Bully

I went to our HOA meeting the other night.  I had a few concerns about their budget that I wanted to address with the board and we were voting on a new board.  Most of the people I see in our neighborhood are in their 30's or 40's with a family.  I really don't see too many heads of house outside of this age range.  But at the HOA meeting I was easily the youngest person there, most of the people were retiree age and in their 60's and 70's.  I think that is a product of the timing of these meetings - so many people work all day and can't attend meetings because they are feeding and getting their kids to bed. 

There was one other person I knew in the room of about 100 or so people.  Afterward I asked her if I seemed like a bully and she said no, but my memory remembers it going something like this:

My suggestion to cut the budget significantly by eliminating paper bills in the mail and instead require electronic (far far far less expensive - like $80,000 less expensive) billing was not well received by the predominately geriatric crowd.  They seem to like to get a eco-unfriendly newsletter in the mail and a paper bill in the mail and they also like to pay 42 cents to mail a paper check back in the mail. . . MY GOD it all seems so antiquated. 

The topic of the "social committee" comes up.  The proposed budget allocates them $2500, an increase from the $350 in 2010. 

I stood up and said this:  I appreciate that we have a social committee and feel it is valuable for community building, however if the committee needs money for events they should get the money through fundraising and not from the HOA budget. 

President of the HOA:  (turns to his board members and quietly says something to them)

Me: I don't think I should pay for something that needs to be paid for through fundraising.

President of the HOA: So you are going to get involved?

Me:  No.  I think the $2500 is way too much of an increase, considering you claim you were "forced" to raise our monthly dues. 

At which point I sat down because I had nothing more to add - and hate it when people in public discussions keep saying the same thing over and over and the conversation never moves forward - I didn't want to be one of those. . . but at the same time I wasn't very articulate with my concerns.  That is a chronic problem for me. . . if you haven't already noticed.

Later in the discussion the Chairwoman of the social committee stands up and many people applaud her.  She is apparently a hero for all of her efforts - and really she probably is a fantastic woman.  She selflessly volunteers her time and energy to make our community better - which I am not willing to commit to doing.  So good for her.  Unfortunately her events are only attended by a few families (out of 3100 homes) by her own admission.  She had an ice cream social at 7:30 at night so the adults of the community could get together - but of course most people here are younger families and 7:30 is wayyy too late. So no one came.  Things like that are what we are funding.

She stands up and I see that she is really old and very frail looking and now suddenly I am the asshole who attacked this old sweet woman's efforts (I didn't even know who she was - just that a committee chair asked for and received a $2500 budget).  She gets to the microphone and squints into the audience looking around.  She then says:  "I can't focus with my right eye, so that is why I'm looking around like this.  But to the woman that stood up earlier and said we need to do fundraising. . . ."

Ahhhhh F*#%.  I'm totally F*#%ed.  She can't even see me and I want to take all her funding away. 

All I can do is raise my hand SO SHE CAN FIND ME, and smile sweetly at her . . . because if I looked anything other than sweet and caring I'd be ruthlessly attacked by everyone in the room, I'm sure. 

She was very sweet to me, the asshole who doesn't feel she should get funding for her selfless efforts at community building, and she said "I strongly encourage you to get involved, we can always use people to help on the social committee." 

Whew.  I got off easy.  She could have ripped me a new one, but she is way too classy for that, which I appreciated.

I wanted to get up and say that I have no interest in being involved in this but I do have an interest in my fees being raised for fluffy expenses like poorly attended ice cream socials.  But I wisely stayed seated. 

Anyway.  My friend who was there said that my recollection of things is far worse than it actually was.  I hope she is correct.  I hope I'm not the community jackass who is attacking old, frail women who can't see very well.