Good Advice Bad Delivery

Some of you may have seen on Facebook that we went to the Pediatric Dentist today.  And it didn't go very well. 

The kids were excellent and got their teeth cleaned and were perfectly behaved.  Nick's teeth indicate that he sucks on his BaBa.  So the hygienist gave me a pretty stern 1/2 hour lecture, as she cleaned, about the BaBa and different methods to get rid of the BaBa.  I took her advice to heart and decided that she was right, we need to get rid of the BaBa because I don't want it to do permanent damage to his mouth.  In my defense he really only sucks on it when he's tired and going to sleep.  But it doesn't matter, it needs to go.  Fine. 

Then the doc comes in and sees that Lucas has cavities.  So she asks me about Lucas breastfeeding and wants to know if I breastfed for very long, did we breast feed while cosleeping, does/did he sleep with a bottle, sippy cup, blah blah blah.  FYI he stopped breast feeding at 8 months, no he didn't cosleep past 4 months of age, never could get him to take a bottle, yes he does/did have sippy cups but mostly with water - rarely with anything else, yes he sleeps with a water bottle at night. 

Long story short, she didn't believe that he only sleeps with water, and didn't believe that he didn't go to bed with a bottle.  It is one thing to tell someone a white lie and them not believe you.  But it is a whole other deal when you have been completely honest and you are not believed.  I was convicted of sending my child to bed with milk/soda/black tar heroine in a bottle (that he never learned to drink out of) because he had a cavity behind his front tooth.  I don't know how it got there.  We brush daily.  We floss (I was told flossing was a complete waste of my time, and my time would be better spent folding laundry). 

Exact words: Folding laundry. 

Anyway.  The lecture continued and continued and at one point I remember noticing that I had gone from an open and receiving body posture with appropriate smile, to a frown, arms and legs crossed back literally pressed against the wall with a lump in my throat as I swallowed back tears. 

The lecture on Nick's Baba included her showing me in Lucas's mouth how I had narrowly avoided pre-adult teeth orthodontic work by removing his Baba in the nic of time. See these top canine teeth?  They nearly sucked in behind the bottom canine teeth.  Classic Baba use.  You were lucky. Nick's mouth is at risk.  And then I listened to another looonng lecture on how we need to get the baba away today, we can blame it on her, and that  "It will take three days to get him to forget about the binky, but soon you will hear what he has to say, and you might like to know what he's thinking rather than him sucking his thoughts away."

So basically she thinks that I give him the baba to shut him up.  To keep Nick quiet because Mommy needs to do her hair and doesn't like noise.  I apparently don't care to hear what my child wants to say because every time he opens his mouth I imagine she thinks I shove the Baba into it.  What a terrible and offensive suggestion. 


The look on my face was probably a mix of horror at what a terrible Mommy I clearly am and a mix of sadness.  I asked what Lucas's next appointment would be like because he would be getting a cap over his molar and his cavities filled.  She explained what would happen and that I wasn't to tell him anything, they would prepare him as he went back to get the work done.  Makes sense.  They are pediatric pros who are experienced in getting kids to cooperate and have good experiences. 

And the kicker.  Here's what nearly sent me over the edge.

Then she asks me if Lucas is a lot like me temperament wise. I said yes. She then asked if Nick was like his Dad, laid back and relaxed.  I said yes she was right.  She then turned to her assistant and said "Look how concerned she looks." And turned back to me with a smile - she intended for me to hear and intended it to be funny.  Of course I'm concerned for my four year old kiddo.  And no, it isn't funny.  Five hundred dollars is not funny to me. 

My experience in her office was not funny to me.  She was good with the kids but very insulting and offensive to me.  I pay the bills.  We won't be going back.

Moral of the story:  I believe she was right about the Baba.  It needs to go.  But the way she delivers her message is lacking in a major way.