Consequences Suck

It is time to release some of the insulation I have tightly wrapped around my kiddos, in particular, Lucas.

I'm tired of fighting with him to get naked for shower time.  Last night I just didn't have the energy and so I told him that he can decide to take his clothes off and shower or he can decide to spend the rest of the evening in his room.  He opted for the room.  5 minutes into his decision he suddenly wanted a shower.  I reminded him that he was asked repeatedly to get in the shower and that he made a decision to not take a shower, and now he was going to live with his decision.  Lucas was not happy, and neither was I (I second guess everything and want to give in to make my little guys happy) but damn it I can't keep struggling with them over every single thing.

Life has consequences and I shouldn't be caving in and cushioning them from the natural consequences of their decisions.  Obviously I will still cushion some of them, because he's four but, it is going to be very hard to retrain myself to let go of the reigns a little and let him have some power. . . and then live with it. 

Another example:  Lucas would not sit still for our bedtime story.  He put his feet on the book, he stood on his head - he was behaving terribly.  I told him repeatedly to sit still or else he would not finish the story with Nick and me.  His behavior continued.  So Nick and I moved to Nick's bed and finished the story.  Lucas cried and cried.  I informed him that his decision to act out resulted in him not finishing the story.  I told him that next time he should make a better decision.  Then I gave him a hug and kiss good night, told him I loved him and then . . .I left him there.  Crying.  And it ripped me up. 

Obviously for someone other than Lucas's Momma this wouldn't be such a difficult move.  For anyone looking from the outside in this may seem like a no-brainer.  But it is MY blue eyed baby that is devastated.  And that is very hard on both of us.

Tonight if Lucas won't get undressed I will stick him in the shower with his clothes on.  And I will give him his options before I do anything - because he needs to make the decision.  Do I stand in the shower with my clothes on (it would kill Lucas to be in there with clothes), or do I want to take my clothes off?  Nick is a different kid.  When he gets to this stage I don't know what we will do.  He would LOVE to be in the shower with clothes on. 

Well.  That's what's going on over here.  I feel like I will break in half if I keep bending and caving in and allowing them to change their minds. . . I just can't keep providing all the options and solutions.  It is exhausting.

Lucas tearfully told me last night that he has so many things and ideas going through his head that he has a hard time knowing what decision to make.  I told him that he is new at the decision thing and he'd get better at it with practice.  And then I gave him a big ol hug and kiss and told him I loved him.