Freaking Out Because I Can

I have been postponing the dentist visit for like 8 months now. My last visit was last spring. Since my last visit I had broken a tooth and was horribly upset by this. I didn't want to deal with it I just wanted to ignore it and wish it away. And that worked except that every time I bit into a hard or crunchy object I would panic and assume that more teeth were breaking, falling apart and Holy Shit the worst case scenario. . . I need dentures.

You think I'm kidding but I'm not. I truly had blown this whole thing up in my head and I really believed that I was going to need a minimum of three root canals (I had identified the teeth) and several caps. Oh and they may need to remove the broken tooth entirely because I had postponed going to the dentist for so long. I was looking at thousands of dollars and how are we going to feed the children because of my dental bills. . . how selfish of me to go to the dentist and spend that kind of money. . . I better postpone it for another couple months.

I finally forced myself to go because somewhere amidst all the irrational thoughts a rational one seeped in and that thought was this: My teeth issues aren't going away. I need to deal with them before they get worse and more expensive.

So I went. I sat in the chair and explained confidently to the technician taking the x-rays which teeth she really needed a good look at because I HAD MAJOR ISSUES. She looked at me strangely but I assumed that she was impressed with my grasp on my dental issues.

I'll save you a long story and cut to the chase: When I paid my bill as I left the dentist it totaled $35.87 after our insurance paid the rest. We don't have fabulous insurance. I just am a panic-y nut job who freaked out for nothing. My teeth are fine, they fixed the broken one and saved my fragile ego by explaining that two close pregnancies, and 2 full years of breastfeeding combined with a moderate (3 a day) diet coke habit weakened my teeth. I'm weaning myself off the Diet Coke and am so thankful I don't need a full set of dentures.

Today I go in for a cleaning and then I am back on a 6 month dental cleaning schedule. Whew. Relief.

I really need to learn to chill out a little.