Fast Trip

On Friday (yesterday) we suddenly decided at 2pm that we were going to go to Carlsbad Caverns, one last time before we headed north in 2 weeks.  By 4pm we were packed, the dog was at the dog resort and we were in the car and driving.  Whew.

And now we are home.  We got home at 8pm today (Saturday).  It was a fast trip but a great trip. 

We got there bright and early, knowing that it would get very crowded on Easter weekend.  Being tourists, we had to pose for the super cheesy picture that most of my friends will laugh at. 

We had forgotten that is was a free weekend for the National Parks!!  Whoo Hoo we got in free!

Nick decided that he was scared of all the dark and big spaces.

Lucas was VERY excited to be underground in a real CAVE and everything!!!  Just like in the Scooby cartoons!!!

We noticed that all the pools in the cave were very full!  The park staff must have finally decided to refill them.  Ha!!

And the staff must have hosed off some of the formations, and got them all sparkly white and shiny wet. I wish they'd do that with all of the formations.  (Most of you know I'm joking)

Unfortunately the new layout of the trails near the natural entrance didn't allow us to get to the Natural Entrance without sitting through ANOTHER orientation after standing in a long line.  I don't care for the new design down there.  But the boys loved the big hole in the ground, once we got close enough to see it!

We lunched at Rattlesnake Springs.  Beautiful and peaceful as always.

Nick played by a tree

I got a very fuzzy photo of a dragonfly.

Here's an even worse photo of a Vermilion Flycatcher .  He's in the center of the pic on a dangling little branch.  Good luck seeing him.

Speaking of flashy dudes (this one is much less attractive though), this guy was in the Walmart parking lot.  SHOCKING, I know.  Here he is after he had to drop/jump out of his vehicle. 

Here he is again with his kids.  To get this photo, I was hiding behind a post at the gas station while I stuck my camera around the side.  I didn't want to be obvious!!  How does he get back in??  How does he reach the handle to open the door??  I'm going to guess that he might be over compensating for something. . . . . .and judging by the size of his over compensation it must be a significant problem that he is trying to cover up. . . . . just sayin'.  [AJ said that he's surprised the guy could reproduce based upon the size of his over compensation.  HAHA!  I love AJ!]

It was hot.  We met some good friends for ice cream.  So good to visit!!

Nick was gnawing on turkey jerky a lot.  Shortly after we got home he had a turkey jerky poop which made me decide to never EVER give him turkey jerky again.  Even my husband with a cast iron stomach had to leave the room.  It was highly unpleasant.  TMI - but consider it a warning.

Speaking of TMI.  I encountered a cashier in a store who took a step back from the register to burp.  He then stepped back and in detail explained to me that he'd just had nachos with salsa and jalapenos. He went on to tell me that he had to step away to burp, but that the nachos were worth it.  I think he wanted me to comment . . .  I did not.  I just looked at him. 

I then encountered another person at another register at another store who was barely willing to tell me my total amount owed.  When she did speak to me it was with a great deal of effort, no smile, and no greeting.  She was really unhappy that she had to take my money.  I was suddenly reminded that when I moved to Albuquerque 2.5 years ago we were so shocked by how friendly people were.  We were just amazed that waiters and waitresses and clerks and cashiers were all greeting us with smiles, and being . . . pleasant.  I had forgotten.

Those were the only down sides to our trip.  We had a GREAT time, although it was too short.  The park is beautiful as always.  I really miss that park.  But I don't miss that town.

Not Again

I had to do the Heimlich maneuver on Nick today.  This is the third time this kid has choked bad enough to need assistance.  What the hell is that about???

He crams his mouth with food and won't swallow until he gags.  I am constantly having to make him spit some out into a napkin - nice visual huh?

Anyway.  It was different that the other times. He started off with dry chex cereal.  He made a face as if he was in a great deal of pain and cried out.  But then he stopped making noise.  I picked him up and thought he'd swallowed a sharp piece and scratched his throat.  I was carrying him to the garbage can to empty his mouth of the rest.  Then I heard a brief and desperate sounding gasp.  It was way too short to be a real breath, it stopped abruptly.  I realized that he was choking and not breathing.  I knelt on the ground and did the chest thrusts.  Two of them.  Nothing.  No breathing.  No breathing. 

Normally, I'm calm.  At least I feel calm, normally.  But I freaked-the-(insert cuss word)-out when the two chest thrusts didn't work.  I picked all 34 pounds of him up with one hand and tilted his whole body with his head down. I dropped his chest onto my fist and then whacked the living-shit out of his back like a freaking maniac.

It worked.  The gravity worked.  He took a big long gasp and started to cry. 

Shocking News Flash:  I'm not too thrilled that this kid has a knack for choking.

Zoo

We went to zoo yesterday with Joanne.  We had a lot of fun.  As you can see I am still playing with photoshop. 

The zoo was packed with about 10 (I'm guessing) field trip groups from local schools.  The place was swarming with kids in color coded t-shirts.  There weren't enough chaperone's and the kids were running, screaming and obnoxious.  At one point they swarmed into a building we were in and separated me from Nick and Sara (Joanne's daughter).  Sara was trying to get out of the way but they wouldn't let her get over to me because they were rushing by so fast - so I got feisty.  We'll leave it at that.

It was really nice to sit on the lawn and visit with Joanne.  I am planning a trip to see her next week.  One last chance before the big move. 

The bitches, aka cats, have decided to F with me and are puking all over the carpets.  Good times.  I'm not sure if I can get some of the stains out.

Lesson Learned??

Lucas chased Nick down with his bicycle while Nick ran across the court.  They were laughing and having a blast - a modified game of chase.  It was slow motion for me because it was pretty predictable that Nick would trip on the too-close tire on the bike.  I tried to stop it, but was too late.  Lucas ran right over him and dragged him along for a few inches until the momentum stopped. 

Both were guilty.  Nick shouldn't get in front of bikes and asked to be chased, and Lucas should leave enough room so that he can stop if needed. 

They both cried, for different reasons.  No real harm was done, but I had a chat with both of them and tried to make it a learning moment.  I don't know if I succeeded though.  My boys don't seem to think of consequences or have the caution that many girls do. 

I took these pics less than two minutes after it happened, and you can see that Nick is not crying anymore and is fascinated by the blood oozing from his skin.  That seemed to be more interesting to Nick than maintaining a cry was. 

I just had to share the tire marks on Nick's back though.  It is pretty funny that he has tire marks on his back.  If he were older that would be something to brag about. . . .

Buyers

For all the people who believe in karma. . . . it has slapped me on the ass.  When we moved into this house we asked the seller to repair a small hole in the screen door, and a small air leak around the front door (not a big deal).  I wasn't even completely aware of our realtor requesting these things . . . . it just all sort of happened and we signed the papers requesting it.

But now the buyers of our home are asking for equally small repairs.  Silly repairs.  And I fully recognize how the universe has swung around to show us how it feels to be asked to repair silly things or risk putting the whole sale in jeopardy.  I know it is all normal buyer-seller stuff.  To be expected.  It is just a thing on my radar that is annoying me.  Hurry up, get it done, get it paid for, get it reinspected, get the agreement paperwork submitted.  Dear LORD get me out of this house before the kids spill grape juice on the carpet!!  It isn't my carpet anymore!!!

I'm ready to whip out the snow gear in 2.5 weeks and get up there for the winter *ahem* I mean summer fun.

Current Picture: 

Weather

Today is Sunday April 17th.  We are in the heart of spring.  I spent the first half of my day sitting in patio chairs and visiting with my parents while enjoying a cool beverage and watching the kids play in the dirt.  The second half of my day I was barefoot walking through the warm sand in our backyard while gardening.  Later I threw the ball for the dog over and over again until she was tired.  It has been a beautiful New Mexico day.  The temperatures were in the high 70's by late morning.  Perfect weather.


I got a little tired of all the sunshine so I decided to come inside and start making dinner.  But first I opened my computer to check email.  I decided to peek at the web cams for Glacier to see how their day is going.



As I sat on my couch, newly suntanned and in a tank top, this is what I saw:

Three separate cameras.  Two of them completely covered in snow, and one of them showing even more white shit. There were more camera views available, but it is more of the same. I checked and they received just over 5 inches as of this morning. . . not counting what continued to fall all day. 

*Sigh* 

It's ok.  It will be ok right?  I will see the sun again right??   My GOD is it winter all the time up there??  What the hell?

Glacier Pictures

Glacier is really impressing me already!!  They have so much (up to date!!) information on their website for the general public to access.  For example they maintain a Flickr account with pictures of park operations, scenery, wildlife and visitor activities.  Very cool indeed. 

You can go onto their flickr account and see current (as of  Friday the 15th) pictures of the snow plowing operations.  They also are posting wolverine pictures obtained from remote cameras.  What a great and modern way to get the public excited about the resources. Love it!!

BIG OL' BABY

Ohhh.  I am acting like such a child.  I am so very happy I chose the realtor that I did.  She is not only excellent at her job, but she is excellent at dealing with crazy people like me too. I went with my gut on this realtor and it is paying off.  This experience is so much easier with a person who can handle people - not just realty.


Anyway enough about that.  Here are some pictures.  There aren't any pics of the kids, they are having a rough afternoon so we will try for kid pics tomorrow.

I will be passing my potted plants off to a friend of mine soon.  Kinda sad to see my little babies go.  I get way too attached to plants.

Ready, Finally

I'm finally past the shock and the sadness of moving.  I'm organized (as much as I will be, anyway) and I'm ready to go.  3 weeks left.  I'm really ready to get out of this house, because I have already started to see it as another person's home. 

Now it is all about the waiting.

*sigh*

Getting Out

I get to go see some friends tonight.  I miss my friends.  I'm so happy. 

Tomorrow the buyer wants to see the house. . . again.  I don't blame them.  If I were them, I would want to see it a few times to take measurements, and to plan.  It is just inconvenient for us.  I am tempted to hang out in the back yard while they are here, just because I'm really tired of surrendering my home every time people come through it.  It is so difficult to leave each and every time - and then to wonder what they are doing in there for so long??  Are they opening my refrigerator?  Are they sitting on my couches, you know, to get a feel for how they would feel in the home?  I am just not very good at this whole home-selling thing.

Nick is being a little firecracker lately.  He is reverting to more baby-like behavior.  He wants to be held, carried, and fed.  He whines a lot and is defiant and argumentative.  He is having trouble sleeping and wants his Momma all of the time.  It is hard to live with.  But I remember Lucas going through a very similar stage (Lucas was a bit younger when he did it at 2.5yrs) and we survived it just fine.  Nick is a bit more intense in all things so it is a more difficult stage with Nick than it was Lucas.  I wonder if Nick is picking up on all the energy levels and is reacting in this way.  Or he could just be hitting the challenging age of three and giving me a peek at the next year of my life. 

What ever is going on, I am trying to be extra patient and not react too forcefully.  He, for what ever reason, is in need of more attention and time lately and I'm doing my best.

Enough

You know how sometimes, not often, you just have had enough?  Enough!!!  I'm there.  I've had enough.  Enough of everything.

I came home after my home was inspected to find that the inspector had opened every single window in my home and let in a tremendous amount of dirt - including all over Nick's bed.  We have 50 mph winds going on and dust storms right now.

In addition, he apparently checked every sink stopper in the house, and managed to break two of them.  I don't know how you break sink stoppers, but two no longer work.  They worked this morning when I was cleaning the sinks though. . . AND he removed a piece of our alarm system.  It is a sticky magnet that sticks to the door and it is now gone.  I can't arm the alarm system without it. I know it was there this afternoon when I left the house because the door beeped at me when it was opened.  And of course AJ is out of town tonight.

This isn't all the bullshit of the day. . . but it is enough to throw me over the edge of reason.  I'm in no mood right now to be civil to anyone.

Oh, and I just had an argument with Nick because he insisted he should be allowed to pee in the bathtub.  No, he wasn't taking a bath or a shower.  He just wanted to drop his pants and pee in the bathtub.  Then Lucas decided to lock Nick in the shower and leave the water turned to cold (Nick can't reach the knob) while Nick screamed and cried.  I ran in there and of course was very unhappy with Lucas' behavior.

Today needs to end, and I suspect it will end with me drinking some of my emergency stash of wine.

Funny Rural Montana Advice

Read this and try not to pee your pants.  Ok. So maybe you won't pee your pants because you won't be forced into fighting off the meth heads like I will.  But I do feel the battle-rage.  HA!

Said Today

Me:
"Lucas don't lock your brother into the sleeping bag."
"Nick don't smother your brother in the sleeping bag."
"That's it, no one plays with the sleeping bag."
"Who left the water running??!!"
"Stop fighting and help Mommy find the dog poop."
"Damn, I forgot to get diaper wipes at the store.  Lucas, bring Mommy the paper towels please."
"Lucas put the windex down, now."


Lucas:
"Don't worry Mommy, I just sprayed the chemical on my skin, not on my eyecovers."
"Mommy, I don't want to shower.  I'm busy cleaning and cleaning men don't take breaks."
"Nick did it."
"I didn't, Nick did."


Nick:
"I don't want grapes.  I want strawberries."
"But I wanted grapes, not straaaaawbeeeerrries."
"NO.  I want pineapple Mommy.  I'm so hungry."
"Buttttt I'm huuuuungry.  I don't want that, I'm huuuungry."
"You hurt me."
"Yes you did, you hurt me Mommy."
"NOOOO, you did!!"

P.S.  I never got near him and he declared that I hurt him.  He's on the fast track to being placed in foster care if he keeps saying that.

Beaver Love

The boys are currently watching an educational show about beavers and beaver dams.  They are loving the show.  There have been lots and lots of questions as we watch the show, which is good. We will hopefully see many beaver dams in our new state.  They have never seen a beaver or a beaver dam before, so this is good preparation for what we will find in Montana.

Yesterday we were learning about rivers.  Lots and lots of rivers and streams. They learned that rivers start small in the mountains and get bigger and bigger as they flow toward the oceans.

The day before we learned about water animals like bugs, fish, frogs, newts and others.

We have been looking at pictures on the computer and reading books about mountains.

It is going to be a whole new environment and I feel like I need to prepare the kids as much as I prepare myself - so that it won't be a total shock to us.

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Ehhh hahahahaha!!  We just got to explain "beaver love" to the boys - because the show became extra educational.  Nice. 

I imagine that we will see "elk love" and "moose love" and "bison, bear and mountain goat love" up in Montana too.  This should be fun.  I'll keep you posted.
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Update:
Oh NO!!  A grizzly bear chased a beaver down the hill - which resulted in me screaming like a little girl and covering the boys' eyes.  The kids tried to fight to see the action on the TV but I was determined to keep their eyes covered while I loudly screamed and yelled at the little brown beaver to hurry his fuzzy ass up and get to the water FAST. 

Thankfully the beaver survived and the kids don't have my arms wrapped tightly around their heads anymore.  I think I traumatized them more than the beaver chase did.

Things to Do In the Winter

PLACES: Pond Skim at Whitefish Mountain Resort | Flathead Beacon

There seem to be many events despite cold weather. A good sign.

Spiders and Sprinklers

There was a 2.5-3 inch long spider up under our eaves this morning. She was slightly hairy.  I've never seen a spider like this before.  The only thing I can think of is maybe a baby tarantula?  But do tarantulas climb like this?  If you have insight please let me know.

 Update:  I did a bit of research and based on the leg position, the size of the abdomen and the pedipalps, it looks like it may be a wolf spider or a close relative of a wolf spider?  Any more guesses?  I have better quality photos available if needed. 

She was really beautiful.  I had no inclination to kill her, although my neighbor felt she should die for some irrational, fearful reason.  He immediately decided she was a black widow.  I told him it was not a black widow.  I told him (nicely) to keep his paws off of my spider.



Pop and the boys fixed our swimming pool situation in the back yard!!  Problem solved for good.  Just in time to pass inspections on Thursday.



Now I need to go and buy about 12 tubes of caulk so we can re-do areas in our shower, around windows, and under our eaves.  Plus we need to re-tar around all the vent pipes on the roof.  I'm sooo glad we have "sold" the house.  One of my lilacs just started blooming, and it is beautiful, and it is reminding me of all the plans we had for the yard.  All my trees are showing such promise and now I worry that the new owners won't water them or love them like I do.  I need to let go, but it is hard.

Just Had to Share

I am a TMZ addict.  I make no excuses.  It is an ugly addiction, but I own it.  I came across this and liked it.  It is a positive thing on a generally negative site.

Nothing New

I still haven't posted pictures.  Sorry.  It has been a busy week.  I'm running around trying to accomplish all sorts of stuff in a small amount of time.  I have to un-enroll Lucas in school . . . and my calendar is filling up rapidly with last minute commitments and obligations - most of which I really don't want to do.

I really want to sleep.  I really want to not HAVE to do anything tomorrow. I really need a weekend, a REAL weekend with sleep and more sleep and being lazy in my pajamas.  It doesn't look like I have any room on my calendar for a day like that. 

You know what else would be nice?  A massage, a pedicure and a manicure. OR a full day of crafting without any kids around at all. 

Well anyway.  I will be spending the rest of the week and weekend wrapping up work commitments, and then I need to start working on all the little home repairs that never happened - just before our home inspection. 

On a side note is anyone else bombarded by TV advertisements for "universities" and "colleges"?  We keep getting Brown Mackie, National American University, Carrington College, Capella, Phoenix, ITT Kaplan,  . . . . . and they all have catchy songs that stick in your head and make you want to start screaming.  AHHHH.  I don't watch much TV, but for what ever reason those seem to be the only ads on TV. 

There is this one ad - I can't remember the school - where a highly questionable looking "graduate" with some computer degree, who is going on and on about how happy her Mom is, and how her Mom now looks at her with pride.  I can't help but yell  at the TV obnoxious things like "Of course your Mom is happy! You aren't living in her basement anymore!!"

Anyway.  Just my two cents on those schools who have the need to advertise with catchy songs and weirdo graduates.

Update

The wedding was beautiful.  Short, sweet and to the point.  There was an Elvis.  There was a beautiful bride and a very handsome Australian man in a tux. There was lots of laughing and hugging and joking.  There is an unbelievably beautiful ring. 

I took some drugs that helped me make it all the way through to dinner.  Dinner was being served and the second course arrived.  I looked across the table at my Uncle and told him I had to leave - like now.  He and Stella's friend Ryan gave me concerned looks.  I felt just terrible having to leave.  I really REALLY wanted to stay.  I wanted to celebrate Stella and Matt's marriage.  And yet my belly couldn't handle it anymore. 

I went and gave Stella and Matt my apologies, ran in heels through the busy casino, frantically pushed elevator buttons, made it to the room and barely to the toilet.  I hadn't thrown up this entire time and now here I was, in nice clothes, fake eyelashes and beautiful hair.  It made me so sad.  I hate the timing of this flu. 

I feel somewhat better this morning.  Lucas just threw up again as I typed that. 

Overall, the day was amazing, and being sick is a small memory compared to seeing my baby sister marry the man she was meant to be with.  I am just so happy for them both.  It makes me a bit teary eyed to think of how perfect for each other they are. 

I will post pics asap.  We will attempt a drive home today.  We are supposed to stop and see AJ's long lost Dad in Kingman somewhere.  I hope the boys are able to see their Grandpa (they have no memory of him).

Have a great day everyone!! 

Struck Down

Ohhhh.  Today is the wedding.  So much to do.  And I am still so sick. 

Lucas was up all night throwing up and coughing.  No one got sleep.  AJ ran out to Walgreens at 1am to get Lucas some drugs.  Thankfully the pharmacist was on duty to advise him on what to get. 

Now AJ is back at Walgreens to get me medicine - so maybe I can make it through the evening without an embarrassing situation.  It is all I can do to not throw up.  I'm back to having an extreme aversion to meats.  Can't even smell meat without getting nauseous. 

Nick has a fever.

Anyway.  It hasn't dampened my excitement for Stella.  I am so excited for her and Matt.

All New

It was a very eventful day for me.  Shortly after I posted the last post, we were walking out the door to explore the town, when our realtor called.  We had an offer made on the house - a very acceptable offer and we had 24 hours to formally accept in writing.  Which means you need to get a copy of their signed purchase offer, sign in 40 million places, make sure the offer is ok with you AND your spouse (sometimes an issue with us), scan the signed offer into a PDF and return it to your broker.  Here's how that went for us:  Get email of the offer, run around like crazy people trying to figure out how the stinkin printer in our room works, finally print it off - argue over the offer and then sign it after.  Call our poor realtor 19 times for help, try to scan to PDF only to discover the hotel charges $5 per page for scanning to PDFs. So we end up faxing the damn thing to our very patient realtor. 

Our house is now "pending".

OH.  I forgot.  In the midst of all this we see on the offer that they want to move in on May 12.  "We" EOD on May 22.  Do we counter offer with a two week later date than they want and risk them saying "uhhh hell no"?  No.  AJ calls his new bosses secretary to find out what to do, she calls a person (note to self - send them all flowers) and suddenly she gets the paperwork moving to switch his EOD to an earlier day - May 8th. 

WHEW.  Thank goodness AJ has awesome people to work for that are super cool about understanding how badly we need to sell this house. 

So he was making phone calls to movers, and future bosses and I was calling the realtor every 2 seconds - only to have all of our phone calls dropped because. . . . who knew that Verizon won't have a cell signal on LAS VEGAS BLVD aka THE STRIP - in the heart of Las Vegas, NV.  Yes that is right.  We are sitting up here on the 41st floor of a really god damn large building and we don't have a cell signal - at all.  And all this shit went down today and we kept dropping calls.  I even *228-ed my phone to update roaming info - and no improvement.

Then I went to get poor Lucas some underwear.  Suddenly in the middle of the store I had a very distinct "uh oh" feeling.  Not feeling too well in the tummy area.  Sure enough.  Bad food of some sort came back to kick my butt for the rest of the day, and night.  My plans to drink profusely had to be set aside for more important plans to stay near a bathroom.  Damn.  I rushed back to my safe hotel room where I could be near a bathroom - but the lady was doing a very thorough job of cleaning - 40 minutes of cleaning.  DEAR GOD you don't need someone in your room while you are in my condition. 

My parents checked into the hotel.  Yayy!!!  They are in the same hotel - but are a solid 20 minute walk from our room.  This place is huge.  I can't even begin to find the words.  I like the rooms, but it is a really long ass walk to get to anywhere, especially when I forgot a stroller . . . among many, many other things. 

 

My Mom hadn't seen the kids in a full year because her immunity was compromised - so this was a very big reunion!

 

Now Lucas got to say hello!! 

  

Now Pop arrived after being gone for an HOUR while walking to his car, and then back.  He got lost.  I got lost trying to find the parking garage too.



Our room. I wanted to put it up here because I can't get over how big the thing is. And it is really well lit.  Whoever planned the lighting for this place is awesome!! 



Our neighbor the Wynn.  They are tiny compared to us it seems.  The boys liked watching all the ant-people swimming in their pools far far below us.

 



Bath time.



Well I hope I feel better tomorrow.  Over all, despite all my complaining, I had a great day.  Tomorrow will be super good too. 

We Arrived!

We made it to our hotel last night around 9 o'clock NM time.  It was a ten hour day in the car with kids and we were super duper tired.  The kids did sooo well though.  They were as pleasant and well behaved as we could have hoped for - we are lucky to have great kiddos. 

Our suite is pretty sweet.  Sorry I couldn't resist being cheesy.

Here are way too many pictures.



Nick photography

  

More Nick photography.  The DVD player crapped out about 4 hours into the drive.  Back in the day - before DVD players kids weren't strapped into car seats and forced to sit perfectly still on car trips.  But now - now that they are tethered and five point harnessed - these trips mandate a DVD player. 



We played with our cameras.  Lucas is an excellent camera operator. Notice we stopped at a store and frantically purchased every single type of toy appropriate for the car that we could find??

 

Nick finally fell asleep at 4:30 NM time.  Don't let this picture fool you - this photo represents an hour of the drive.  He woke up and remained in a fairly good mood!!  Yaayyyy Nick!

 

View from the Suite.  We are 41 floors up.  It is the biggest resort in the world??  That is what the front desk lady said.  This hotel has more floor space than the pentagon - which is amazingly huge. 

 

The draperies are operated with a remote control.  Lucas is spending his morning playing with the drapes.  He is acting like a little king.  Dictating from the couch how he wants the drapes. . . . funny kid.



 

Last night we ordered room service because we were just so tired.  The man arrived to deliver some yummy sandwiches and Lucas announced that his "Mommy has forgotten my underwear at home.  That is why I'm wearing a pullup.  See??"  The man chuckled.  It is true.  Not a stitch of underwear for Lucas.  We will have to go find that along with several other items I've forgotten. 



The boys woke up with terrible sounding coughs.  In fact Lucas coughed so hard he gagged and rushed to the toilet.  I think it is official that they are sick again.  AJ and I are feeling extra mucus-y too.  I hope that we fight this off long enough to enjoy the weekend!!  Either way we will have fun, but it would be better if we didn't have to drug the shit out of everyone.