Nick gets a containment system

I was doing dishes and when I came into the living room this is what I saw. I grabbed the camera and started taking pictures. Lucas was in the process of carefully placing a laundry basket over Nick. This was after Nick crawled over to Lucas and tried to steal Lucas's bunnies.





This is the moment that Lucas realized that I was behind him watching. Look at the look on his face. He's wondering if he'll get in trouble. Of course he didn't because it was just too funny.



This was Nick after his release from jail.


The more I watch the kids learn to get along and interact the more I am reminded of my sister and me growing up together. We used to do some messed up stuff to each other. I'm glad my sister and I were close together in age and I am glad that my kids are close together now that Nick isn't an infant. It is certainly getting easier now that Nick is mobile. Which is what I had hoped for.

Ummm . . . Apples?

Did you ever watch the movie Meet the Fockers? Remember the part where the little kid who is being ferberized starts saying the word "asssssss. . . .hole"? I never liked that part of the movie because it never seemed very real to me. Why would a kid pick up a word that fast? Ben Stiller only said it one time. And why would the kid drag out the word ass, pause, then say hole? Over and over and over again? Not realistic.

Today I was proven wrong.

By my little boy.

Who started cussing like a sailor in a very loud voice.

In the middle of the produce department.

In front of a scornful woman whose eyes I could feel burning holes through my back.

And I can now inform you with a great deal of authority on this subject that he pronounced the word exactly like the little boy on Meet the Fockers. Over and over and over again. And I couldn't get him to stop or even to lower his voice.

My feeble attempt at covering up was this: "Apples? You want apples? Ok honey we will go get you some apples." And off we went. Very fast. And no we didn't stop for apples.

My days of cussing ended several weeks ago. Every now and again I catch myself but I am getting better. Apparently I let another one fly at some point and I don't remember. Crap. I mean golly gee.

Here is Nick flirting with me again. You wouldn't know it but he is trying to get me to give him more teether "wheels". He had just polished off his third one when I snapped this photo.


This is my attempt at capturing my beautiful blond on camera. He reached out and covered the lens. Too bad because he is super cute.

Lucas the protector

Lucas goes between annoyance with his brother and a protectiveness. A good example of this would be today when I was carrying groceries into the house I left the front door open (completely forgetting that Nick is mobile). Say it with me now "good mommy, goooood mooommmmy". Anyway, back to my point, Lucas saw Nick heading out the door and started calling "mommy heeelllp!" while he sat on Nick's back squishing him to the floor so that he couldn't move anywhere. Instead of getting mad or upset Nick seemed more determined to get out the front door than before and started reaching out for the threshold with his fingertips and trying to drag the both of them out the door.

Ha HA HAAA! It was so funny. Nick was in no danger of injury but Lucas sure thought so.

Here are pictures of Lucas after he put his shirt on for the first time - all by himself. Note: it is backward. He was so excited that he got his head through the "neck hole" without any assistance. So cute.




Here is Nick trying to get stuff off of the couch. He decided that flirting with me would be more successful at getting what he wanted. He was right. That kid has me wrapped around his finger. I mean, just look at that face.

Babies, babies everywhere

Wow. I have two girlfriends that have given birth to new baby boys this week! I also know one more person who is due any day now and she also is having a baby boy. So exciting. Was it really cold 10 months ago? What is with all the procreation that was going on? And all boys too. This Mom's club that I joined is full of pregnant women. And once again. I thank the inventor of birth control that I will never be pregnant again.

I wish I could have convinced them to take my baby clothes but I ended up finding a good home for them despite the bitter rejections. . . sniff sniff. You see here in the big city (haha) people come to your door for donations. These people are from reputable charities like the boys and girls club which is who I donated all the clothes to. I also gave them a slow cooker, vacuum cleaner, car seat, baby swing, various baby toys and adult clothes. Basically I got rid of some serious STUFF.

On a totally different subject. I am so ccccoolld! This is supposedly one of the "warmest winters on record". But I am still cold.

Surviving at Wal-Mart

Today we went to another Mom's house for playgroup. Afterward I, being the genius that I am, decided that we would go to Wal-Mart for bananas and a very needed DVD player (ours has died a long tragic death which was hurried along by a toddler wielding a plastic hammer and screw driver).

We get there and Lucas starts having melt downs because it is dangerously close to lunch time, while Nick is having melt downs because it is dangerously close to nap time. Good timing huh? So I bust my ass through the store grabbing everything I need and realized that I had to go to the bathroom SO BADLY!!! Like SOO BADLY!! So into the bathroom we go (thank GOD they had just cleaned it. . .) where I went into the handicapped stall. There I had the privilege of juggling a ginormous 8 month old while I maneuvered my belt off and my pants down. I then got to pee with him on my lap, and attempt to redress myself with one hand all the while being supervised and loudly told what to do by a toddler standing by. He announced to the echoey bathroom (and probably those outside in the layaway section too) that mommy had just gone pee and that I also wiped and now I was flushing. Oh goody.

I decide that it is in every one's best interest to eat at the Subway conveniently located in the friendly neighborhood Wal-Mart. Lucas is such a good little guy and ate his sandwich with little to no assistance from me. Nick on the other hand is tired and wants NOTHING to do with the spoon I am aiming at his mouth. "NO BABY FOOD MA!!" And to make his point he grabs the baby food and throws it into my lap. Nice. So I hand him a Cheeto to shut him up and save my sanity while I wipe the full cup of baby food off of my lap and shirt with the TWO measly napkins they gave me. Ummm Helllllooooooo? Woman with babies = LOTS OF NAPKINS NEEDED!!

Lucas finishes his sandwich and I load him and Nick back into the cart so that we can dash to the register and make our escape. Except that Nick is dropping soggy cheetos on the floor as we go, and I am stopping to pick them up so that some old frail woman doesn't slip and fall on the nastiness. Then Nick starts grabbing for my boobs leaving cheeto streaks down the front of both boobs. Only the boobs. Little baby fingerprints in Cheeto orange on both boobs. Lovely. That will go well with the baby food in my crotch.

Lucas is by this point COVERED from head to toe in Cheeto orange as well and is sitting in the basket of the cart nicely. He is partially buried in boxes of Ziploc bags that I had forgotten that I needed. He is loudly sucking on his fingers to remove the buildup of Cheeto cheese.

I arrive at the register with my hair pulled out of my pony tail because Nick got a hold of it while I picked up a Cheeto and I hadn't had a chance to fix my hair. I clearly haven't had a shower in a day or two, covered in mushy food and cheetos. My kids look like hell as well. Everything I put on the belt to pay for has clearly been touched by Lucas who has left Cheeto cheese behind. The checker gives me a look like "GOD. . . you are one of THOSE mom's." The immaculate woman in front of me who is buying all organic foods gives me a similar look. And I swear Lucas started smacking his lips louder.

When I got out to the car and got everyone loaded I noticed that my fly was open and CRAP I FORGOT THE FREAKIN' BANANAS! Good times.

Momma needs to baby proof damn it

Just as it did with Lucas the need to baby proof has snuck up on me. I suspect the next several days will be a whirlwind of baby gates, padding corners, covering outlets and putting small items away. It probably wouldn't kill me to clean the floors also. But that isn't really baby proofing, just good hygiene. Wait. Is it hygiene to clean floors? Hmm. I'm going to have to look up the definition of hygiene.

Anyway. My sis-in-law was visiting and it was really good to see her. She fell in love with our genius super-model babies, but who wouldn't? They are after-all what the entire world revolves around. Kidding of course. But it was a good visit.

So lost

I don't know what the hell I am doing. I wish kids came with instructions.

Before we had kids we had all the answers and swore we could raise our nephew and niece with our eyes closed. It was easy. Why didn't their parents see the obvious mistakes that they were making?

And then we had kids.

Now we are just as clueless as all the other parents we once claimed "were doing it all wrong".

Sorry Christina. You were right. It is not as easy as it looks.

HE IS OFFICIALLY MOBILE!!!

Well tonight the little one crawled. He's pretty shaky still but he is officially a crawler. He is so proud of himself that he didn't want to go to sleep tonight, he wanted to keep crawling.

I hurried up and posted the video so that AJ can download it and see it! I feel bad that he missed it so I ran and got a camera. Tomorrow when he gets home he can see for himself.

Now I have to go find our baby gates in the garage which is full of boxes.

Oh and on a side note: I have no idea how to fix the image for my title bar. I hate technology when it makes me feel stupid.

I swear I'm not a pig all the time

Today I hosted my first playgroup meeting. Five mommies and their boys came over to play. I was really nervous about Lucas sharing his toys but he did incredibly well. I am so proud of him. He ran around like a good little host and handed toys to everyone. He kept bringing toys out and giving them to the kids which I completely didn't expect. I thought there would be a ton of drama. And there were two times where he broke down and cried but that is because a boy was playing with his favorite toy, the garbage truck. I had put the garbage truck into Lucas's room because I knew this would be an issue, but Lucas pulled it out of his room and shared it. He quickly realized that he didn't really want to share his truck so there were some tears until I was able to put the truck back into his room - safe from the other kids.

I HATE hosting things. I really don't like people to come into my house, to be honest with you. I feel like I should be invited to their homes but they don't need to come to mine. I know this is weird and not rational but I don't care - it is just how I feel. I think this is because I am really bad at decorating and furnishing a home and don't want people to realize this. But anyway. I got the house really clean and de-cluttered for today. It is beautiful, you should see it. But my bedroom kind of ended up as a catch-all room where I threw everything I didn't know what to do with. And it is a DISASTER. Seriously. It is awful. I am going to go clean it once Nick wakes up because it is so bad. There is stuff on the bed, on our dressers, covering the bathroom counters, on the floor. . . it's everywhere.

I have a point . . .the reason I told you about my bedroom is because a little boy, Ben, ran into my bedroom chasing one of our cats. And his mom, Sara (who I really like), went chasing after him. Ben didn't just stop once he got into the room, no he ran all the way through our room, into the bathroom and into our closet. And so did his mom. And now I am mortified. All I wanted to say to her was "I swear this isn't how we live. . . I SWEAR!!! I'm not a pig. . . most of the time anyway". I left our bedroom door cracked to let the cats run into our room to hide. Bitches. Those stinkin' cats cause me more grief. I am blaming them for this. Again. Not rational. I know.

Sniff Sniff

Why am I crying? It is only an inauguration. But for whatever reason I am all emotional about it. I am just so happy that we have THIS president. I am worried that we are putting him on a pedestal that he will inevitably fall from. And I am so very VERY happy that I am no longer screaming obscenities at the TV when the president gives a speech. Finally after eight years and three votes I finally got the guy I voted for.

Hey Look. . .

I miss Shannon K. Some of you faithful readers (all three of you) remember Shannon. Well tonight I am making a dinner that she made for us right after Nick was born. She came over to our house and did all the work and the meal was so freakin' good. Quesadillas. She marinated the meat in this fantastic brew that she threw together off the top of her curly head. She is such a good cook. Anyway I got the recipe from her and as I was making dinner I started missing her. Moving on.

Nick decided to make up with Haylee after hitting and biting her tail earlier today. And Haylee suddenly remembered why she puts up with children at all.



Here is Nick up on AJ's shoulders for the first time. Clearly he is terrified.


This is our dinner. Doesn't it look really colorful? Thank you Picasa for the increased saturation.


More saturation.


Mmmmm. Saturation kicks some serious booty. (see. I'm cleaning up my language.)


And I would post Lucas pictures but he religiously avoids the camera lately. Which is too bad because his blue eyes are pretty cool on camera. Especially with increased saturation. . . alright I know I have a problem.

Yesterday we headed into the mountains to find pine cones. It is pretty nice because the mountains are a whopping 25 minutes away. Uh Huh. The reason we needed pine cones is because Lucas has been watching a lot of Open Season (an animated movie) in which a bear is pelted with pine cones by some crazy squirrels. Lucas has been wanting pine cones after seeing this movie, like, 30+ times. So we went and got pine cones. It was a really nice drive and we played in the snow, collected some pine cones and then headed home. Good times.

Nick needed flair

Decisions.

I can't decide on a template for this blog.

I can't figure out what to have for dinner. . . in 1.25 hours.

Something involving pork chops. I think.

Why is it always up to me to decide what is for dinner? I plan, organize and deliver the dinner at the same time every night. Then I clean up. Then Nick gets a bath. Then off to bed for Nick. Next Lucas gets a bath. Then off to bed for Lucas. EVERY NIGHT.

Monotony.

Grumpy.

Those two words pretty much sum it all up for me right now.

Trying to Crawl

Trying but so far no success.

Temper, Temper

Lucas refused to take a nap today. Which was fine instead he had "quiet time" in his room with books. But at about 3:00 this afternoon he got upset when we left for the store and didn't bring his car. This is a car that he rides around the house and it isn't something that would have physically fit into our car. So I wasn't just being a bitch, there was a reason I said that we had to leave it home. Anyway. He threw a living fit. So off we go to the store with me thinking that he is going to get over it in a few minutes. WRONG. He just got more and more pissed off.

I told him that we were turning around and going home because I wasn't taking him out into public acting the way he was acting. So then he started yelling HOT DOG HOT DOG! Over and over in between sobs (we were going to buy hot dogs for dinner).

We get home, I unbuckle him and he refuses to get out of the car. So I help him get out of the car.

He is screaming at the TOP OF HIS LUNGS so all the neighbors could hear that he wanted to go back to the store. Once I got him out of the car and closed the door he ran to the back of the car and (still screaming) started to push the car trying to make it go.

I tried to escort him to the front door but he went limp and fell to the ground where he continued to scream in a hoarse sobbing voice.

So I picked him up.

He remained limp and screaming.

I laid him on his bed. He kept screaming.

I closed his door. And now he is asleep.

Thankfully my Mom was available for me to call in the middle of this because I started to get pissed at Lucas until she pointed out how humorous it was. And it was. He was just being a two year old and it wasn't something to get upset about. Thank God for Mom's.

Lucas . . . Bundy?

Did you ever see Married with Children? You know that show on Fox that was so popular in the 90's? Well today I went in to cover Lucas up with his comforter after he fell asleep for nap time. I couldn't help but notice that he had fallen asleep with his hand tucked into his diaper - just like Al Bundy used to do on the show. NO . . . his hand wasn't too far down his diaper so don't get all grossed out, it was just tucked in enough to be resting on his hip bone. Just like Al Bundy. I got such a kick out of that.

HD TV. WHOO HOO.

I am learning about all sorts of technology lately. First the FireFox download and now I found out from my sister that she gets HD TV free with rabbit ears in her city. She told me that she gets the basic channels for free all because of the feds updating from analog to digital tv. They are broadcasting in some areas in HD. I told her she must be smoking crack. There is NO WAY that HD channels would ever be for free.

We haven't yet gotten around to hooking up our satellite tv and have been without tv for the last 6 weeks. I told AJ that we ought to hook up the bunny ears and see if we get any channels and guess what? Yeah I know I've got you on the edge of your seat right? WE HAVE HD TV TOO!!! FREE. Why in the hell would I actually PAY extra for this through a satellite company when I get the basics for free in HD? We decided to not hook up the satellite and just up our netflix subscription and save a bunch of money. I am super excited. I love a good bargain.

Here are some pics.

Lucas wasn't feeling too well on this day and stayed on the couch for most of the morning.


AJ and Nick

How come I didn't know this?

I just downloaded the Internet browser FireFox (a free download) to replace Internet Explorer. Guess what? I LOVE FIREFOX NOW. Surprise. Why was I even bothering with the stupid Internet Explorer? It would randomly shut down and gave me a crap load of problems recently despite my getting the latest "service pack" installed.

SO HAPPY. It even transferred my favorites list and browsing history. Yes I know!! Super F-ing cool.

Baby food

I figured out what we spend on the wonderful pureed baby food for the month of December. Are you ready for this? $50. Yes I know, it's crazy because the dang kid isn't even that big and really doesn't eat $50 worth of food in my opinion. You want to know what is worse? I purchased all the baby food on sale and it was still $50. So I decided that I was going to make my own baby food.

I read the book Super Baby Food and thought the author was an overachieving nut job. . . who had some good ideas worth trying. But if she thinks for one MINUTE that I am going to grind my own grains and make baby cereal from scratch or build myself a homemade yogurt cooker then she has another thing coming. But the book did encourage me to try the whole baby food deal because the author claimed it was simple.

And it was simple. I did some pureeing with Lucas and ultimately just fed him store bought baby food because finding produce worth a damned that was affordable was next to impossible. But with Nick I have access to lots of yummy produce at very reasonable rates.

I am proud to report that I have now made the following baby foods which I expect to feed Nick for a month:

• pears
• kiwi
• sweet potato
• papaya
• prunes
• pears with blackberries
• squash
• applesauce

To make all of this food (which is filling my freezer) it cost me a whopping $16 not including the reusable Gladware containers.

I'm the bestest most wholesome Mom ever huh? Yeah hold onto the award until you hear this:

Nick has for the last two months screamed and cried when we try to get him to fall asleep by himself in his own bed. We thought we had this all behind us until a few nights ago when he started screaming all over again. The doctor checked him and he is totally healthy. And his separation anxiety is really REALLY bad. I can't set him down with out the waterworks starting. I can't leave the room or anything. The kid is super clingy. Last night we tried like we do every night to force him to sleep by letting him cry it out - again. I am ashamed to say that this usually works after hours of screaming, swollen eyes, throwing up, more screaming, Nick loosing his voice and finally. . . he goes to sleep. Then this is repeated throughout the night.

Well last night was the LAST NIGHT that we will do this to our poor little Nick. I finally had a long overdue light bulb come on that asked me "Why are you doing this?". And the only answer AJ and I could come up with was that "this" was what we were told we were supposed to do. Nick is happy in our bed, we are happy with Nick in our bed. . . so SCREW ALL THE PROFESSIONALS who told us that this was going to damage our kid and our marriage because they aren't the ones trying to get some sleep. They don't have to deal with the crushing guilt I am living with and more importantly they aren't the ones who have to look at a freaked out little baby with a rash and swollen red eyes from crying so much.

Helping Nick to Crawl

Lucas wanted to help Nick learn to crawl so he picked Nick's legs up and then dropped him. This picture was taken just after Lucas let go of Nick's legs, you can see Nick is in mid-drop. Don't worry, no children were injured and everyone was having a good time.

Little Nick was loving all the attention and Lucas felt like he was helping his brother out and was proud of himself.

Here is Lucas's new haircut. Notice that on his right side he has more hair than on his left side. Ahhhh. The search for a decent "little boy" cut continues.

Nick discovered that Lucas had diluted apple juice in his sippy cups. Now when Nick sees a sippy cup he freaks out until you give it to him.

De-meow

I looked into this whole idea of de-meowing the girls. Apparently it is not commonly done to cats. Dogs are the ones who are typically debarked and it is a rather controversial procedure. Some people think it is cruel and unnecessary and others feel that it is sometimes necessary to keep an animal in its home and free from abuse. Pre-kids I would have considered this cruel and unnecessary. Now that the cats have taken a backseat to the kids my views on this subject have changed. I guess it is harsh but it is better than me throwing shoes across the room at them when they decide to start yowling 5 minutes after the kids have FINALLY fallen asleep. Poor kitties shouldn't live in fear of a flying shoe and I shouldn't live with unnecessary noise. I have enough noise around as it is. They need to be quiet and stick to eating sleeping and being the good sweet kitties that I know they can be.

At the next vet visit I am going to push for this little procedure.

And on a totally different topic. . . I have a huge GINORMOUS box of clothes that we need to get rid of. Plus I am getting ready to offload a bunch of toys in the next 6 months and I can't find anyone to take any of it.

Hiking in the Wind

We took a "hike" today. It was fun, we went up one of the volcanoes in the park. The top of the hill in the picture below is our destination. We planned for worst-case weather scenario for the kids but forgot to bring enough wind protection for ourselves so AJ and I got a little cold but not too bad. It was really pretty there but I was amazed at how many people hike in the area. We were surrounded by people on the entire hike it was crazy. I am used to the solitude of the Caverns but not here. . .



It was a nice walk and wasn't very far at all which is good because Lucas refused to take a nap today and the hike was a bit of a stretch for him. But he did well as long as he was getting a ride.


I tried to get the kids to look at the camera but ended up wrestling with Lucas while Nick did his best to let me know that I hadn't fully tightened him into the backpack . . . BAD MOMMY. So ignore the baby on my back who is leaning way too far back and to the side.

Here is a much happier Nick post-tightening. I was happier too because my back wasn't under the strain that it had been. Other than the wind it was a beautiful day. People brought their dogs on the trail which is totally legal here. I am super excited for the day we get a dog. There is so much to do with dogs in this city. I think we will wait a year or more for a dog but it is good to know you can go hiking in the park with them. They even have dog poop bags at the trail head! Handy.

More zoo pictures

I know you probably don't give a rats ass about my zoo pictures. . . and I don't blame you.

Here is a wood duck that this crazy photographer couple kept feeding. They had a whole bag of grain and would feed all the birds (which they are allowed to do here) essentially keeping the birds away from the other photographers around. They all had HUGE lenses on their cameras. So the other photographers were pissed off and were yelling at the bird feeders. Very exciting.


This poor little dude wanted out so bad.


This golden eagle had his intense eyes fixed onto the bag of pretzels Lucas had in his hand.


These polar bears kept sniffing the air. We were the only ones there so they must have been smelling us.


The bobcat also wanted out. He probably wanted to go down and steal the Jaguar's food.


This is the new snow leopard. He is so little and really shy.


This cougar had eyes only for Lucas (located under the sunshade of his stroller). How sweet. Don't you think?


I did not capture on film the teenage gorilla who hit the glass in front of us trying to scare us. It was really funny. So I started clapping . . . and the little shit started clapping back at me. He was really cute.

And I also forgot to use the camera to capture the baby Orangutan who was playing with her mommy's nose. The mommy who's name is Sarah is such a good mommy. She let us see her baby and when a loud group came along she turned her back so that the noisy people couldn't see the baby.