranky screaming kids and a dog with irritable bowl syndrome (read: Foul GAS) in tow so that I could arrogantly show him the noise that I SWEAR is there. A full half hour later after countless turns it still hadn't made the freaking noise.

I'm not crazy. It is there. The noise. It is loud. I swear Mr. Meth addict Mechanic. It matters to me that you believe in what I am telling you. I won't judge you, Mr. Mechanic for your lack of pupils, I don't care. It does not matter to me that you inexplicably can not fully open your eyes to look at me but you must believe that there IS A NOISE. So in a final desperate attempt to produce this unmistakable noise I took a turn fast and hard, and threw him up against the window of the van in the process. All the while yelling obscenities at the van, calling "her" a blankety blank bitch for being such a diva and holding out with the noise. Suddenly the drug addict mechanic thought I was the crazy one. And I think his eyes fully opened on the turn. But still no noise.

So AJ my fully supportive husband drives the Bitchy Van home and I told him that he should pay attention in case the van pulls her shit with him. I got home before AJ and I was in the HOUSE WITH THE KIDS doors and windows shut when I heard the loud ass grinding noise from the van which was pulling into the driveway. That noise is how I knew AJ had arrived home.

I rush up to AJ so I could get some validation that in fact the noise exists and is loud as hell. Right AJ? You heard it RIGHT? Nope. My husband forgot about the noise - the only reason that he was in the van to begin with - and turned on the radio loud. I was at first speechless. What is wrong with him? You FORGOT??? He has GOT to be joking. I waited for a smile. I got nothing. Wait, he's SERIOUS?? YOU HAD THE RADIO ON!!!??? And then I started yelling. I guess I'm just crazy.