Whole Lotta Photos for Grandparents

Nick wears AJ's hat to hide from the sun

After the horrible sun incident that began with screaming and ended with Nick wearing AJ's hat.



Lucas came out of my bedroom wearing my jacket.  He asked me to help him zip up and to "find my hands".  So cute!  He also wanted his picture taken!!



Nick really likes the water. . . until he gets cold.



Nick was practicing putting his head under water, but he only got this far and then he'd stand up.

 



Lucas is the one up front smiling.  HE LOVES SWIMMING!

 



Lucas is getting so good at putting his head under water!

 



There was some sort of skirmish between Nick and the orange noodle wielding child.  Pretty funny when two 2 year olds start beating each other with swim noodles!!



This is the infamous frog slide.  The one Lucas pushed the baby down.  He is getting better but notice that the little girl up front is running to get out of his way? 



Racing to get back to the line so he can do it again!  Fun fun!

Dear Diary,

The heater stopped working last night.  My phone keeps randomly shutting off and loosing a signal.  Tech support can't help me unless I call them from a different line. . . which I don't have available at the moment.  The house was 60 degrees at 9 am.  I texted AJ and he scheduled an appointment for Thursday for the heat guy.

I lit the fireplace pilot light and fired that thing up . . . it isn't as good as an actual wood burning fireplace but it will help.  With the fireplace and the sun shinning outside we are at 67 degrees now.  Hopefully if I keep the fire going all day and night we won't freeze to death tonight (26 degrees forecasted).

Which reminds me.  We need to hurry up and winterize our irrigation system today.  SHIT.  These freezing temps just snuck up on us this year.  Last week our lows were in the 50's so we thought we'd have time.   AJ winterized the trailer last night, he had to wear a snow jacket and hat with gloves to go out in the 50-60 mph gusts in the frigid cold.  That was fun for him. 

In other news. . . . I found and ate a slice of an amazing BBQ pizza today.  OMG.  That pizza made the whole heating and phone difficulties a little better for me. 

I also have a HUGE chocolate cake with some awesome chocolate frosting I made yesterday.  I NEEDED SOME F-ING CHOCOLATE after discovering one of the boys shut off my crockpot, with dinner in it, at some point late yesterday morning (I didn't discover until 4:00 pm) leaving a partially cooked and now luke warm piece of meat sitting in the broth for hours. It didn't make sense to get upset about it (what's done is done) so instead of focusing on finding a new dinner I made a chocolate cake.  It rocked.  I fed the boys a LOAD of chocolate icing and then nuked some chicken patties for chicken burgers. 

So I will just stress eat my way through the week - a completely healthy way of dealing with things (kidding). 

I'm also taking on crafty projects around the house so I will have to photograph and share those later. 

Rough Morning

You know you're having a rough morning when you pull out two shoes and sit down to put them on and realize that you've done this:














Yeah. That pretty much sums it up.

TWO FUNNY

Vibes and Museums - Who Cares?





Everyone wants a piece of the sunshine.  It has been cooler here.  Heavy sweatshirt kind of weather. 

Not much else going on.  We took the kids to the Children's Museum in Santa Fe again.  It is a great little place that has a really low key, relaxed vibe to it.  The children are free to explore and learn and create in a non-structured way.  The other families there had a very "Santa Fe" feel to them.  As I looked around everyone had the (insert soft, airy tone) "children need to be free to explore and discover and create at their own pace" mentality which I also believe in. It was pretty funny to see other people with the hippy-dippy (again with the soft, airy voice) "my gifted child just created a masterpiece out of a toilet paper roll, a torn map and a bucket of paste" mentality.  YES I'm a stereo typing bitch, so sue me.  But we were there too. . . so. . . .

The Children's Museum has a very different feel to it than the Explora museum we go to in Albuquerque.  The Explora environment is less free-flowing and more of a (insert stern intense voice) "We have to cram valuable science information into our children's brains because they need to be smarter than the other kids God damn it!" vibe to it.  It isn't the museum's fault, but the visitors seem to be more intense and frantic.  Yes, frantic.  I still like Explora but it is good to have options.

So.  Now that I'm done criticizing everyone and their parenting styles. . . because I'm so perfect and all. . . I will let you resume your internet surfing.  Ciao!!

Shut Up You'd Do It Too

A little powder anyone?



Lookin' Good Little Man




Ahhhh.  He looks like an old lady with over done eyebrows.  So cute!!




Holy EYELASHES Batman!!

Today was pretty difficult.  For whatever reason we are all really tired and irritable.  The grocery store today was a freakin' nightmare.  Nick likes to ride on the side of the cart- hanging off like an old school garbage man.  The carts at the market are small and tip easily. . . . and Nick thinks the possibility of tipping the cart is exciting and fun. 

The store was filled with Moms with their young children, and Old PEOPLE who hate children and made it clear with loud sighs and overly dramatic glances at the Mom's.  Grrr.  I was doing the absolute best job that I possibly could, people!!!  I'm sorry that Nick took a bite out of the celery in the produce section.  I purchased the celery  OK???  And, yes, Lucas was not paying attention and kept getting in your way. . . again, so sorry.  And the greenbeans.  I didn't see everything that went down with the greenbeans but - again.  So sorry.

The bathroom situation there was not much better.  Today must've been potty training day at the grocery store because there were three of us in there with seven children, three of which were in diapers and insisted on peeing in the toilet like the other kids.  It was a freaking nightmare.

The lady in the stall next to me was living a parallel life to mine.  We both were trying to make our diapered but not yet potty trained kids happy by allowing them to "try".  Chaos ensued in her stall when the other child flushed the toilet early and the diapered kid FREAKED OUT.  Suddenly something hit the stall wall and a diaper hit the floor and I don't know what else was going on in there. . . but not good.  I was going through a similar situation in my stall only our problem was whether the stall door was to be open, or closed. 

In the midst of this an old lady came in and went into the fourth stall after dramatically pausing at the entry door and openly debating whether or not she really had to go that bad. . . is it worth it or not???  Should I come into this mess, or not??  Hmmmm?

Next up: hand washing.  How to wash hands with those automatic sinks and long sleeves and  . . . .ooooh interesting things in the drain on the floor, and ooooohhhh what is that?  Is that the old lady's feet under the stall??  "Mommy is she pooping??"  "Mommy? What is that NOISE in there?"

OH.  DEAR.  GOD. 

Hand washing is not worth this when I have sanitizer in my purse.  GET OFF THE FLOOR.  NO she isn't pooping and stop touching the inside of the garbage can!!!!! 

The day progressed with hysterical crying because he didn't get to buckle himself.  Topped off by an episode of the other one refusing to eat the sandwich because it wasn't what he asked for.  Does it matter which one is "he"?  Nope.  Sure doesn't.

So yes.  I put old lady make up on my boys because I needed a laugh.  I double dog dare you to make fun.  I wrestled a half naked two year old off a public restroom floor and back into a used-but-not-too-dirty diaper today.  Bring it on!!

I Just Can't Help Myself

I don't expect you all to agree with me on this but I just can't hold this in:

I just read this:  http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2010/10/19/odonnell-gets-coons-for-constitutional-law-101/

Normally I figure that journalists skew things - especially nowadays - so I don't give too much credit to news stories.  What really got my attention was watching the video.  This woman truly didn't know what the First Amendment says. 

I'll be honest:  my stomach just turned a little bit.  It scares the shit out of me that a candidate for US Senate doesn't appear to have read or even be familiar with The Bill of Rights. I'm not claiming to be a political whiz or know-it-all but COME ON!!!!!

It's the BILL OF RIGHTS.  I'll just keep yelling. . . . because IT'S THE BILL OF RIGHTS!!!!!

COME ON!!!!

(I'll be yelling throughout the day, seemingly out of nowhere, each time I think of this woman. . . because I can't help myself.)

come.
freakin'. 
on.   

I can't WAIT to see what Jon Stewart says about THIS one.

More Excitement at the Botanic Gardens

A $2000 steam powered mini locomotive.  That price is BEFORE the remote control features were added which upped the investment to around $3000. Pretty impressive.  It is run off of Butane for the boiler (yes an actual boiler) which produces the steam to make it all work.



Here is a picture of the locomotive with a glove so you can get a feel for the size.  I did not get a picture of the entire track but there were several of these things choo choo-ing around the track.  It is really exciting to see how enthusiastic the train club members are about these things.  Their enthusiasm is contagious. 




There are still some flowers around




The change is coming. . . . the yellows and oranges are here



 

More color - I like the calico ones.




The boys were looking at one of the many bee hives.  There were bees all over the place and no one was harmed or needlessly scared.   I was proud that my kids haven't been taught to run in fear from such an interesting animal.  Yeah that's right, I'll stand on my soap box about this subject once again.  You can't teach kids to value and understand something they are also taught to blindly fear.  Annnd I'm off the soap box.



Oooooo goats.  Goats like scratching behind the ears just like dogs.  Errrrrrrr yeah right there, don't stop, keep scrattttchhhhing.  When I worked on the goat ranch they all figured out that I was a softie for a cute goat and they harassed me to scratch them all the time. 



Love this Little Dude

Love this Kid

Baaad Peanut Butter

Nick took a big bite of peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  I was looking down at the table as I finished filling out paperwork for Lucas's school.  It wasn't a thick sandwich.  Just a normal kid sized sandwich.

I glanced up and saw him trying to breathe.  Again.

This shit keeps happening.  W. T. F???

No air getting through = no gagging sounds = Mom totally oblivious until I looked up and laid eyes on him.

He didn't know enough to try to get my attention.

I normally don't jump up for them gagging or choking because like I've said before, they normally get it out on their own.  I'm becoming pretty bullet proof with the gagging/choking thing. This time I moved fast because . . . well it was just obvious that I needed to act.

I held him balanced on an arm upside down over the garbage can  (this isn't the first time I've had to do this and I didn't want a mess) and whacked his back.  (How weird is it that I thought of a mess?  In my defense the garbage can was directly next to where he was sitting.)

The thing about peanut butter is that is sticky and didn't just pop loose. I think more than anything it was gravity and his attempts at gagging that cleared his airway. I was afraid that if I went in after it with a finger sweep it would just push it farther down. Finally it oozed out of his mouth slowly which is how I realized just how much he had jammed into his mouth. 

Why in the hell would he take such a huge bite?  He's two, that's why.  He still doesn't know any better and, even though I think some things should be intuitive, for a two year old they aren't.  Hell, even Lucas still puts too much in his mouth and gags. 

Lesson learned:  Look at them frequently even if I'm sitting at the same table.   

Forcing Pee

Took the boys swimming again tonight.  I am so relieved that the other Mom's entering the water with their tots have Mommy bodies too and not the skinny-never-had-a-child-destroy-my-body, body.  It made it ok to be in a bathing suit in front of a dozen or more spectators who were watching their more advanced children swim. 

Lucas is learning to put his head under the water and he is loving EVERY. SINGLE. SECOND. Truly.  His smile is beaming and he is excited and confident and having a blast.  I love seeing him like this.  He walks into the pool area and sees his "friends" and excitedly greets them. I think I may have to just find the money to keep enrolling him over and over in swim classes throughout the year as long as he loves it so much. We do however need to work on his patience - he pushed a baby down the tot slide so that he could go down it after her.  Not so good.  And then he pushed a little girl off the steps to the slide so that he could get to it first.  Not so good.  The parents all shot me looks.  So we need to work on that.

Nick is also loving the swimming but not as much as Lucas.  Nick simply doesn't have any body fat and that translates into shivering and not being able to be in the pool longer than 20 minutes.  So while he loves the water he also starts to turn blue and stiffen up while shaking uncontrollably halfway through the lessons.  Sooooo we may need to find Nick a different activity that requires more clothing.

In the locker room it took me 35 minutes to get everyone showered, dressed and . . . . urinated?  Anyway.  Nick is insisting that he is potty trained so he needs to pee in the big person potty like everyone else. 

And he stands there. 
And he stands there. 
And he puts his hands on the edge of the filthy disgusting bowl, bracing himself to push pee out.
And he stands there. 

Ten minutes.  TEN MINUTES. 

I tried pulling him away but he burst into tears and said that he needed to pee like Lucas. I didn't have the heart to force him to give up.  So we stood there some more while he tried to get his pee pee to come out.

Finally I coaxed him out of the stall with the promise of dinner waiting at home (he was hungry).  After scrubbing the shit out of his public toilet bowl hands we finally were able to leave the pool.

Finally.

Whew.



Lucas following his teacher through the water




Lucas kicking - not because he was told to but just because he couldn't contain his excitment.



Update.

Ummm yeah. 

Mommy's back is on the verge of something terrible. 

Kids sent outside to play - Mommy joined them to throw ball for dog.

Came inside to answer phone.

Turned to see a jet of water from the hose shooting into the house.

Ran to close door.

Lucas was controlling the water at the faucet.

Nick aimed the hose at Mommy Dearest.

And then aimed water at the door as it closed.

Children laughing as Mommy was trapped in the house unable to stop maniacally laughing children.

Mommy stared at them through the wet glass door temporarily stunned.

Water still hitting glass door.

Until Mommy came at them through the side yard gate. 

Muddy children laughing.

Mommy to amused at children's brilliant diabolical plan to be mad.

House wet.

Mom needs more to drink.

Lubed Up Ears

Nick was sitting at the table eating lunch.  I looked up from my plate to see Nick stick a finger into his ear.  This isn't unusual, he's been plugging his ears with his fingers so he can scream louder, it amuses him.  But this time his other finger was dipped into the tomato sauce on his plate.  Then slowly and carefully he balanced a gob of sauce on his finger and inserted it into the other ear. 

I yelled "STOP, NO STOP!"

He paused and looked at me as if to say "Wha?  Wha's wrong? Wha'd I do?" 

I burst out laughing, despite my attempt to keep it bottled up under a frown because it was just too funny.  I couldn't pull off the stern "I'm warning you, knock it off young man" thing this time.  He saw me laughing and started laughing too.

"It's funny! Very FUNNY!" he said.

"Niiiick stop putting food in your ears" said Lucas who then started laughing at the whole thing too. 

Yes.  Filling your ears with tomato sauce is actually very funny.  I'm going to wait for it to dry and then flake out of his ears.  In the mean time it will look like he has bloody ears. 

Perfect for his developmental assessment scheduled for later today.

The Big and The Small

First the big stuff. 

We went last weekend to see my sister Stella and had a fantastic time.  Unfortunately I did not get a single photo of her and the boys together.  I am really REALLY bummed out about that.  Stella was a fantastic hostess and fully stocked her refrigerator and cabinets with kid friendly foods and drinks.  She had special orange juice and yogurts and cheeses - just to name a few.  She took us to the Natural History Museum and took us into the special butterfly exhibit which was a huge 4 story green house filled with TONS of various butterflies fluttering around.  It was incredible. 

We also went to the zoo and saw a special dinosaur exhibit where there were animatronic dinosaurs that moved and made noises and were true to size.  The kids loved it and so did we.  We all stood in front of the T-Rex marveling at how intimidating it was.  The thing was huge and would have been terrifying back in the dinosaur days. 

We also were able to see my cousin Stacie and her three kiddos.  It had been so long since I'd seen her and it was soooo nice to catch up.

We had a hell of a long drive back - 15 hours - and we did it without stopping.  There was a monstrous thunderstorm outside of Wichita Falls, Tx.  FYI: lightening bolts are huge when they hit the side of the road next to you.  They aren't the delicate thin bolt that you normally see.  Nope.  They are wide and make you want to crap your pants.  The locals who were driving on the road with us didn't seem fazed and kept on cruising down the road as if it was just another storm.  And for them, in tornado country, it probably was. 

Next the small stuff:
The boys started swimming, as I mentioned in the post before this.  They did a fantastic job.  They got right into the water and listened to the swim teachers and had a great time.  Lucas's class was full, but only he and another child were willing to get into the water.  The other three kids stood on the side of the pool crying that they didn't want anything to do with the water.  But MY little angels were perfect.  I bet all those other parents were horribly jealous that my kids were the picture of swimming perfection and their little ones were uncooperative little wimps.

Ok.  I'm kidding.  Last time we had lessons my kids were the ones crying and upset on the sidelines - so I completely sympathized with them. 

Also - BIG NEWS!!!!!  I'm . . . . I'm.  Oh gosh I don't know how to break the news to everyone.  But here it goes. 

I'm officially using fabric softener.  Deep breaths.  I know.  I'm just as excited as you are about this.  This is a big development.  After using my sister's ultra soft, plush, sweet smelling towels I have decided to give the fabric softener thing a whirl.  I even invested the $1.37 on the "Downey Ball".  I am one step closer to becoming the perfect housewife that I have never aspired to be.  But here I am:  deeply committed to having super soft towels. 

Swimsuit Season - Again.

Today the boys go to swim lessons again. 

And I of course have taken a hiatus in the shaving of leg hair since the weather has been cooler.  I have 2 hours and 15 minutes before it is time to delicately slide into the water at the aquatic center.  Problem #1 - I don't know where the hell my swim suit is.  Problem #2 - I don't know where my spare razor blades are.  Problem #3 - I'm not sure how I'm going to do this with both boys.  Problem #4 - I only have 2.25 hours to make myself look like this before it's "go" time. Because I'm all rational and realistic with my personal goals.  I'd probably loose the huge knife before getting into the kiddie pool.

Alright.  Time to stop procrastinating.  Gotta go weed whack. . . .

Aunt Stella

 Aunt Stella is marked on Lucas's calendar and he is counting down the moments until we get to see her.  He made me call his teacher on the phone so he could tell her that we are leaving for Aunt Stella's house tomorrow.  Lucas is practically bouncing off the walls.  Nick is still too young to understand fully that we are going on a trip, but Lucas has a better grip on how time works which is why we got him a calendar. 

It is all he's been talking about, all we hear about.  The calendar comes off the fridge at least once a day so that we can look at the day. The day we get to see her is a very big day.

The kids are so fantastically exciting.  His excitement is so pure and contagious.  I love that he is getting his baby brother involved in the "planning" of our trip by ordering Nick around on what to pack and what bag to use and "no, don't pack that truck Nick, pack this one." 

I re-registered our alarm system with the city today and ironically today was the day I set the alarm off and didn't know it.  The alarm company called me as I was pulling out of the driveway and asked me if they should summon the police.  Nooooo, I'm in the driveway, why??  Ahhhhh.  A door was ajar.  Well, I guess the alarm is working well enough for us to leave on the trip.

Lucas had a trip to the Dr for allergies.  They gave him a nasal spray that is supposed to help which would be nice.  He is constantly clearing his throat from the drainage and as a result his throat is red and swollen.  Poor dude. 

Nick is still trying to land himself in the ER by doing crazy, fearless shit around here . . . but I keep thwarting his diabolical plans. . . . we shall see how Nick proof Aunt Stella's house is . . . .

Aunt Stella if you are reading this you should stash all items that you value on the top shelf of a closet.  Not joking.  If he can't swallow it he will throw it at a wall and/or person for fun.  And then he will give you his classic "OHHHhhhhhhhhh . . . . ."  in a tone that says "this is new information, I didn't know I wasn't supposed to tear your home apart, no one has ever told me this before."  When in reality he is just playing the cute card because you have told him a million times.

Lucas told his father today during dinner that he didn't like cowboy music.  AJ looked like someone kicked him in the nuts.  AJ tried to convince Lucas that cowboy music is cool. . . but Lucas wouldn't give an inch.  All this while Nick was trying to delicately hang upside down from his booster chair like a bat with his feet hooked under the top of the chair.  He nearly succeeded except his pesky Mom interferred yet again with his carefully laid plans. . . damn her!!!  (Insert Stewie Griffin's voice)

Alrighty then . . . . Houston here we come.


The boys are pouring over the calendar waiting for the day



THERE is the day. Super excited!!



Balloons at the Preschool

 I forgot my camera at home so these are phone-camera photos.  Not the best. 

Lucas's school had a balloon extravaganza at 7 am this morning.  We got there on time and were surprised by how many people were there already.  We were able to walk around freely and get as close as we wanted to the balloons - within reason.  They didn't exactly want us climbing into the basket or anything like that. 

Everyone was pretty respectful.  At one point a herd of juvenile H. sapiens was backed up against the balloon for a picture when they all started leaning on it and soon they were falling under it and being covered up by it. . . . my kid was next to all this and started to think it was OOOOODLES of fun and decided to try to go under it too. . . . parents and teachers started to lunge forward to save all the little darlings from being swallowed up under the balloon.  Thankfully the adults intervened in time and pulled everyone out. . . AJ pulled Lucas away from the balloon too.  That is why I don't have a pic of him next to the balloon - I was too busy panicking. 

 We ran into some friends with kids in the preschool so it was nice to visit with them. It was very cool that the boys got to see the balloons up close and in person.  Our town always seems to have hot air balloons floating around so we were happy that the kids finally got to see one up close instead of just floating over the house or over the car.  We are pretty lucky to have so many silent, and beautiful balloons around.



The burners illuminated the balloon

 

The fans began to fill another balloon - the kids were all going nuts about the balloon getting bigger.

 

Bigger. 

 

AJ took each of the boys up to touch it which was super exciting.

  

Then they turn the fan off and turn the burner on which causes the balloon to lift off the ground and float.



Ready to go up, up and away. . . .