Japanese Garden

Now that we have this big patch of bare land to work with I have turned my attention from house shopping to gathering gardening ideas. You should see it. Bare land. There is nothing on this lot except a bunch of sandy dirt that blows into mini dunes. So I have a lot of work to do once we move. For inspiration, and to get a very cranky Nick out of the house I visited the botanical gardens today and spent most of my time in the enormous and very well maintained Japanese Garden. It was beautiful. I will definitely be going back very soon and this time I will remember to take a camera and might even remember to use it. If all the stars align and I take pictures I will definitely remember to post them here ;-)

Now I have a grand Japanese Garden that has only native plants and uses minimal water running through my head. And most of my brain insists that this is something that I can completely do all by myself. There is a small teeny tiny voice in the back of my head that is calling me crazy. And then there is the thing about me liking the Japanese Garden look but I also like the messy chaos of a more natural free flowing garden. Oh yeah. I almost forgot. . . I'm also lazy. I need a garden that is pretty easy to maintain and that can care for itself once established - excluding weeding and necessary seasonal cleanups. While I like the look of balanced branches and trained vines and limbs, I really don't see myself out there tying trees into shape with bamboo sticks. Maybe I can have elements of a Japanese Garden without having the full deal.

And I am also getting way ahead of myself with all this garden talk. First things first. I need to somehow move again. Third time in seven months. This time it is just AJ and me doing the packing and moving and I am not quite sure how to do it. Before kids it wasn't a problem. But now I can't even get a box packed without people trying to push it around the room or pull the tape off and play with it. We also have several boxes that are decorated with crayon as well. And the physical moving of large items while trying to keep people out from under foot as well as happy and occupied. . . *sigh*. We can totally do this.

Too Much Information (TMI)

Before I tell you all about the horrible embarrassing thing I need to tell you that we got the house!! WHOO HOOO!!! No faulty pipes, no creepy neighbors (that I've seen), no questionable neighborhood, no squeezing into a marginal house! Inspections are this week.

Alright. Now to the nitty gritty (really everyone, this is one of those subjects that would be classified as TMI so if you don't want to know then stop reading now). This morning there was an "incident" involving me, the toilet and a toilet plunger. You get the picture. And shortly after that Lucas's speech lady arrived. Ahhhh. Now you see where I'm going huh? Lucas wouldn't stop repeating the phrase "Mommy plugged up toilet." OVER AND OVER AND OVER!!! She didn't know what he was saying so kept encouraging him to repeat it so that she could understand. . . WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO??? AJ busted up laughing and nearly wet his pants. If she figured it out she didn't let on.

He is such a little spy. Can't I have embarrassing moments and keep them to myself? Noooo. He is now going to go tattle tell on me to everyone he meets.

Third Time's a Charm?

Here are pictures of the house we just made an offer on. Been there done that (three times now). The realtor didn't even need to show us all the places to initial and sign because we knew each and every spot. Hopefully this house works out. I like it. It is 2.5 years old and 1724 sqft. 4 bedrooms, 2 bath, with a separate laundry room that I can close the door on! Whoo Hoo. I would be able to hide my laundry piles, which would be nice. I am so not getting my hopes up with this house though. I already have a backup house and 3rd house that we will move on if this one doesn't work out.

The pictures are not too great, or complete for that matter, but I was in a hurry. I threw in some other pics too.

Here is Nick in the hallway.


My Mom and Lucas checking out the kitchen.


My Dad and our Realtor in the living room


AJ and Nick


Lucas headed toward the "Owners bedroom". Whatever happened to the term Master bedroom?


Kitchen, Dining room


Me and Lucas entertaining ourselves with the camera while we waited for our realtor.


Nick driving the car while we waited for our realtor.


Here is my Dad and Nick


Lucas and Nicholas looking outside.


So cute in their matching PJ's.

Happy Anniversary

Yesterday was our 7 year anniversary (9.5 years since we began dating). AJ is out of town in Denver. He called while I was giving the kids a bath and then struggling to lotion and dress Nick. During our conversation I asked about his hotel room and this is what he said.

"Oh it is really nice. Next time I come up here we are going to have to find someone to watch the kids so you can come too. There are hardwood floors when you walk in and also in the kitchen and dining area. Plus the bathroom . . ."

At this point I cut him off. Hardwood floors? Kitchen? Dining room? In a hotel room? I double checked and yes, he is staying in some suite at a hotel for the govn't rate. Good for fucking him. And he is apparently having a blast. Our phone call was brief so he could run down to the lobby for happy hour with his buddies.

Yeah.

Leave the kids so I can go to Denver with him next time? Really? Was he serious? Who does he know that I can leave the kids with? And all this on my anniversary while I was breaking my back hunched over a tub getting soaked by two dueling brothers.

Has he never met me before? Has he never encountered a woman before? After 9.5 years he still has a lot to learn.

Leave it to Beaver

Here is Nick sort of walking. He did this on Saturday and my Dad is the dude in the movie helping Nick. He is so proud of himself for "walking" like all the big people. It is so funny. And Lucas is really helpful and tries to help stand Nick back up and help him steer. He is a good big brother. AJ got home that afternoon and Nick proudly showed off his new skill for his Daddy. AJ was really excited to get home so that he didn't miss all the action.

And no my life is not all "Leave it to Beaver" -esque. Today Lucas hauled off and kicked Nick (after Nick grabbed a fist full of Lucas's hair) in Wal-mart and caused a big screaming scene in the soap isle. I'm attempting to harshly whisper between gritted teeth to "KNOCK IT OFF OR ELSE" while both boys are screaming. People are trying not to look but can't seem to help themselves. Why do these things always happen in Wal-mart? I go there about once a month and I always end up starring in some white-trash drama in the middle of the store. But at least my kids had pants on over their diapers and I was wearing a supportive and concealed bra. So I wasn't completely blending in.

Enjoy the movie.

Too busy

The drama of buying a house continues:

Now we have moved to looking at new construction. I hate new construction. I swore I wouldn't ever even consider building our own home. And now I am. Uhhh. I hate the cookie-cutter every house looks the same - neighborhoods.

But there are some good things and some bad things about new construction. I would have to compromise on the size of the lot (obviously) and the distance from my neighbors (obviously) and the character homes get that come with age. However I would get in return, a new home with warranties, no questionable infrastructure issues (read: plumbing, electrical, single paned windows etc.), and a floor plan of my choice.

AJ was home for one day before leaving for another week so we took advantage of the day and had a picnic at the zoo. It was really nice. Except that I forgot to put sunblock on myself - again. I put it on the kids, but not me. I have really got to get better about the sunblock thing. And tomorrow is our anniversary so my parents watched the kids while AJ and I went to dinner. We went to our favorite Italian restaurant and had a nice dinner, and guess what? Not one child interrupted our conversation. It was so nice to actually have a non-distracted conversation with AJ. I had forgotten what it was like to just be the two of us and I really appreciated our "date". I can't believe we have been married for seven years. Dating for 9.5 years.

Here are some recent pictures.

Nick and Lucas playing at the park together.


Pop and Lucas playing on the equipment.


Nick taking it all in. And taking a bite of wood chips too.


Lucas practicing batting his pretty blue eyes at me.


Nick dumped his bowl of Chili on his head.

Bummed Out

I'm super grumpy. I really hoped that this home purchase would go smoothly but it hasn't. And tonight I told my realtor to forget it and that we don't want to continue to pursue the house. The sellers wouldn't pay for replumbing the house and we can't afford to so there you go. I can't live with pipes that are a ticking bomb. So. End of the line. And I REALLY liked the house. It felt like home. And now I feel like I am never going to find a place I like. DAMN IT! Why can't we hit the lotto and then I can just BUILD the home of my dreams? It sounds so simple: Buy ticket. Win money. Live happily ever after in a nice luxury home (Ok, so half the year I'd be on my fully staffed yacht in the Mediterranean but that is just a minor detail).

Now I am back to square one and I'm grumpy. I also need a shower and can't get one because SOMEONE (a toothless bald guy who will remain nameless) wakes up when the shower starts. So I am stinky and grumpy. Not a good combo. No need to feel bad for AJ because he is in VA all week. Meanwhile my underarm hair needs to get up close and personal with a razor.

"Too much information" you say? Fine. I will stop with the details.

But I will give you pictures to get your mind off my stinky ass.


I think this might be one of my favorite pictures. My Mom holding a sleeping Nick. It makes me want to cry. I just love it.


Nick asleep from a different angle.


Lucas being adorable in the bathtub. We had to threaten him with removal from the tub to get him to smile and look at the camera. . . Another proud parenting moment.


Here is Nick in the tub after he tried to get Lucas in trouble. Today I caught him yanking Lucas' pacifier out of Lucas' hand. Lucas hollered and Nick looked at me with these big eyes and started to cry as if he had been wronged. Poor Lucas. If I hadn't seen it all go down I would have thought Lucas was the instigator.


The boys in the bath.

A rediscovered personality flaw

I am all over the map when it comes to negotiating. I have discovered this while trying to buy this house. One minute I am super accommodating, like over the top walk-all-over-me accommodating. Then when the sellers ever so slightly pissed me off I completely shut down and have "screw 'em" attitude. Seriously. Screw 'em. I don't even care if I loose the house at this point. They pissed me off so I guess they might just have to find new buyers, won't they? I'll show THEM.

What is wrong with me? That is a terrible attitude. I should take these things in stride and see the big picture. I need to seek some sort of balance here.

I always knew that I was a terrible person to try to strike a bargain, but this just further demonstrates what I already knew. I am a complete freak about this stuff. Thank God my realtor is a level headed dude who seems to know what to do and how to handle the drama associated with buying a home.

Oh - a bragging side-note: My parents took Lucas to the Aquarium and botanical gardens today. He had so much fun. He is getting to the age where he has all this confidence and attitude like "I can do it all by myself" and "I went with Grammy and Pop and you weren't there! See how independent I am Ma?". It is so cute. He struts around and thinks he is the master of his world. I love it. My Mom struggled to get the stroller into the building where the Aquarium is and Lucas told her "push button Grammy!" meaning the handicap button which I always push. I love that he talks now. It was so difficult not knowing what he was thinking. Thank Allah for speech therapy! Then my Dad took Lucas out to lunch just the two of them. Lucas loves it when Pop and he get to go to breakfast or lunch. He feels so special and that is important. I never knew either of my Grandfathers and I am so excited to see my kids spending time with theirs. It is hard to believe that they are going home soon.

Lucas remembers everyone who comes to visit. He still asks about his Aunt Christina, Aunt Stella and Uncle Dave and his Grandma (AJ's mom) and Uncle Paul. He asks about everyone even the people he hasn't see in a while. Aunt Shannon is another person he asks about often. It is amazing how much he remembers. It is true when people refer to children as "sponges".

Alright. I'm done bragging. You can stop throwing up.

Bubbles bubbles bubbles

a




I forgot how much fun bubbles can be.

My current favorite

I recently did my semi-annual shop-a-thon to stock up on discounted kids clothes. I went to Kmart, Target and a consignment store to get winter clothes for next year since they are all so dang cheap right now. The consignment store rocks. Most consignment stores I have been to suck, they are dirty, the clothes are dirty, they are not organized, they are cluttered and difficult to navigate. This one is the opposite. I walked out of there with a good sized bag of clothes for $26. Not bad. I also found this weird contraption that looked like it might help me hold Nick since he is so HUGE and my arm is constantly tired from supporting him on my hip.

Enter the Hip Hammock

I got it for a whopping $5.99 - and it looks new!

So far I have been using it when I vacuum, cook, grocery shop, stand in line at the post office etc. It is HANDY. Nick wants to be held all the time and he was too big for the front carrier and I didn't want to whip out the backpack all the time so I found this. He likes it, I like it and my arm really likes it.

I feel like that dude on the infomercial that yells all the time. . .

Buying a house SUCKS

Our offer on a house was accepted. yippeee. But wait. Don't tap the keg yet. We saw on the disclosure sheet that the house has polybutylene pipes. Crap. It needs all new plumbing. The house is slab so I'm guessing we would have to go through the attic? Not sure. So now we get estimates and see if the owners will pay for this. Is it even worth the hassle? Ahh. Decisions.

I'm going to be so upset if we don't get this house. I really like it a lot. It meets all of my criteria. So far it is the only house we've seen that I really like. And believe me I have seen A LOT of homes.

So we can of course back out of this but we need to decide what we are doing soon. Ask them to lower the price so we can re plumb, have them re plumb or walk away from the home.

On a positive note. Lucas went to a gymnastics class for toddlers/preschoolers today. It was so FREAKING chaotic. 18 kids ages 2-4 in one room all trying to "share" equipment. . . .need I say more? And half the mom's were super engaging with their kids and did the bunny hop and the trampoline and the foam pit with their kids. They ran around and tried to keep their kids excited while they stood in line to climb the wall. . . And the rest of us didn't feel like fighting through all the elbows and arms to use the equipment since the kids seemed to be having more fun picking up the foam mats and hitting each other with them. "Why mess with a good thing?" was my philosophy. Ha Ha I am sooooo not going to do the bunny hop. (Alright fine. I did the bunny hop. I'm not proud of myself.) I have a super-cool-totally-got-my-shit-together image to protect. Jumping on the trampoline with Lucas would not fit into that so if you see a picture of us doing this. . . it is a fake. And so is the picture taken by another mom of me shoving Lucas up the climbing wall while we both laughed our asses off. Totally fake.

Helpful Bloggers

Thank goodness I just found this blog! Thing are looking up people. . .

Gluten Shmuten

Nick is on a Gluten-free diet. When the doctor suggested we eliminate Gluten I thought she was nuts. "Gluten? No one in our family has a history of Gluten intolerance. Are you sure?" I said to her. She told me to try it and let her know if his disposition improves. So on the way home from the Dr. we loaded up at the grocery store with $150 worth of gluten free products. My know-it-all self kept chanting in my head that I was wasting my money. Well. . .

Removing gluten has helped immensely with his irritability. Crap. Gluten intolerance is a life-long situation. It's not like lactose intolerance which may go away at some point. But I am sooo not complaining. He is like a whole new baby. He is happy and sociable again. He goes to sleep and stays asleep fairly well. Things are looking up. I just have to figure out this whole gluten free stuff. It is confusing. SO many things have gluten besides the normal breads and pastas. Soups, pasta sauces, soy sauce, pie crusts, bullion cubes - you name it and it has gluten. It is taking me a while to find things that we eat without gluten. Oh - and the pizza crust thing is going to kill us. We love pizza. I am going to have to make a special gluten free crust.

No Power? I'll just run out and fix it honey.

We woke up this morning with no power. Thank goodness I now own candles because for the longest time I did not. But the idiot next door apparently does not own candles. He was out in front of our house (where the electrical boxes are located - you know because the power lines are underground and the boxes are at idiot level every few houses) banging and trying to pry his way into the electrical box that services about 6-8 homes. I'm guessing he could fix it - or so he thought. I think it would have been a real sight to see him fix all 11,000 residences that were without power from this one box. I was wondering if natural selection would take place before my very eyes. . .but as it turned out the box was too smart for the idiot and he walked away completely unsuccessful after about 5 minutes.

Just photos

I've been really busy for the last week and will be this coming week so here are some pictures because they are easy. The first two pictures are from my sister (thank you Stella).

Nick and me.


AJ and Lucas playing at Explora.


My sister Stella and Dave with the boys.


Stella giving Nick a bath.


AJ, my Dad, Dave, Stella and Lucas watching an indoor water fountain.


Lucas playing with the garbage truck he got for Christmas and LOVES.


My Mom holding Nick.

Dinner Disaster

Dinner: left over hamburgers, and mac and cheese. Mmmm. I warmed up the burger patties in the microwave and ran to change Nicks diaper. I came back washed my hands and then put the hamburger buns in the microwave. I set the microwave for 2 minutes instead of 20 seconds on accident and figured that I'd just pull them out since I was standing right there.

As I waited I looked down at the kitchen floor to see what Nick was playing with and at first I couldn't really identify it. There were several roundish brown balls on the ground and he was poking at them - they were soft- with his index finger. Then I realized what it was.

It was poop. His poop. But why? How? Oh My God. I forgot to put a diaper on him. Shit. Literally.

I washed his hands, washed my hands, wiped his butt, put a diaper on this time and returned to the kitchen to a smoky smell. Shit. The hamburger buns. Ruined. No hamburgers tonight.

Dinner is served. Mac and Cheese. I put Lucas' into a bowl with a suction cup on the bottom, which I have never done before. He thought it was pretty cool so I showed him how it worked by pushing it onto the table and making it stick. I then turned my attention to Nick and began to feed him. Next thing I know there is a loud crash and something hits the wall behind Lucas. I look and he is covered in Mac and cheese. His bowl is gone. His fork is gone.

What the . . .? He bursts into tears. I look on the floor and the bowl is there on it's side. There is Mac and Cheese sliding down the wall. He had tried to unstick his bowl with brute force and it went flying. Great. Hysterical toddler. Mac and cheese everywhere.

Now the cat is helping to clean up. Toddler goes nuts because the kitty is stealing his Mac and Cheese. I see how upset Lucas is and that it was an accident and decide punishment would be mean. Together we clean up the mess and I serve him the last of the Mac and Cheese which was enough to refill his bowl.

I decide that it might finally be time to wash the kitchen floor.

you wanna know what's up?

I'm freakin' tired. That's what's up. REALLY REALLY tired. Like 2.5 years of exhaustion culminating into one tired, tired Mom. For some reason Nick rules the house when it comes to the sleep of everyone in this house. And I'm tired. I have allowed him to do this. I have been inconsistent and lacking structure and this is my reward for not doing it right to begin with. Exhaustion. Nick is so stubborn and frustrating. Lucas was by comparison really easy. Although at the time Lucas was hard. Now that I look back, I had no idea how good I had it teaching Lucas to sleep by himself. So as the parent I have to teach Nick the rules. And the rules include sleeping through the night and letting his Mom and Dad get some sleep too. He is really going to be pissed off too.

Here I go talking tough again. But when it comes down to it I wonder if I'm gonna be so tough.

DUCKS!

I saved up the ends of my bread loafs and went to feed the ducks. It was super exciting for a certain 2 year old. The 9 month old thought it was pretty cool too.




Here is Nick, socializing with my parents dog. They seem to really like each other.

Relief

The blood tests came back and Nick's blood levels are normal or close enough to normal that we are no longer concerned with the dreaded L-word "leukemia". Just typing the word makes me shudder. The doctors in their own words were "all scratching our heads" trying to figure out why Nick's neutrophil would go from zero to normal overnight. A lab error can not account for this change. So he is no longer neutropenic which was scary. Now we go back in three weeks to determine if he has something called cyclic neutropenia.

Also his platelet count went from 7000 to over 750,000 overnight. That didn't seem possible to the doctors and they suspected a lab error where two zeros were dropped. They double checked and indeed Nick went from 7000 to 750,000 in 24 hours. No lab error. So he no longer is in danger of a "spontaneous bleed" due to thrombocytopenia which was a major concern and the reason why we had to be admitted so quickly to the hospital. In essence he could have bled out internally spontaneously, without any warning, for no reason at all - because he didn't have enough platelets to stop a bleed.

(Are you sick of all the Wiki-links? Alright I'll stop. The learning curve is steep on this stuff and I have no real grasp of the subject. I thought the links might help.)

So it is over. At least the scary part. I don't even care that no one can explain what happened or WHY IT HAPPENED. I don't know if it will happen again. They said that as a guess it could have been caused by some sort of virus that pretty much flattened poor Nick's immune system. That is only a guess. Or it could be that cyclic thing I mentioned above. Whatever it is - as long as it isn't life or death . . . I don't care.

The doctor told me they don't get to deliver good news like ours very often so she and her colleagues were arguing over who got to give us the good news. We were in the pediatric special care unit where there were a lot of children with cancer and other serious illnesses. I felt so happy to be leaving the hospital with all the sick kids wandering the halls pulling along their IV poles. But I also felt so guilty. We got really lucky and they didn't. One little boy was at the nurse's desk playing UNO with a nurse and another little boy (both boys were really sick and wore masks to protect them from germs) and the nurse congratulated us on the good news. This little boy looked up at me and smiled under his mask because WE got good news. He happened to have pneumonia because chemo destroyed his immune system. He was happy for us. It made me want to start crying all over again.

Thank you for sending your positive thoughts our way. I learned with AJ's back issues that having a good support system is half the battle when you deal with stressful things. I got so many emails and phone calls from people. And it made me realize how fortunate we are to have you guys. (It also made me realize how many lurkers I have because they outed themselves when they emailed me their offers of support.) Thanks again.

Scared Shitless

I'm going to make this brief.

The doctor just called (like 30 minutes ago) with the lab results from Nick's blood draw. And it is true that when you get bad news, really bad news that you stop hearing things. All I remember is this:

She said the words "possible leukemia". And the words "bone marrow biopsy". And the words "admit him tonight". Also I heard things like "blood composition not correct" and "platelet levels too low (7000 when they should be 150,000)". He will be seeing an oncologist and a hematologist tonight.

So there you have it. Some of the worst things a parent can hear. I'm absolutely terrified. Shaking in my skin terrified. I can't breathe normally.

Why am I on here typing? Because I don't know what else to do. I guess I could be pacing the room. But instead I am typing.

I am not religious. But please send good thoughts our way.

Still worried

Wow. I guess I am just full of depressing news lately. I am still very concerned about Nick. Actually I am probably more worried than when he had the high fever. He is so irritable still and really agitated. He has dark circles under his eyes and I don't know what to do for him. This sucks. Why can't kids tell us what is wrong? I wish they were born with an ability to communicate clearly. I'm taking him to urgent care tomorrow morning and am going to insist that they evaluate him for a kidney infection and at the very least discuss different medications. He seems to be in pain and is kicking a lot and screaming. Did I already say that this sucks? Ok. Just checking. Alright. No need to write sympathetic things in the comments. I am just venting again. I know it will all be alright. It's just that he is so little and he is so sweet and he is my baby boy. I had no idea that being a Mom meant that I would worry myself to the point of sickness.

Ahh Haa Haa. As I type this the President is on the TV and I looked at VP Biden and he was falling asleep! AJ says that he is reading but I think he is sleeping. That is a weird dude. I mean if you know you are going to be on TV in front of millions of people CHUG A REDBULL or take some meth.

What is the story?

All I can say is: WHAT THE FUCK?? I don't even care that I dropped the F-bomb. What the fuck?

Last night after several days of Nick getting progressively more and more sick his fever went to 105.5. So we doped him up on Tylenol and I took him to the pediatric emergency department at the university. We had held off on taking him in because the Nurse Advice line had told us that anything under 104 was no big deal. I now believe they are full of shit.

There I sat in the peds emergency department for 5 or 6 hours (but who is counting) waiting to be seen by a doctor. I later found out that they had one of the busiest nights for pediatric trauma for the last several years. Great. And this was the night I happened to be there. So I sat there safely locked into the peds department watching through the glass as a man collapsed in the waiting area for the adults. Then I watched as a drunk woman tried to attack a desk clerk because no one would discharge her because SHE WAS DRUNK. (In case you are dying to know: her boyfriend called the "pigs" on her and she didn't do anything to deserve this. Next time she is calling the cops on him so he knows what it feels like to be incarcerated at the hospital with no food. At least in jail they gave her food.) Thankfully they have security guards everywhere - especially on a Saturday night. The little boy next to me started throwing up everywhere. And every time a sick baby would wake up screaming it would wake up all the other babies whose mommies and daddies had just managed to get them to fall asleep and the whole room would erupt into crying, pacing, bouncing, shushing and vomiting. 5 hours. Maybe 6. Again. I can't remember. Too tired.

I do remember MY little boy limp, red faced from the fever, and totally uninterested in the activity of the room which is so unlike him. I also remember watching a family come rushing into the waiting area frantic to find out what had happened to their child who had arrived by ambulance. Something involving brain trauma and open wounds and lots of x-rays. I was really happy that I was just there for an unexplained fever. And it is funny to say but I was happy that I was one of the ones who HAD to wait. Because as you know, if they rush you in. . . that is sooooo not good.

At 1:00am we finally got to see the doctor who was very nice, very professional and apologetic for our long wait. She said they had seven major pediatric traumas which is highly unusual. She evaluated Nick whose fever had come back because the Tylenol had worn off. She said that we could run a couple of tests. One of those tests was a urine test administered via catheter. You know what comes next? Positive. The damned test was positive for a urinary tract infection.

The doctor said the exact same thing I heard when Lucas had a UTI. "Urinary tract infections in little boys are really unusual." Unusual. That is apparently the word used for boys with UTI's. Have AJ and I genetically doomed our children to abnormalities favoring UTI's? WHAT IS THE STORY??

We have our long awaited appointment for Nick with the Pediatric Urologist the end of march. I guess we will also be discussing this UTI.

Now that I'm thinking back I think this has going on all month and actually nearly 2 months. And in true Mommy fashion I feel guilty for not doing/seeing something earlier. I mean you would think that if I went through this already with Lucas that I would see all the signs . . . but I just wasn't looking. I assumed that the odds of having TWO kids with UTI problems is so far fetched that I didn't even consider it. And I feel terrible.

Get your freakin' monster child off my perfect angel!!!

You guessed it. Playgroup was today and it was a new playgroup for us. New moms and new kids. Three times a year our playgroups get reorganized so that moms and kids meet new people. I like it but I am wondering about some of the "hitters" that have been grouped together in our new playgroup.

So here is a question. What do you do when moms aren't paying close attention to their monsters *ahem*, I mean children, and don't see them hitting my well behaved innocent perfect angelic sweet boy? When he goes to hit the devil child back THEN the mom sees that. Now MY kid has been branded as the offender. Since I saw the whole thing to I tattle-tell? Which is what I would have had to do: "No actually Cindy, Michael hit Lucas first so Lucas was just retaliating. . ." Yeah. I don't think I'm going to do that. Because she wouldn't believe me - her kid is the angel and MINE is the devil. It's always the OTHER kid's fault never your own kids fault. So what do I do when I tell Lucas he can't hit but the other kids are allowed to get away with hitting him. Not fair either.

What I really want to do is teach Lucas how to hit the little bastards back HARD. But that isn't mature nor is it the answer. One day though. . . Lucas is gonna learn how to take bullies out fast and hard. But two and a half is a little young. It is amazing how unaggressive I was up until the moment I saw Lucas get clobbered. I don't care who you are or how passive you are once you see your kid get hit and the offender get away with it, you get all aggressive and nasty. Good luck if you think you are above it all because when it comes down to it YOU AREN'T.

Well no worries. Because I have called a member of my old playgroup and have "broken the rules" and jumped into another playgroup. There are two ladies that I know in this playgroup. Our kids get along well and so do the Mom's. No more devil children around my pristine baby. (I hope you realize that I'm kidding with all the angelic and pristine language. . . . sort of).

Laughable Fashion Concerns

Alright. I know this is silly and I am freely admitting that. But I was putting on Nick's socks this morning and was reminded of a silly fashion dilemma that I faced with Lucas when he was around a year old and I thought you might relate. Or maybe not. Maybe you will think I am lame, and quite frankly if that is what you think then I won't blame you one bit. Because I am lame. But only sometimes.

When Lucas was attending daycare (around 1 year old) I was putting a new pair of socks on him and they were different than his other socks because the were "tall"; they went up to his knees if I pulled them all the way up. I wasn't sure what to do with all the sock.

Do I scrunch them (circa 1982)? Nick kindly agreed to model the various sock fashions:


Do I pull them up to his knees (circa 1972)?


Do I fold them down (circa 1992)?


What do all the other moms do? Will they laugh if I choose the wrong sock style? Will Lucas get his ass kicked at daycare if he has a strange sock?

Seriously. This was a huge dilemma for me. I actually went to daycare and tried to get a look at how all the other kids were wearing their socks so that I could do the same with Lucas' socks. *Sigh*. I ended up selecting the folded down version of sock fashion.

Lame I know. But human. Right?

So what does precancer mean?

Ugg. The dermatologist called. Precancer. From my preliminary research this doesn't appear to be a big deal. If it were a big deal I would think the doctor would have called and spoken to me herself which didn't happen. Lucky me I get to have the rest of it "frozen off" which makes me nervous because it is less than 1/8 of an inch from my eye. Very VERY close to the corner of my eye. And it is such a tiny area. To give you an idea: It is about the size the letter " t " on your screen. It is about the same color as my skin, just a little pinker and it is very slightly raised off my normal skin surface. If it wasn't painful I would have never noticed it at all.

Ahhhh. I guess my days of carelessly running around outside are over. Sunblock every day now. I know I should have been doing it the whole time. Here is the thing. When I was working outside everyday I was really good about using sunblock and wearing hats and long sleeves. In fact I had to FIGHT a hard BATTLE with the then Chief of my division to be able to wear broad rimmed hats and long sleeves in the summer time. I had to argue with him in his office and finally when I presented him with the Uniform Standards that clearly state that I was able to dress this way he finally relented. Asshole. But that is another story. I won the fight and was good about hiding from the sun. But when I am not planning on being outside everyday it is hard to remember to do the sunblock thing. If I am just running to the store. . . you get the point.

Plus I don't have a good skin care routine and remembering or wanting to put lotion on in the mornings is not going to happen.

My sister suggested I try the spray on sunscreen so that it is fast, clean and easy. That is what I am going to do. It sounds like something I could get on board with. Thank goodness my family member ordered me to get my butt to the dermatologist for an "all over check" because I would have put it off indefinitely. Nobody wants to get naked in front of a doctor.

Finally FRUIT!

Finally fruit is making a comeback in the grocery store. I dread winters because I don't like many winter veggies and miss the abundance of fruit that summer provides. The other day I found blueberries, strawberries and mangoes - all of which looked yummy. So the kids have been pigging out on the fruit. Nick in particular loves the blueberries because they are just big enough that he can practice using the advanced "index finger-thumb pinch" to pick up his food. Now that he is eating the blueberries he has become pretty good with the pinch. Lucas on the other hand is loving the mangoes (a little too slippery for Nick) and will put down nearly an entire mango at lunch time. Mmmm. I am so excited about all the fruit that will be available in the coming months.

SPRING AND SUMMER ARE COMING!!! Whoo HOO!!

Rush to get to the airport

Within the space of an hour AJ heard bad news from his mom and we were at the airport sticking him on a plane.

My Mom-in-law's significant other has had a serious stroke and it appears as though he won't survive the night. It is pretty sad, but not unexpected. We have been watching him deteriorate for the last couple of years and we all knew that it was just a matter of time before something like this happened. I am upset for my Mom-in-law because she truly loves this man and they have spent many happy years together. As prepared as she was for this it still is very difficult and upsetting.

My point in writing this post is actually to celebrate (once again) the fact that we now live in a civilized area that has an operating airport. If we were still stuck in the hellhole referred to as Carlsbad, AJ wouldn't have been able to jump on a plane last minute to go be with his Mom. He will get there at 10:10 tonight. Not bad. He flew out at 6:45 our time. And we found out he needed to get there at 5:00. Pretty fast. Beats driving to El Paso for three hours and then getting on a plane.

Thank heavens we live in CIVILIZATION once again. It is SOOOO nice.

Just pictures

Here is Nick laughing at his brother.


And here he is just after trying to tear the blinds off the window. I had to raise them up after discovering that he could pull up on the window sill.


This is Mr. Lucas using binoculars to watch Diego, his cartoon. Diego has binoculars and so Lucas INSISTED on using mine. The rule was that he had to put them around his neck and stay seated. I am on the hunt for child-proof binoculars.


Again. Watching Diego. I told him to show his teeth for the picture in an attempt to get him to smile. Instead he showed me all his teeth. Too cute.


Water colors after breakfast. This allowed me to shower.


And here he is dismantling our old DVD player. And yes he did this all by himself. Give the kid a screwdriver and he'll take anything apart. He tried to take our recliner apart until I realized what he was doing and made him stop. Notice the cup full of screws. He is a very tidy child. AJ and I have been joking that we are going to have to buy old scrap appliances for him to take apart since he likes it so much.

Wait. . . .what?

AJ was talking to our neighbor who (whom? I never know) we have grown to like. She often brings her grandson over to play with Lucas and he goes over to her house to play also. In conversation AJ mentioned that we are renting this house and plan on moving in 3-4 months.

She said something like "well if I'd known that I wouldn't have wasted my time getting to know you".

So AJ chuckled because clearly she was kidding.

As AJ was chuckling she said "No, I'm serious."

WWWHHHHAAAATTTT??????

No really. What is wrong with people?

Finally pictures. . .

. . . by someone who actually knows what they are doing.




And in case you were curious. It is indeed very, no wait, EXTREMELY difficult to get two kids to look at the camera at one time. And it is even more difficult to get them to look at the camera AND smile at the same time. Hell, just keeping Nick from bursting into tears was challenging. But we got some pictures and I am very happy. The young lady at Sears (listen to me. . . young lady, am I 80 years old or something?) worked her butt off keeping the kids' attention and trying to get good photos. Yeah!!!